First Day Low

What was once a group that reached a high of around 45 people has been, sadly, decimated down to, reportedly, 18 souls. Based on what little I can remember from Probability Theory, I believe that this does not bode well for one's chances of not getting called on to humiliate oneself.

But, aside from the almost mathematical certainty that the cocktail party phenomenon will manifest itself six days a week, there is still a more compelling reason for tempering our exuberance, or at least, what is left of it. The rest of the 45 people who have moved on, were, most importantly, friends and colleagues, who shared in a rather unique experience that can, perhaps, be compared to the military's boot camp. They are talented people who took, and passed, what is probably the most exacting qualifying examination of any academic institution in the country. They have moved on, either temporarily or permanently, because they

a. happened to enrol one year too early, missing Aga's class in LegHis in the process.

b. dropped Method, along with a number of people, apparently enough to constitute a critical mass, giving the professor enough incentive to pass all the 10 people who were courageous, crazy, or lucky enough to have stuck with it.

c. did not pay enough attention to Bib lessons, particularly to those concerning citations.

d. was forced not to enlist in Method, after being placed on probation, after being screwed for not having citations.

e. a and b.

f. c and d.

g. all of the above.

h. none of the above.

P.S.

Repeat after me. "The equal protection of the laws."

Nirvana

If you were watching TV as much as I have over the summer, you couldn't have possibly missed that feminine wash ad where the girls are so ecstatic it drove one of them to do a little jig, and another to do cartwheels.

Let me say at the onset, that biological circumstances do not permit me to patronize their product. I have, however, normal sisters and female friends, who on occasion, talk about their stuff. I am glad that, to this day, I have never had the grief of watching otherwise normal people, so driven to euphoria by their feminine wash, ending up utterly helpless to resist the seemingly primal urge to do cartwheels.

The whole ad is stupid. The whole freaking cast was absolutely giddy at the thought of using the product, that they all appeared like prepubescent teens on a pajama party talking about their first, likewise prepubescent, boyfriends.

The stupid ad is not, however, totally bereft of any merit or redeeming value. If anything, it could serve as excellent material, for the government's campaign against the use of illegal drugs.

* * *

Props up to PDI for devoting a page of their paper yesterday to an alternative universe front page. The whole page was written in Español, with the headline saying it all: "Viva el Rey!" The paper's mascot "Torito" is introduced in the page's ear. It also had a picture of what appears to be the Rizal Monument in Luneta, only that the man immortalized in bronze is not Rizal, but somebody who appears to be a Spanish conquistador on his horse. Yesterday, by the way, was Independence Day.

Don't Panic

All the important numbers are in. Although two of the numbers are still unofficial, they were pried out from rather credible sources. If the numbers and my math turn out to be correct, then, starting next Tuesday, I should be able to enjoy, at least, another year of fear, terror, and doubt. Not necessarily in that order.

So tomorrow, I shall again witness, and participate in, one of the most disorganized and chaotic activities ever designed by man - registration at Malcolm Hall.

Don't get me wrong. There is a line. It just somehow degenerates into one big mass of people converging at the Office of the College Secretary a few minutes before 8 am. This, in a place were lines are supposedly "sacred," where people are studying rules which apply to all!

I am not really hoping for any major miracle. I am resigned to the fact that the college will probably produce two more presidents before they do anything about this mess. But I am hoping that tomorrow, people will exhibit some common decency, and just fucking fall in line.

Erratum

I mentioned the other day that the vehicle, owned by a provincial governor, that was blown to kingdom come was a Hummer H3, which costs, at least, US$29,500.00 or Php1.56M.

I was wrong on two counts.

First, the vehicle was a Hummer H2 - not a Hummer H3. Second, it costs, at least, US$53,855.00 or Php2.85M - not a paltry Php1.56M.

My bad.

Abracadabra

Gloria berated DepEd OIC Fe Hidalgo the other day, for presenting numbers on classroom shortage in the public schools, which, while true, are significantly different from how the Malacanang-resident saw them, or wanted them to appear.

Hidalgo said she used the pupil-classroom ratio of 45 to 1 in her report. This prompted the President to raise her voice as she told the acting education secretary that they had previously agreed to use the ratio of 100 to 1.

If anything, Gloria's ranting and raving clearly shows what everyone else in this country knows - that Assumption-bred Gloria was never, ever enrolled in a public elementary or high school in this country, and therefore, has no idea whatsoever about what she is talking about.

I also have no clue as to where they came up with this so-called "two-shift policy," or who came up with it. I'm pretty sure Gloria did not get it from Assumption because it is not implemented there - or any other private school, for that matter. I don't know why. Maybe because the shifts are pedagogically unsound, and are actually detrimental to the students' health and safety, but that's just a wild guess. The government, apparently, doesn't care, as long as it can show that it is implementing measures to meet, albeit virtually, the classroom shortage.

Yesterday, a provincial governor's vehicle was bombed. The governor survived but his two aides were killed. I wasn't really paying too much attention to the news, until the governor's lawyer announced to the nation what the vehicle was. It was a Hummer H3. You know, the one that would set you back, at least, US$29,500.00 (or Php1.56M). Actually, I think I'll get one later today.

(One dollar = 52.85 pesos)

Stories and Tall Tales

I have it.

I was at the Power Plant Mall last night to meet Weng and her sister. After spending a couple of hours doing nothing but walk behind them, I decided to check out Fully Booked.

I was pleasantly surprised to find an open copy of John Irving's latest novel Until I Find You. Incidentally, yesterday was the release date of the book's paperback edition in the United States, so I did not expect to find one here this soon. I was about to ask the staff for another copy, when one of them walked towards me, carrying among others, the only remaining copy of the book in the store. Hooray.

The book is surprisingly thick. It turns out that, at over 800 pages, it is Irving's longest novel to date. I'll probably start reading it later tonight, as I only have roughly two weeks left, before all leisure reading gets suspended until after late October.

From the academic dishonesty department: the writers of Smallville and Terminator are looking for the person who came up with the idea of plagiarizing their stories, coming up with an unspeakably stupid Smallville-meets-Terminator storyline, and calling it Captain Barbell. There is no word yet as to whether or not Mars Ravelo has started spinning in his grave.

Dear Joe

My inbox currently has an item with the subject "Joe d' Mango Story." It is supposedly Joe's own story - his own "love problem." It is basically the same sappy third-party story that he has written about countless times in the past (not that I read them), only this time, the man, or the mango, is actually involved.

I do not know what makes the venerable Joe qualified to give advice to all these semi-suicidal, presumably, otherwise normal people, that all of them, for all these years, go to him for help. Why not, for instance, write to Xerex Xaviera instead? I hear he also writes about other people's "love problems."

In my opinion, one does not need go further than our laws to solve these problems. For instance, in the Revised Penal Code, you will find:

Art. 247. Death or physical injuries inflicted under exceptional circumstances. — Any legally married person who having surprised his spouse in the act of committing sexual intercourse with another person, shall kill any of them or both of them in the act or immediately thereafter, or shall inflict upon them any serious physical injury, shall suffer the penalty of destierro.

If he shall inflict upon them physical injuries of any other kind, he shall be exempt from punishment.

Nobody could have said it any better. The person who came up with this provision is a freaking genius. While this may not solve all kinds of "love problems" (the courts will probably construe "sexual intercourse" strictly, eliminating a host of other similar exciting acts from the provision's coverage), it's still sounds much better than all that "letting go" crap.

Freedom! Forever!

Remember, remember, the 5th of November
The Gunpowder Treason and plot;
I know of no reason why Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.

Yes, I just watched the film (on dibidi, of course) last weekend. Better late than never. It's so good and so timely, that all Filipinos should be required by law to watch it. "People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people." Now that's a tagline. Definitely, way better than "A brutal murder. A brilliant killer. A cop who can't resist the danger."

Dito ako may kapayapaan
Dito ang buhay ko'y may katuturan
Dito sa piling ng aking bayan
Kapwa'y paglilingkuran

I also discovered last Friday that SALIGAN has a "branch" over at Naga City. Cool. Now I know that there is more than one way of becoming a starving professional in Naga. You see, I realize more and more each day that this Makati corporate shit is not for me. Right now, I'm sticking with it only because it pays the bills. Loving it? You have got to be kidding me.

I guess it's the promdi in me. There's still nothing like being home before Mike Enriquez' funny voice startles the living crap out of everybody who's watching the news. Or going to work without having to endure the horrible traffic. And the more horrible body odor of the guy standing right next to you. On a cramped train (think Amazing Race). And there is something to be said about living in a place where your home is within walking distance of practically everything you need; where, for at least one day every year, you can go into anybody's house and eat, gratis, to your heart's, and more importantly, to your stomach's, content. Granting that crime is everywhere these days, I'd still prefer to live in a place where if somebody steals something from you, chances are, you know who the culprit is.

So, one day five years from now, I'll take Raul Gonzales' advice to the Batasan 5, and head for the hills once more. Yup. Sounds like a plan.

Quote of the Day

I can only please one person a day.
Today is not your day.
Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

Now Showing

PDI editorial cartoon, 17 May 2006

Of Myths and Sisyphus

I noticed that I haven't come up with any interesting post for quite some time now. For convenience, I'll just blame it on the mind-numbing effects of reading volumes of the SCRA. I had, in fact, picked up a book as early as last March that I vowed to read over the break - which I did - if only to break the monotony of reading nothing but seedy stuff about petitioners and appellants, and a bunch wherefores for the past year. The book, by the way, is some guy's autobiographical account of his first year at Harvard Law.

Lately, I have been spending my lucid moments trying to explain to an American counterpart what we poor, backward Asians need, to start working on his project. Despite my sheer brilliance and eloquence, I cannot help but feel for Sisyphus everytime I talk to the guy. Somehow, he was able to make "going around in circles" an art form. And he has mastered it.

And what's all the fuss about the Da Vinci Code anyway? Everybody who's got a stick up his ass is ranting and raving and asking the MTRCB to ban the film from the country. News flash, ladies and gentlemen, it's a work of fiction. It's a documentary in the same sense that How to Make an American Quilt is an instructional video. Come on! People watch GMA's and ABS-CBN's attempts at entertainment on TV everyday. You don't see people booking flights to Saladin, do you?

Speaking of Saladin, this TV formula of characters who get separated, and who futilely try to find one another their whole lives, where after a generation, by some stroke of luck, they end up within two feet of each other, but somehow, for some stupid and utterly unbelievable reason, the idiots still don't see each other, is getting really annoying. Yes, I know that men with magical powers don't really live in some magical land, but that's just the point. There is a limit to how long I can suspend disbelief. I'm willing to believe that a half-naked Katrina Halili has magical powers, but there is no way that I would buy that daughter-leaves-while-mother-looks-away bullshit. It's old. And it's crap.

Strike Three

The decision on PP1017 came out yesterday, and the Inquirer has characterized the ruling as "the third slap on Ms Arroyo by the tribunal." Ouch.

IT EVOKED shades of Ferdinand Marcos' martial law edict.

The Supreme Court yesterday declared unconstitutional the arrests of protesters, the forcible breakup of rallies, and the raid on a newspaper office that were carried out by security forces in accordance with President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo's proclamation declaring a state of emergency in February.

Voting 11-3, the court upheld the power of Ms Arroyo to declare a state of emergency and call on the Armed Forces to suppress lawless violence under Presidential Proclamation No. 1017. At the same time, however, the tribunal ruled as illegal a clause in PP 1017 giving herself authority to issue decrees.

This is the third time in three weeks that the high court found GMA and her minions violating the people's most basic rights, enshrined in the Constitution that she desperately wants to change (Gee, I wonder why). At least, this time, she can sleep knowing that the voting was not unanimous unlike the previous two (14-0 and 13-0). Nevermind hara-kiri, if this was Baseball, she would have already struck out. Swinging.

Broken Arrow

ABS-CBN has reported that the PEP Test Review Center has threatened to bolt the UAAP.

The De La Salle University (DLSU) administration on Thursday threatened to break away from the University Athletics Association of the Philippines (UAAP) following the one-year suspension imposed on the school for fielding two ineligible basketball players, DZMM reported.

And I thought it would only be for one season. No more lining up for tickets, forever!

Incidentally, a regular poster on various internet fora, managed to dig up a CHED Memorandum Order from 2003 regarding "Precautionary Measures In Accepting/Enrolling Students with PEPT Documents." It was issued "in consonance with the advisory from the [DepEd], that a number of unscrupulous individuals were found submitting falsified documents to gain admission in college."

The signatory? A certain Rolando Ramos Dizon.

Hope Springs Eternal

When it rains, it pours. PDI has reported that the Supreme Court has declared Gloria's Calibrated Preemptive Response unconstitutional.

THE SUPREME Court has declared as unconstitutional the Calibrated Preemptive Response (CPR) policy of the government but said that Batas Pambansa 88 or the Public Assembly Act was legal.

Voting 13-0, the high court ordered the Department of Interior and Local Government to strictly implement Section 15 of BP880.

The CPR bans street rallies without permits and gives the government the authority to deal with protesters accordingly.

Section 15 provides that: “Every city and municipality in the country shall within six months after the effectivity of this Act establish or designate at least one suitable ‘freedom park’ or mall in their respective jurisdictions which, as far as practicable, shall be centrally located within the poblacion where demonstrations and meetings may be held at any time without the need of any prior permit.”

The SC voted 13-0, barely a week after they voted 14-0 against EO 464. Wow. Basted na naman. At the rate Gloria is going, she is going to set a record of sorts for most number of manifestly unconstitutional orders and/or policies struck down unanimously by the Supreme Court.

I am sure that inspite of the unanimous vote, some moron from Malacañang is going to say that they are going to ask the high court to reconsider. Well, good luck to you.

Letters

What follows is a letter sent by a certain Dennis L. Reyes from Torrance, CA to the PDI. It is, by far, the best letter to the editor that I have ever read. I am publishing it here in toto.

I DON’T understand why people are afraid of Charter change. It offers the best opportunity for us to install the best and the brightest Filipino as our eternal leader.

In fact, instead of shifting to a parliamentary form of government, why don’t we just become a monarchy, with Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo as the queen -- or the empress, if you will. This will fulfill the dreams of Apo Marcos about a Philippine Maharlika. This will also bring us back to the glorious years of kings and queens, of France’s Marie Antoniette, of Russia’s czars and czarinas during the Romanov dynasty.

Then we can grant the poor royal titles so that their lives will be uplifted. We can call them knights or dukes or duchesses and their shanties will be referred to as castles or manors. This way Charter change can solve the poverty of our people.

Another reason for us to support Charter change is that it has the support of Ms Arroyo, who talks to the “Lord” as she talked to Pope John Paul before he died. Ms Arroyo is the Philippines’ Joan of Arc. By giving us Ms Arroyo and her knights of traditional politicians, the Lord shows that he loves Filipinos. Ms Arroyo is the will of the Lord. Nobody should contest the will of the Lord.

So everyone should support Charter change. It’s our only salvation from all our problems. It’s the bullet that a man with brain cancer needs in his head.

Ms Arroyo said so. Has she lied to us before?

There's Always Next Year

By now, everybody should have already heard that those cheaters from the PEP Test Review Center along Taft have been suspended from participation in all events in the UAAP. From UBelt.com:

The University Athletic Association of the Philippines (UAAP) has suspended De La Salle University for one year—in Season 69—for negligence as regards the spurious academic documents of two members of its men’s varsity basketball team.

“After due deliberation and in the interest of the league, the board with all the members present and in accordance with its rules and regulation[s] by a unanimous vote decided to suspend [the] De La Salle University,” the UAAP board ruled.

Furthermore: “By three fourths vote of its members qualified to vote in accordance with its rules[,] the board decided that [the] De La Salle University shall be suspended for a period of one year effective UAAP Season 69 and shall cover all sports events.”

This means that we all have to wait for one more season before we can unfurl any banner or poster, making any reference whatsoever to the government-administered PEP Test. Admittedly, there wouldn't be as much fun without those idiots, but at least, we can now be sure that we don't have to line up for hours for tickets next season.

Thank You. Try Again.

I am interrupting regular programming to happily announce to the world that Executive Order 464 has been declared unconstitutional by the Supreme Court.

You might remember that Gloria issued EO 464 to bar officials from the executive, military, and police from appearing in legislative inquiries without her consent. While she has softened on her position and allowed officials to appear before confirmation hearings and those related to the passage of the 2006 budget bill, she has stubbornly withheld her consent in all inquiries on various illegal and criminal activities which tend to establish her complicity therein (see wiretapping scandal and the fertilizer fund scam).

Now that it has been declared unconstitutional, I can't wait to see the face of the first lucky bastard who gets invited to Congress for a little chit-chat.

Of Mice and Men

Change of plans. The Harry Roque Funfest did not push through last Saturday. Everybody was there waiting to undergo their final rites, only to be disappointed, because no proctor - and no exam - arrived. In local parlance, in-indian kami.

As always, when shit hits the fan, you blame the PC. Harry has apparently already sent the questions via email to his staff, who for one reason or another, was not able to receive it (fortuitous event perhaps?). That sound that you hear is the sound of all those years of believing that email is infinitely more dependable than the Philpost going down the drain. Of course, I am being sarcastic.

In other news, I have finally given in. I have resisted it for as long as I possibly could, but alas, I am but human. I now have a Friendster account.

Big Time

Gloria has finally made it.

No, she has not yet successfully proclaimed herself dictator-for-life. She has also not yet managed to tinker with the Constitution to make it suit her needs. Nor has she been able to finally stifle all forms of dissent, muzzle the press, or cow the opposition to submission.

She was, however, the subject of the New York Times' editorial yesterday entitled "Dark Days for Philippine Democracy." The New York Times.

Mrs. Arroyo is no Ferdinand Marcos, at least not yet. But this onetime reformer is reviving bad memories of crony corruption, presidential vote-rigging and intimidation of critical journalists. Unless the Philippine Congress and courts find ways to rein in her increasingly authoritarian tendencies, democracy itself may be in danger.

Yeah, baby!

I'm still waiting for Raul Gonzales to make some wiseass remark about the Times. I also can't wait to finally hear Gloria sing:

Start spreading the news
I'm leaving today...

One L

This Saturday at 5PM, I would be saying goodbye to good ol' Malcolm Hall.

Hopefully, only for two months.

There will be one last mental torture session before we officially call it a semester - and a year. It's really hard to concentrate on what needs to be done at this point, when you are practically counting the days and hours down, before you finally find yourself mercifully emancipated, albeit temporarily, from all the horror and drudgery incident to this unique form of self-imposed struggle and hard labor.

I was, suprisingly, still able to find (though barely) the impetus to prepare for the upcoming weekend, in spite of the wretched Crim 2 finals that we all had to suffer last Saturday. For this weekend, I decided to just reread Jurado's reviewer, and let the chips fall where they may. It wouldn't be as comprehensive as rereading Tolentino, but fuck it, I am not going to read IV Tolentino again. I am also almost sure that it's a lot better than not reviewing at all.

So, on Saturday at 5PM, I will use everything in my power to find a way to celebrate this "momentous occasion." There's not really much to it when you look at the big picture, but when you survived the last year the way I did, by surviving it one recit, one case, one day at a time, every single day is a milestone. So, I will eat. I will drink. And I sure as hell will be merry.

Eloquence

If I Only Had a Brain

Quinito Henson, a Lasallite through and through, averred in his column yesterday that "Arana has accumulated 24 units of failures and is not academically qualified to reenroll at La Salle."

Well, there goes all those AHEAD tutorial billboards. Evidently, Arana needed tutorial services. Badly. But, come on, they might as well have asked the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz to endorse their services. It's just like asking Bembol Roco to endorse a brand of shampoo.

It is assumed, nevertheless, that Arana passed all his dancing courses at DLRT with flying colors.

Felonies for Dummies

Who would have thought that it was possible to learn Criminal Law in three weeks? Yep, we basically breezed through crimes against persons, personal liberty and security, property, chastity, and honor, and criminal negligence all within the last three weeks of the semester. We actually learned theft all the way down to criminal negligence in one meeting.

After a week of trying, I was finally able to finish reading Reyes' commentary on the RPC last Sunday morning (about 1:30 AM). Whether I actually learned anything from it is yet to be seen. My pace was hardly inspiring. On Monday night, I was able to read from robbery to brigandage; then on Tuesday, theft to fraudulent insolvency; on Wednesday, i was able to start on estafa and finished estafa through abuse of confidence; on Thursday, estafa through deceit to other deceits. I called in sick last Friday and just rolled - chattel mortgage all the way to white slave trade. Then, on Friday night, I finished abduction and all the provisions under Title XII, and on Saturday all the way to Sunday morning, finished the rest of the oh-so-lovely commentary on punishable acts and omissions under this jurisdiction.

So, if ever I pass the exam on Saturday, which by the way would constitute 60% of my final grade, I can probably muster enough mojo to pass myself off as an authority on crime and punishment, and assert my knowledge of specific felonies, such as say, illegal use of uniforms or insignia.

Blogging Barbie

All Work and No Play is Bad

It has just been reported that the Sony PlayStation 3 will not be released until November.

TOKYO--(UPDATE) Sony will put off the release of its much awaited PlayStation 3 machine until November from its planned spring debut because of delays in finalizing its next-generation disk technology, the company said Wednesday.

Now, that would have been sad, if I was liquid enough to buy a console on its original release date. As it turns out, I may just have enough moolah by November to get me one in time for Christmas.

Happy Holidays!

Muchas Grasas

I don't know about you, but I think the society pages are a load of crap.

I say it's useless. Granted that the top 5% richest families in the country read this section before they do Pugad Baboy, just imagine how many trees PDI and the other papers can save by not printing this section altogether. You see, the rich folks - or as Maurice Arcache puts it, "all the beautiful people" - can spew out hot air among each other, without involving us innocent civilians, since they all live within three blocks of each other anyway.

Que horror, palanggas! Unfortunately, this will not alleviate the pain and suffering of society writers, which may be caused by restraining their propensity to list the names of these uber-rich people and their current paramours. Surely, not only Class A folks deserve to know who, for instance, the "civic-minded hotshot personalities from the business, arts and culture sectors" are, while using adjectives such as "adorable," "world traveler and renowned," "popular couple," and one of my favorites, "ultra glam" in the process. All in one sentence.

If these pages have a redeeming value, it's this: these pages can explain why the rich become richer and the poor become poorer, better than any investigative journalist's work can. You see, you and I have about the same chances as a snowball's in hell, in having a "seven-course degustation dinner at The Tivoli" with one of these "gorgeous" and "stylish" society folks. You can imagine your chances in dating, much less marrying one of them.

So you see, palanggas, the "chi-chi pack" keep the wealth amongst themselves. It doesn't go out of the family.

P.S. Seriously though, during these times, when people line up for days for a chance to win prizes from television shows and escape poverty in the process, showing off what rich people do with their spare time is just plain tasteless.

Where's the Babble?

Tonight, at 7:35 PM, Red Bull Barako will play its first game in the PBA Philippine Cup vs. perennial favorite San Miguel Beer. For some people, myself included, the game itself will be somewhat overshadowed by Rich Alvarez' reunion with Enrico Villanueva, Larry Fonacier and Paolo Bugia, who for the first time since 2002, will be donning the same jerseys. Just in case you just crawled out from under a rock, these players (except Bugia, who was injured that year), together with Wesley Gonzales and LA Tenorio, formed the core of the 2002 UAAP champions Ateneo Blue Eagles.

Gonzales, incidentally, will be playing for the other side tonight, after a mid-season trade with Airhead21 which brought him to SMB, where he joins fellow Atenean Olsen Racela. Tonight's game will thus feature all six active Blue Eagles in the PBA.

Which begs the question: what the hell was BJ Manalo smoking when he said

My dream, even as a kid, was to play professional basketball. In my mind, Ateneo is the school to go if you dream to become successful in the corporate world, but not to achieve in pro basketball.

Wow, mali.

Ignorance is Strength

If you have read George Orwell's 1984, I am sure that (1) unlike 99% of the viewing public, you know why the show is called Pinoy Big Brother, and (2) Supreme Editor-in-Chief Lomibao's antics are starting to sound like Orwell's Minitrue to you.

Minitrue, or the Ministry of Truth, is one of Oceania's four ministries. It is:

The propaganda arm of Oceania's regime. Minitrue controls political literature, the Party organization, and the telescreens. Winston Smith works for Minitrue, "rectifying" historical records and newspaper articles to make them conform to IngSoc's most recent pronouncements, thus making everything that the Party says true.

If we are indeed living in Orwell's 1984, Minitrue would be headed by, naturally, Toting "Fake CD" Bunye. Supreme Editor-in-Chief Lomibao, on the other hand, would probably be one of its most trusted agents.

Joke Time

As if we need more proof to show that Gloria is truly out of touch with the harsh realities of life for the majority of the Filipinos, she just decided to explain why brain drain is a good thing.

WHILE most observers agree that Filipinos are leaving the country in droves for lack of job opportunities here, President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo said that the worker exodus was propelled by strong overseas demand for their talents and not by desperate conditions at home.

Maybe she's right. Maybe Filipino doctors are not really desperate. Maybe there is just a very strong demand for Filipino nurses abroad.

If nothing else, what she said just shows you that there is not a single OFW in the Macapagal-Arroyo clan.

What's in a name?

It's now in the hands of the Supreme Court. Let us all pray that they would have the balls to decide the case on the merits, rather than dismiss it outright on ground of mootness (which is precisely why Gloria lifted it in the first place, dummy). Otherwise, as Drilon noted, "the media and freedom of the press may become academic."

While the President has the power to impose martial law or suspend the privilege of the writ of habeas corpus, Gloria has not resorted to either, because they are subject to the review of Congress and/or the Supreme Court. This is one of the many safeguards enshrined in the 1987 Constitution after the nation's collective experience with Martial Law. Gloria, on two previous occasions, resorted to the third commander-in-chief power which says "when it becomes necessary, she may call on the Armed Forces to prevent or suppress lawless violence or rebellion." This power has no "expiry date", and is generally beyond the power of review by the Supreme Court.

Just to refresh our memories, here are the two previous instances when Gloria called on the AFP:

In a May 2001 case involving an attempt by supporters of ousted President Joseph Estrada to march on Malacañang, the court held that the issue had become academic after Ms Arroyo rescinded her declaration of a state of rebellion.

However, Bernas recalled that the court dealt Ms Arroyo a setback in the Oakwood mutiny case in 2003 when it ruled even after the President had lifted a similar proclamation that a state of rebellion “cannot diminish or violate constitutionally protected rights.”

As Bernas noted yesterday

These two decisions clarify the meaning and the legal consequences of a declaration of a "state of rebellion." Such declaration adds no new powers. Our President, zealous guardian that she is of the "rule of law," accepts that clarification. But, desiring to assume powers which a declaration of a state of rebellion does not give, she avoided declaring a "state of rebellion." Instead, she proclaimed "a state of national emergency" to let her minions go their merry way. Beautiful!

There are innumerable words in the English dictionary. Merriam-Webster Online lists five synonyms for the word rebellion alone, i.e. revolution, uprising, revolt, insurrection and mutiny, which Gloria has not yet used as a euphemism for her own personal state of paranoia and panic. Now, unless the SC decides this controversy with finality, we may yet see this country under all different kinds of states, with nothing but Gloria's imagination to limit the possibilities.

That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet.

2nd Generation

This is definitely one of the better Jordan commercials that I have seen. Not bad for a guy who has not been playing competitive ball since 2003.

Brokeback Mountain, Again

Huwag, Koya!

In what is fast turning out to be another sick form of entertainment, people are watching Kuya's house to see how Roxy is going to humiliate Rico today. Not that I blame the girl. From what we can surmise from what ABS-CBN airs, either (1) Rico is truly, madly, deeply in love with Roxy, or (2) Rico is a numb idiot who doesn't know when to quit.

Come on, how many times does a girl have to say no? In fact, she is not merely saying no, she is saying, pleading, begging, crying no every freaking day. Somehow, you think this guy has enough sense in him to finally get it. But, of course he doesn't. It gets so utterly pathetic that last weekend, he gets half the housemates' votes. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a far better mandate than Erap's in 2001.

Getting dumped is bad enough (not that I know), but getting dumped on national television? For every single day for all voyeurs to see? It's humiliating. In fact, I am getting humiliated for him. Somebody has to stop all this. I say, ABS-CBN must show some pity and evict the man out of the house. Now.

Deja Vu All Over Again

UP Professor Florin T. Hilbay has made a curious observation regarding the text of Proclamation 1017, declaring a state of national emergency.

On Sept. 21, 1972, President Marcos issued Proclamation 1081. The first paragraph read:

NOW, THEREFORE, I, FERDINAND E. MARCOS, President of the Philippines by virtue of the power vested upon me by Article VII, Sec. 10, Paragraph (2) of this Constitution, do hereby place the entire Philippines as defined in Article I, Sec. 1 of the Constitution under martial law and, in my capacity as their Commander-In-Chief, do hereby command the Armed Forces of the Philippines, to maintain law and order throughout the Philippines, prevent or suppress all forms of lawless violence as well as any act of insurrection or rebellion and to enforce obedience to all the laws and decrees, orders and regulations promulgated by me personally or upon my direction.

The italicized portion of the above quote is contained, verbatim, in Ms Arroyo's proclamation minus the declaration of martial law and the suspension of the privilege of the writ of habeas corpus.

Creepy.

After the 1986 snap elections, the CBCP issued a "POST-ELECTION STATEMENT." What follows is an excerpt from that document, and sadly, it still applies after all these years.

Government Based on the Polls . According to moral principles, a government that assumes or retains power through fraudulent means has no moral basis. For such an access to power is tantamount to a forcible seizure and cannot command the allegiance of the citizenry. The most we can say then, about such a government, is that it is a government in possession of power. But admitting that, we hasten to add: Because of that very fact, that same government itself has the obligation to right the wrong it is founded on. It must respect the mandate of the people. This is precondition for any reconciliation.

Response in Faith . If such a government does not of itself freely correct the evil it has inflicted on the people then it is our serious moral obligation as a people to make it do so.

We are not going to effect the change we seek by doing nothing, by sheer apathy. If we did nothing we would be party to our own destruction as a people. We would be jointly guilty with the perpetrators of the wrong we want righted.

Twenty Years

"We Americans like to think we taught the Filipinos democracy well, tonight they are teaching the world."

- Bob Simon, an anchorman at Columbia Broadcasting System (CBS)

Fear Factor

I just learned that classes have been suspended at all levels today, as militant groups and Marcos-era street parliamentarians are gearing up for various rallies all over Metro Manila to be held today, partly in commemoration of EDSA and partly to spite Gloria. And all this might just be a prelude to the big day tomorrow, which just happens to be the anniversary of the "People Power Revolution" which toppled the Marcos dictatorship 20 years ago.

Since Gloria and her cohorts have decided on a "low-key" commemoration of one of the greatest events in Philippine history, ratiocinating that "the real meaning of Edsa resides in the national memory and in the hearts and minds of every Filipino and not in pomp and ceremony or rhetoric," probably out of fear more than anything else, people have decided to commemorate it with all the proper fanfare that it deserves anyway, with or without the Government's participation. Later today, people will be marching down Ayala Ave from Buendia, to Ninoy's statue at the corner of Ayala and Paseo de Roxas, just outside this building, where they will hold a short program afterwards. Former President Cory Aquino will be in attendance.

We have all heard the Garci tapes. We all know what happened during the last national elections. Now they have the temerity to consider the possibility of declaring a state of emergency? What the fuck? Are you all fucking serious?

Edited to add: Gloria just declared a state of emergency on national television. I have to go hide now.

Brokeback Mountain

Unfortunately, The Judges Stole It

We call it lutong macao in the vernacular. I am no Sixer fan, but it was obvious that the judges lowballed Andre Iguodala in last night's Slam Dunk Contest.

Even though it was obvious to the crowd that Philly's swingman delivered the best dunk of the night in the first round, catching an Allen Iverson pass off the back of the glass and gliding under the backboard and rim for a reverse-slam on the other side. And then running off the court and down the tunnel as if to say it was over.

Iguodala was gracious, nevertheless. After all, it was not as if Nate Robinson, the eventual winner, did nothing to bring the house down.

That's when Nate-Rob, showing character and persistence, got himself back in the competition, walking across the court and handing Spud Webb his old Atlanta jersey No. 4. With Webb in his new duds, Robinson caught a bounce pass from the onetime dunk champ and jumped over all 5 feet, 7 inches of him for a spectacular jackknife slam, finishing in a squat that he held for effect.

But Iguodala should have won. And they should not let a contestant try and miss about 200 dunk attempts before the guy finally nails one.

The Full Monty

Well, not quite.

HAVING set off the alarm when he walked through a metal detector of the Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA), a British passenger quickly stripped down to his boxers and socks before walking through the machine again.

It was reported that the tasteless "strip act [irked] NAIA officials." Apparently, they were neither irked enough to demonstrate to Dirk Diggler a sampling of the PNP's interrogation techniques, or evil enough to suggest that he sign a talent management contract with Jojo Veloso.

There is nothing on the record to show if the Brit is an imbecile or a moron.

Para Kay Weng

Mangyari Lamang

mangyari lamang ay tumayo
ang mga nagmamahal
nang makita ng lahat
ang kagandahan ng mukha ng pag-ibig
ipamalas ang tamis
ng malalim na pagkakaunawaan
sa mga malabo ang paningin

mangyari lamang ay tumayo rin
ang mga nagmahal at nasawi
nang makita ng lahat
ang mga sugat ng isang bayani
ipadama ang pait ng kabiguan
habang ipinagbubunyi
ang walang katulad na kagitingan
ng isang nagtataya

mangyari lamang ay tumayo
ang mga nangangambang magmahal
nang makita ng lahat
ang kilos ng isang bata
ipamalas ang katapatang damdamin
na pilit ikinukubli
ng pusong lumaki sa mga enkanto at diwata

mangyari lamang ay tumayo
ang mga nagmahal, minahal, at iniwan
ngunit handa pa ring magmahal
nang makita ng lahat ang yaman ng karanasan
ipamalas ang mga katotohanang nasaksihan
nang maging makahulugan
ang mga paghahagulgol sa dilim

at mga nanatiling nakaupo
mangyari lamang ay dahan-dahang tumalilis
papalabas sa nakangangang pinto
umuwi na kayo
at sumbatan ang mga magulang
na nagpalaki ng isang halimaw

at sa lahat ng naiwang nakatayo
mangyari lamang ay hagkan ang isa't isa
at yakapin ang mga sugatan
mabuhay tayong lahat
na nagsisikap na makabalik
sa ating pinagmulan

manatiling masaya
at higit sa lahat magpatuloy
sa pagmamahal

14 pebrero 1990
rico abelardo

Method

Here's to the nine other people who finished Method with me. That, boys and girls, means two less units to worry about in the years ahead. While that may eventually prove to be the shortest semester in what hopefully will not be a too-abbreviated (like what the appellant was wearing in People v. Aparici, 52 OG 249) stay at Malcolm, it was not exactly the least taxing. You see, there is a perfectly logical reason, why all but ten people dropped, or did not take, the course. We are optimistic though, that the professor will be more forgiving this time around (last semester, he passed a grand total of three people in the finals).

74 Dreams Crushed

So the PDI headline screamed yesterday.

I really don't know which is worse. The prevalent state of misery that would make thousands line up for three days to get a chance at a quick buck, or the utter horror of knowing that most of them are willing to literally trample upon others just to make sure they get that chance first.

In any case, there still is good news. Perhaps, more importantly, there still is hope.

Move People Better, Safer. To Their Maker.

Passengers of a Victory Liner bus on its way to Olongapo City have been victims of robbery for the second time in two months (the third bus was supposedly bound for Pasay City). Just recently, five (5) criminals boarded the bus on three (3) separate places along Olongapo-Gapan road and were able to consummate the crime, presumably after the last goon boarded the bus at Tipo, Bataan.

While this is a statement on the pathetic state of law and order in this country, it is also an illustration of either the utter stupidity, or sheer apathy to the safety of its passengers and employees, of Victory Liner management. I have no idea how many passengers or employees the company is willing to have shot at or stabbed, before they decide to stop taking in passengers outside of its terminals.

While they have token security measures in place in some of their terminals, this does not amount to anything, if the bus takes in passengers immediately after it leaves its terminals, as what happens most of the time. Any idiot who wants to mug its passengers would simply wait for the bus along EDSA and render nugatory all its feeble attempts at security. It's really that simple.

I miss my family, and I want to visit them more often than I have. But, I don't think that I am willing to risk my life doing so, more so knowing that the bus company who makes its money off its passengers doesn't even seem to be bothered at all.

Good Riddance

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright.
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light.
And, somewhere men are laughing, and little children shout,

but there is no joy in Mudville --
mighty Casey has struck out.

Er, One Big Fight?

Larry Fonacier set a career-high in points scored for the second time in two nights after scoring 22 in Game 3 two nights ago, and 25 last night, both Red Bull Barako wins.

Rookie Larry Fonacier again led Red Bull's offense with 25 points, his second straight career-high output in the series, but it was Villanueva who made noise in the down the stretch. The Barakos' star center scored 10 of his 21 points in the fourth quarter and was actually responsible for the his team’s final 12 points in the game.

You can't help but be happy for Fonacier, who most people tought would never play the game again, after sustaining an ACL injury a couple of games into his last season for the Ateneo in the UAAP, two years ago. Now, he and fellow Ateneo alum Enrico Villanueva are carrying the load for the Red Bull Barako in the PBA (Paolo Bugia plays off the bench). Now, if they can only get Rich Alvarez and Wesley Gonzales...

He was probably the only recent Blue Eagle of note that did not earn as much ire from the other side, as some of his more colorful teammates, say, Villanueva or Gonzales. This is notable, considering the fact that his two successive blocks on Mac Cardona in the 2002 UAAP Finals not only sent DLRT packing in Game 1, but also sold a lot of newspapers along Katipunan the next day, as a perfect shot of one of the blocks made it to the front page of the Inquirer, no less.

LOA

The Manila Standard has reported that DLRT will be filing for an LOA next season.

THE fate of La Salle, which has made public its intention of taking a leave of absence in the University Athletic Association of the Philippines (UAAP), will be known next month.

La Salle executive vice president Carmelita Quebengco said in her letter to the academic community last November that the planned leave of absence from the UAAP next season will help the school institute internal reforms.

Sources said top officials of the UAAP will start reviewing tomorrow the findings of a five-member fact-finding body formed two months ago.

Let me guess. One of the reforms that will most likely be instituted is the non-admission of high school dropouts and PEP test flunkers. Really. This means that all the posters and banners making a reference to stupidity and imbecility, not to mention falsification, fraud and all other criminal ventures, will have to wait another year.

Ernie Baron, 65

As reported by the PDI:

POPULAR radio and television broadcaster Ernie Baron died Monday morning from a heart attack, GMA Network radio station dzBB reported. He was 65.

The report said Baron was declared dead on arrival at the Muntinlupa Medical Center where he was brought by family members.

Doctors at the hospital were quoted as saying that Baron's heart attack was caused by complications from his diabetes.

Indulge me for being sappy, for the man had made a rather indelible mark in our lives. Of course, this was before I realized that watching his shows is one of the greatest forms of entertainment ever - it was in fact so entertaining it was almost perverse. Well, it was the greatest, until Eli Soriano and the INC decided to put up a sorry war on national television and give perverse a whole new meaning altogether.

In what would eventually turn out as one of the more significant blunders of our high school lives, we initially proposed a research on Baron's brainchild - the ernyform - a pyramid contraption that supposedly harnesses the universe's "bio-cosmic energy." Our feeble high school minds had, at least, the sense to look it up in all the reference books we can get our hands on. The fact that we were not able to find any entry on such should have already given us half-wits a clue. Alas, we are but human.

Needless to say, we eventually submitted another proposal, which in my opinion, turned out to be the lamest science research project ever written by man. How we were able to get past that stage of our lives, and eventually finish college is still a mystery to me.

Requiescat In Pace, Ka Ernie.

Pacquiao Wins

Somehow, the man manages to win a big one, just when the Filipino really needs it most.


God bless you, Mr. Pacquiao.

A Filipino Musical

I am currently listening to Lean: A Filipino Musical. The rock opera, based on the life of martyred '80s youth activist Leandro Alejandro, was written and composed by Gary Granada ten years after Alejandro's death. In 1987, Alejandro died at the age of 27 when half of his face was blasted away by a gunman who pointed his weapon at Alejandro's face and shot him pointblank. The murder remains unsolved to this very day.

The narrative takes us through Lean's social awakening while a student at UP and continues on to his rise as campus activist, his growing prominence in national politics, his incarceration and his tragic death from the gun of an assassin. As his life unfolds we take our own trip back to the past. Marcos in Malacañang, Ninoy Aquino's death, the Snap Elections, People Power at EDSA, Cory Aquino, the massacre at Mendiola. And we hear those near forgotten words and names again. Aktibista, rally, demo, kapit-bisig, makibaka, huwag matakot, arbitrary detention, Ka Tanny, Pepe Diokno, Cory, Cory, Lando Olalia, Eman Lacaba, political detainees, mandaraya, sinungaling, manlilinlang, tuloy ang laban para sa sambayanan.

- Baby A. Gil, Sounds Familiar, The Philippine Star, 4 September 1998

You need no further proof than this that the Filipino is a rather forgetful people. It is no longer amusing to note how, almost 20 years after EDSA, the words mandaraya, sinungaling, manlilinlang still remain significant in our lives.

Hawak ng iilan ang ekonomiya
Hawak ng dayuhan ang ating pulitika
Ang ating kultura ay sa interes nila
Ang ating kaisipan ay nababaog pala!
- Iskolar ng Bayan

I will leave you with Granada's rather militant version of UP Naming Mahal, which even non-UP students would find very stirring.

UP Naming Mahal
Pamantasan ng bayan
Tinig ng masa
ang siyang lagi nang pakikinggan

Malayong lupain
Di kailangang marating
Dito maglilingkod sa bayan natin
Dito maglilingkod sa bayan natin

Silangang mapula
Sagisag magpakailanman
Ating ipaglaban
Laya ng diwa't kaisipan

Humayo't itanghal
Giting, tapang at dangal!
Mabuhay ang lingkod ng taongbayan
Mabuhay ang lingkod ng taongbayan

Relax. See a Movie.

The other day, I overheard two folks on board a UP-Pantranco jeepney talking (actually, one of them was politely trying to look interested, while the other one simply cannot shut up) about a class where the professor discussed the finer points of a proto-nobela. The rather boring and esoteric soliloquy got my attention when the yapping passenger mentioned the movie Mulawin. Apparently, UP professors patronize the Metro Manila Film Festival.

The ranting went thus: Urbana at Felisa is supposed to be a proto-nobela, because there is no plot. Characters come and go, say their lines in between, and never to appear again, for no apparent reason whatsoever. In other words, some elements of the literary work do not make sense. Which perfectly brings us to Mulawin.

In the film, or so the professor supposedly said in class, when Alwina (played by uber-babe Angel Locsin) was stabbed, they immediately brought her to Encantadia, where she can be healed. Yet, when the exact same thing happened to Aguiluz (Annabelle's kid, Ruffa's brod. Yeah, I pity the man, too), nobody thought of bringing the birdboy to fairy land.

It was also mentioned, that when the Mulawin (good birds) went to battle against the Ravena (dirty birds), they went to battle with an imposing troop count of, tada, twenty Mulawin (when was the last time anybody went to battle with twenty men? In the contrast, the folks at Masada were stacked - thay had at least a thousand). Also, while the two lovebirds were at Encantadia, they decided to get married right there and then, for no apparent reason other than the fact that they are at Encantadia. Oh, and meanwhile, the epic battle rages on.

All this, according to the professor, makes this film (which by the way got a rating of A from the Film Ratings Board) a proto-pelikula. I have no clue what it is, but that sounds just right.

Korean Bug

Weng has developed an addiction to Korean movies and miniseries (as have most Filipinos, I guess) after catching Lovers in Paris not so long ago. Her latest object of affection, is the TV miniseries Jewel in the Palace, supposedly a historical drama regarding a bunch of women from the Korean royal family's kitchen crew, whose entire lives are dedicated to, what else, the preparation of kimchi for the Korean royal family. That, and memorizing a bunch of stuff that would make Martha Stewart and any law student proud. Who could have imagined that cutthroat politics in Korea's kitchens, would be so damn interesting to millions of people, centuries down the line? It's amazing, I tell you.

My wife - your run-of-the-mill UPLB graduate and CPA - also spent her weekend watching a marathon of about six or seven Korean movies at home. (Which reminds me, I have to thank all those enterprising Filipinos in Quiapo for providing us with affordable - and region-free - media. Who said the Filipino is on the other side of the digital divide?) On Sunday, just before midnight, I was futilely trying not to divide my attention between People v. Cabrera, 43 Phil 64 and My Wife is a Gangster 2. On this note, I believe I can be excused. There is, after all, much gratuitous violence in that film - which, in my opinion, makes any film watchable more than anything else (see Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill 1 and 2, or anything with the name Tarantino on it).

Just Say No

The question in the essay part of the 2005 LAE, was whether the presidential or the parliamentary system would be better for the country. I wrote that we are not fit to have a parliamentary system of government, given the level of political maturity (immaturity?) of the Filipino. The parliamentary system presumes the existence of a strong party system; our party system is to the word "strong" as the COMELEC is to the word "competent." Our legislators switch parties as often as they do underwear. On this count alone, one should already be impelled to vote NO to any proposed change in the Constitution.

But no, the so-called Consultative Commission had to give us folks more nightmares. They want to hoist upon the people a conditional bill of rights. Of course, they don't call it as such, but what do you make of a provision stating

"No law shall be passed abridging the responsible exercise of the freedom of speech, of expression, or of the press...."

The rules of statutory construction mandate that every word must be given effect. So, what the ConCom is saying is that, you can speak freely, as long as it's exercised responsibly. WTF?

But wait, there's more. They are also proposing that term limits on elective officials be lifted altogether. They also want to do away with the provision banning political dynasties. If these folks would have their way, we better be prepared to see the same family names in the rolls of Congress for the next 100 years.

Or until they decide to change the Constitution again, which I assume will happen sooner than later.

The Year That Was

IT was a year defined by all that was uttered and denied, the comments and cries both tragic and heroic. There were occurrences that escaped words: the aftermath from days of decimation, the passing of a saint among men. Throughout the modern world, it was a time of mourning and of remembrance, of testament and terror. Closer to home, turmoil trapped our thought balloons as we struggled to believe that such strangeness was real. There was a wiretapped conversation-balancing on the tightrope between the legal and the criminal-a televised apology that fostered neither forgiveness nor fancy, and a brightly-hued house that captured the imagination of voyeurs and televiewers.

It was a year of the ambiguous, of heroes and heels, a year redeemed by men and women who broke sports records and showed the world that we're also capable of greatness, given half a chance.

- Ruel S. De Vera, Sunday Inquirer Magazine, 1 January 2006

Pasko 2005

Wake up little darling,
its Christmas morning
The sun is up,
it's time to open all the gifts that you've been given

You had been dreaming,
angels are singing
But now they're gone,
and once again it's time to go on with our lives

Let's hope that the next year will be better than last year
and somehow we'll all get by
And maybe the time will come when we won't have to pretend
to be happy for just a while

World keeps on turning
Fools keep on wishing
And when you wake,
you'll find that everything is not what we dreamed them to be

Wake up little darling,
its Christmas morning
So rise and shine,
let's make the most of happy holidays
Or maybe, i should let you dream for a while longer
wherever's a better place than here...

- Eraserheads, Christmas Morning

The Case of the Killer Robot

A friend and former colleague used The Case of the Killer Robot in his Ethics and Technology class at Ateneo de Naga. The case is basically "a detailed scenario that combines elements of software engineering and computer ethics", and is used primarily for ethics teaching and discussion purposes. The scenario begins with the indictment for manslaughter of a programmer who wrote faulty code that caused the death of a robot operator. The student is supposed to come up with a judgment, based on "different ethical perspectives and theories."

I decided to look at it from a different viewpoint, and here is what I could come up with.

First, Silicon Valley does not fall under Philippine jurisdiction. So, let us assume, arguendo, that the events happened in Philippine soil.

Absent any criminal intent on the part of the programmer Samuels, he can be found guilty of, at most, criminal negligence (Art. 365 Revised Penal Code). If Samuels is found to be criminally liable, then he would also be civilly liable per Art. 100 RPC.

Note that Samuels can argue that the injury was caused "by mere accident without fault or intention of causing it", which, according to the Art 12(4) of the RPC, would exempt him from criminal liability. This is without prejudice to a civil case that may be filed separately against him under Art. 2176 of the Civil Code.

His employer will be liable for the death of Matthews (Art. 2180 CC), unless, it can prove that it exercised the diligence of a good father of the family in hiring and supervising Randy Samuels.

So Ordered

We spent the weekend over at Subic, and I had the chance to browse over some old files and clippings which I conveniently stowed under my bed. I reread Constantino Tejero's two-part article The Making of a Lawyer which ran over two Sundays back in July 1993, in the Sunday Inquirer Magazine.

A few interesting tidbits from the article:

1. In 1993, the tuition fee for ALS is around PhP 9K per semester. It is now closer to PhP 50k. UP's tuition fee barely moved, if at all.
2. ALS's performance in the bar was better than UP's in the early 90's. The topnotchers, however, usually come from UP. These are still true as of last year.
3. UP folks are "smug" as to their counterparts' apparent superior performance in the bar. They did not care then, we still do not care now.

I was happy that I kept that article after all these years, if only to convince myself that whatever it is I am trying to accomplish right now is not a mere passing fancy. Why I decided to do this right here, right now defies logic and basic utilitarian philosophy. It doesn't make sense, moreso if you consider the fact that I am earning more right now that what a new associate will earn five years hence.

Knowing that I made not a few illogical decisions in my life - and that most of them turned out to be right - somehow tempers this seeming ambivalence. It is what makes us human. It is what makes all this, fun.

You see, according to Cocteau's plan I'm the enemy, 'cause I like to think; I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder - "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecued ribs with the side order of gravy fries?" I WANT high cholesterol. I wanna eat bacon and butter and BUCKETS of cheese, okay? I want to smoke Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section. I want to run through the streets naked with green jello all over my body reading playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to, okay, pal?

- Edgar Friendly, Demolition Man

Quality

The project I am working on is currently being continuously harrassed by the firm's Process Group to comply with the latest CMMi requirements. In English, it means that time, effort, and resources are being redirected towards endless meetings, documentation work, and other narcolepsy-inducing tasks that will supposedly enhance the quality of the work product.

It's a freaking scam. The guy who came up with this crap should be shot. If he's already dead, we should exhume his remains and shoot him again and again.

I am pretty sure that my being subjected to constant reminders to complete the requirements within two months has nothing to do with my choleric attitude towards it. Neither does the rather exciting nature of the task - tracking hours, counting defects, measuring variance, and other oh-so-fun stuff - have anything to do with my disposition. I just somehow developed a liking for it, similar to the attachment developed by Garci towards clean and honest elections. The loath came naturally. It is just something that I find to be utterly inconsistent with the core of my being. I couldn't care less if half the world feels as if it's the greatest innovation ever created by man. It is still crap.

Oblation Run

I was reading the news this morning when I suddenly thought, maybe I should've watched the Oblation Run yesterday.


According to the Inquirer:

TWO YOUNG WOMEN WEARING NOTHING BUT masks and wigs yesterday stole the show from 20 male streakers in their "Ritual Dance of the Brave" during the "Oblation Run" at the University of the Philippines in Diliman, Quezon City.

For the first time in its 28-year history, the event featured naked women, who gamely posed for photographers in front of the Oblation Statue at Quezon Hall. They carried posters with the message: "Equal Rights for Women."

The organizer, the UP Alpha Phi Omega (APO) fraternity, quickly denied that it had a hand in the women's surprise appearance. "We have no idea who they are," said the fraternity's media liaison officer, Joselito Narciso Caparino.

Photo courtesy of the Inquirer.

He Who Fights and Runs Away...

From the Shoot-Yourself-In-The-Foot Department:

Joseph Yeo turned an otherwise very good exhibition "dream game" between Ateneo and DLRT last Thursday into something from The Twilight Zone. Or Ultimate Fighting.

The teams were composed of alumni now playing in the PBA and active varsity players. It appeared that both teams wanted to win, despite its billing as a mere exhibition game. It was just another game, before Enrico Villanueva's elbow found Joseph Yeo's shoulder off a rebound play with 10:27 left in the third quarter. Yeo decided to make things exciting by pausing for a second and hitting Villanueva in the face with his forearm. He then promptly ran away. As per PBA rules, Yeo was expectedly thrown out of the game.

PBA commissioner Noli Eala remarked that "[Yeo's] actions will have a big bearing on his eligibility in the draft." He added "We are already studying our options. One, to disqualify him from the (rookie) draft. Two, make him ineligible for some time. Three, let him be drafted then suspend him." Chot Reyes, who coached Ateneo, when asked about the incident said "What I feel is not fit for print."

Ateneo wanted to end the game right there and then, but according to Reyes "the organizers decided to just let the pros to continue, so that settled it." The varsity players were all benched thereafter.

The ending was one for the books. DLRT mounted a spirited comeback late in the fourth quarter to lead by three with less than two minutes left. Wesley Gonzales, who could not sink a single shot the whole game, drained a three (but not after Macmac Cardona bit into his fake so hard that Gollum found himself out of bounds) off the left corner to tie the game at 85.

After the DLRT inbounds pass, Gonzales then harassed Ritualo into turning the ball over with nine seconds remaining in the game.

Ateneo milked the clock before Olsen Racela passed to Villanueva who launched, and sank, a three-point basket at the buzzer. Game over, 88-85.

Larry Fonacier led all players with 30 points. Villanueva scored 27.

ATENEO 88--Fonacier 30, Villanueva 27, Alvarez 12, Bugia 6, Gonzales 4, Intal 4, Chia 3, Tenorio 2, Racela 0, Kramer 0, Hizon 0, Aguilar 0.
LA SALLE 85--Allado 18, Cardona 14, Telan 11, Ritualo 13, Cortez 8, Yeo 7, Araña 6, Limpot 4, Cuan 2, Cabatu 2, Maierhofer 0, Wilson 0.
Quarters: 20-22, 44-37, 62-56, 88-85

Eheads Forever

I have copies of all the Eraserheads albums from Ultraelectromagneticpop to Carbon Stereoxide (except Aloha Milkyway). I know that I can still fairly rant Punk Zappa. My copy of Natin99 was signed by the members of the band. My wishlist for the office party exactly ten years ago consisted of one item: a copy of Cutterpillow. I guess you can safely say that I listen to their music.

Now, some marketing genius just came up with this idea of a tribute album to the Eheads. The news - and the album - was out for quite some time now. This finally explains the crowd lining up in front of the UP Theater last Tuesday. Apparently, there was a concert featuring the artists who did the covers. The fact that I learned of it only now, is a testament to how much free time I still have in my hands.

I was hesitant to buy the album at first, because the track list had some characters who have absolutely no business whatsoever singing an Eheads song. For example - and for the love of everything good and holy - Cueshe. WTF?

But there is hope. FrancisM is doing Superproxy - which is rather expected. I am interested to hear Paolo Santos' interpretation of Magasin, and there is that now familiar remake of Maling Akala, as sung by Brownman Revival. And get this, Ang Huling El Bimbo will be sung by no other than Rico J. Puno himself.

Of course, I am not expecting any of these songs to be better than the Eheads' originals. In fact, I am willing to bet that not one of these bands will even come close to the standards that the Eheads set all those years ago. But, I am rather certain that it will be some trip down memory lane.

You're in Good Hands

My ass.

Before the clocks struck nine, I have been to four Metrobank ATMs and they were all sorry for being temporarily unable to dispense cash. All this time I thought that that was what ATMs were for. Four separate ATMs in four separate locations within Makati - the financial district of the country - all do not have cash. WTF? It is not as if the bank is unable to foresee this. It is payday, you morons. It happens twice every effing month. Tomorrow, it would already be December. Remember Christmas, you dimwits?

Salaries are deposited to ATM accounts precisely for convenience, you pricks. If your ATMs are going to run out of cash every payday, we might as well go back to lining up before the cashier to collect our paychecks. At least, we won't be disappointed and tired. Until, of course, we see our payslips and see how much our respective congressmen are getting from our salary.

But that's another story.

He's Back

Voldemort, that is. While the rest of humanity has seen it fit to watch the fourth installment of the highly popular Harry Potter series almost two weeks ago, I decided to let the panic subside a bit and watched it yesterday. It is not Star Wars, after all. Nevertheless, "the boy who lived" still managed to fill up Power Plant's Cinema 3, although most of the people who filled up the seats probably got their tickets just before the show was about to start.

I have not read a single Harry Potter book. Not knowing what will happen next, I think, makes the film more enjoyable to watch. I am even willing to go out on a limb here and say that Voldemort's reincarnation is many times - nay, infinitely - more compelling than that of Apo Abukay's.

Conversely, I try not to watch any of the film adaptations of the books that I have enjoyed reading. So, I purposely did not watch The Cider House Rules, or Simon Birch (A Prayer for Owen Meany). I saw Hotel New Hampshire via my PS2 and Breakfast of Champions over RPN-9, and both films were definitely disappointing. An exception to this rule would be any of Stephen King's novels. I couldn't care less how many times one has read Different Seasons, particularly Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption, you still have to see The Shawshank Redemption. It's that good.

Why the AHEAD billboard along Katipunan was taken down

Random Rants

I am still adjusting to sleeping at 1 a.m. at the earliest, yet again. I am still trying to figure out how to prepare given the wretched schedule that we have.

We have HR for ObliCon, and he is quite a character. He does not laugh. He guffaws. I have to agree with him when he said that the money that we spent for his time, is insufficient for the entertainment that he provides.

DG is DG. I cannot think of his class without the word "drop" constantly popping in my head.

Quoting La Aunor in Minsa'y Isang Gamu-gamo is in fashion again. After the alleged rape in Subic last November 1, everybody and everybody's mother is reciting: "My brother is not a pig!"

PBB is one big scam. Toni Gonzaga is effing annoying (imagine fingernails and blackboard). Bastusan na mangwarta ang ABS-CBN.

Da Bears

When I left for Manila almost six years ago, I said that one of the things that I would miss most about Chicago was watching the Bears live. When I was there, the Bears were still bad. Not the kind of "bad" that would put fear into their opponents' hearts, but the kind that you need to flush. They were consistently at the bottom of the division, or at best, somewhere very near it.

I used to take the train, or drive and park somewhere near Northwestern station, and take the bus to Soldier Field. There is nothing like it. Not even a Bulls game at the United Center (granted that when I saw a Bulls game live, nobody was wearing #23). Believe me, there is nothing that comes close to the experience of watching a football game. Live. In the middle of winter. In an open-air stadium. Sitting on a lake.

The Bears are now 6-3. They lead the division, with a two game lead over Detroit (4-5), which they have already beaten twice, and Minnesota (4-5). Now, if only they could figure out a way how not to screw this up...

Thirty One

On this day in 1974, 63rd Davis Cup: South Africa beats India in (w/o).

It is just uncanny that the most significant event on that day just happened to be a sporting event (which by the way, has absolutely nothing to do with the November 4, 1974 cover of SI, above).

Untitled

Hell starts anew in less than a week. I spent the break reacquainting myself with sleep, television, pirated dvds, and more sleep. I am also reading a book which so far do not contain the words: petitioner, respondent, provision, wherefore, etc.

Initial returns are acceptable. I will leave it at that.

I have learned that a friend is studying Nursing. God bless her. I took up Computer Science partly because I believe that one's choice of major is purely a decision on what kind of garbage one is willing to handle on a daily basis. So I myself, have learned very early in my life, that Nursing is not for me.

There's Hope in Dumbville

Finally, a Lasallite who actually makes sense. From today's PDI:

La Salle alumnus Cerviliano dela Cruz, however, stole the show during the press conference when he surprisingly lambasted the university officials "as the biggest hypocrite La Salle has ever produced."

"How could they fail the government exam and pass the La Salle exam?" asked Dela Cruz, adding that all La Salle alumni have "become the butt of jokes" as a result of the controversy.

Luistro assured the 70-year-old alumnus, who crashed the press conference, that the incident doesn't imply that La Salle has "lowered its standards" and the scandal "won't happen again."

Quebengco reasoned that "different programs have different requirements" and both players "met the requirements of the AB Sports Management course."

Apparently, standards for admission to the Sports Management course are lower than that for high school graduation. Dimwits.

There's Joy in Soxville

If there is one thing I've learned in the years that I have lived in Chicago, it is this: The World Series is never played in Chicago. But after Boston's championship a year ago (its first since 1918), you just believe that it can happen. You only hope that it happens sometime during your lifetime.

Now, after the White Sox beat the Houston Astros 1-0 in a sweep, the Windy City can celebrate its first World Series win in 88 years. The White Sox did what Chicago baseball teams are only rumored to have done before. They won a world championship. After the BoSox and the ChiSox won their respective championships, this leaves the Cubs as the only remaining team in baseball (or in all of organized sports for that matter) with an epic streak of futility.

As we have been saying since 1908: maybe next year.

Make-Believe Part II

DLRT released its statement on the eligibility of two of its basketball players earlier today. While the press conference mentioned nothing that the general public did not already know, it is surprising that one of the personalities it chose to implicate is the now-infamous batokero Salgado - one who is already banned for life in the first place. They could have saved everybody the time and effort by simply sending a fax.

Then it gets really funny:

"However, it was not until September 30, 2005 that the matter was brought to the attention of the deciding authorities. The delay can be attributed to administrative procedures that had to be followed and the apparent lack of urgency that the matter deserved."

If having two HS dropouts in your institution of "higher learning", not to mention first-hand knowledge of falsification of public documents, do not merit urgent action, I don't know what will.

Chewbacca Defense

Some sectors along graft-ridden Taft Ave. are now using South Park's Chewbacca Defense to get out of the shithole they're in. Here's the complete transcript:

Ladies and gentlemen of the supposed jury, Chef's attorney would certainly want you to believe that his client wrote "Stinky Britches" ten years ago. And they make a good case. Hell, I almost felt pity myself!

But ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider: Ladies and gentlemen this [pointing to a picture of Chewbacca] is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk, but Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now, think about that. THAT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! (Background: Damnit! What? He's using the Chewbacca defense!) Why would a Wookiee—an eight foot tall Wookiee—want to live on Endor with a bunch of two foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense!

But more important, you have to ask yourself, what does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense!

Look at me, I'm a lawyer defending a major record company, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense. None of this makes sense!

And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation... does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense.

If Chewbacca lived on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.

Deep Thoughts

Panahon na para magsaya
Forget mo na ang problema
Pa-dance dance, para sumigla
Rock 'n' roll hanggang umaga
- Sampaguita, Bonggahan

1. The White Sox reached the World Series for the first time since 1959. The last time they won it, was in 1917. If you think that's pathetic, remember that the last time the Cubs won it all was 1908. So, to all the NU fans out there (yes, all two of you) do not despair.
2. The Astros appear ready to close out the Cards. Which should be good. As a Cub fan, I just don't know how I can handle a ChiSox-Cards series.
3. The Irish (No. 9, AP) almost pulled it off against the Trojans last Saturday. Almost. The good news is, they did not fall off the rankings. The better news is that they are poised to go 9-2, and enter the BCS sweepstakes for the first time since 2000. The highest-ranked team left on the schedule is No. 17 Tennessee, and four of their five remaining games are at home.
4. If you are having a hard time explaining the birds and the bees to your kids, try using Philippine jurisprudence. According to our Supreme Court, female virtue is the "citadel of passion", and sex is equivalent to a "bombardment of the drawbridge" or a "shelling of the castle of orgasmic potency." For reference, see People v. Campuhan, GR No. 129433, March 30, 2000.
5. Overheard: "Kapatid ng sinungaling ang magnanakaw, therefore, GMA's marriage to Mike is null and void ab initio."

Sembreak

We will be going to Naga tomorrow to visit Weng's grandmother. It will be my first trip to the heart of Bicol since Holy Week. My excitement of seeing the place once again is somewhat tempered by the reason why we are going there in the first place. I will be try to have my fill of Bicol Express (the likes of which I guarantee you cannot find anywhere in Manila) and toasted siopao, before Sunday evening.

I will be coming from my final, final exam tomorrow. That concludes part one of what is set to be a 10-part marathon of persistence and endurance. I am rather proud of having survived the past five months. I guess the experience really was all they made it out to be. It was something that I wanted to do for the past 10 years or so. Earlier today, I was on my way to Malcolm to pass a final paper cum exam, and this MD on AM radio was saying that loving what you are doing will give you the energy that you need, more than anything else. Or something to that effect. That partly explains why work sucks.

I will be back on Monday. For the first time since June, I will be sleeping early on Friday night. And the day after that. And after that.

Keep on passing the open windows. Amen.

No Diploma? No Problem.

I promised myself I will stop picking on DLRT when they lost the title to FEU. But this one is just too good to pass up on:

In a statement released by the office of executive vice president Dr. Carmelita Quebengco, La Salle acknowledged that the high school records of a player on its current roster “turned out to be spurious,” and was therefore “neither eligible for admission to DLSU nor for participation as a member of DLSU’s basketball team.”

This admission, at least, settled one thing. That is, one can get admitted to DLRT without finishing high school.

What Pinoys Read

I don't know about you, but this is just sad.

LISTED below are the 10 most-read columns on news.INQ7.net for the week of September 25 to October 1, 2005, based on server traffic statistics.

1. Bubble Gang Toppings (Dollywood, September 28, 2005)
2. Kissing hunks and Pinay achievers in Toronto (Only in Hollywood, September 25, 2005)
3. Rock Star' finale: Inquirer was there (Only in Hollywood, September 25, 2005)
4. Running on True Faith and waxing sentimental (Dollywood, September 26, 2005)
5. Pacquiao confirms a happy news (Bare Eye, September 30, 2005)
6. A Filipino Tragedy: Lament of a Balikbayan (High Ground, September 26, 2005)
7. Dangerous ground (Editorial, September 26, 2005)
8. What Pacquiao failed to teach Gejon (Bare Eye, September 30, 2005)
9. Out for revenge (Editorial, September 27, 2005)
10. Carjackers still on the loose (On Target, September 27, 2005)

At least, we still have something to be thankful for. Maurice Arcache is not on the list, palanggas.

Instant Karma

From today's Inquirer:

The game, though, turned ugly after the buzzer as La Salle assistant team manager Manny Salgado rushed onto the court and hit Santos on the back of his head. The unsportsmanlike action was caught on television.

At the very least, you have to appreciate the irony. After all, this person came from an institution which tolerated unsportsmanlike behavior by its players, in at least two separate incidents, namely, the now infamous jig of the dancing queer, and the team committing a useless foul to stop the clock, to pose for pictures.

Suddenly, we find sick pleasure in seeing idiots getting a dose of their own medicine. My friend Joy would call this schadenfreude.

In addition, the incident is now being replayed on television, cellphones, PCs, not only in the Philippines but outside the country as well, courtesy of PINOY TV (GMA7) and TFC (ABS-CBN).

Breaking News:

The gentleman just apologized on national television this morning. He said that "it is clearly in the tape that my main intention was really to pacify both Santos and (Joseph) Yeo who were really at it." Right. Pacify Yeo and Santos by bashing the latter's head.

A hero's burial for Marcos?

The Philippine Daily Inquirer posted this question: Should Ferdinand Marcos be buried at the Libingan ng Mga Bayani? Why or why not?

Here is my answer: Yes, but only if Imelda is buried alive with him.

Kudos

Lord, in the battle that goes on through life,
I ask for a field that is fair;
A chance that is equal with all in strife,
and the courage to strive and to dare.
If I should win, let it be by the code,
with my faith and my honor held high,
but if I should lose, let me stand by the road
and cheer as the winner goes by.

After yesterday's game, the forums have been flooded with comments insinuating that the victors were a bunch of classless morons. I am not saying that they are not, but really, we have to understand that anybody would have a very hard time displaying class, when he has not attended one since he stepped on a college campus. It is difficult to imagine, but in some places, that is how things are.

So, inspite of the Arana jig, the pose at center court, let me offer my congratulations to the Archers from Taft. After all, pursuant to Art. 12(1) of the Revised Penal Code, you are all still exempt from criminal liability.

Of course, it goes without saying that I am not talking about insanity.

Eat Bulaga?

I can think of a number of reasons how tens of thousands of Vietnamese boat people in "the only Southeast Asian country that didn't turn [them] away" survived their ordeal, but "Eat Bulaga!" would probably be not one of them. Incidentally, I would have been wrong.

According to one belonging to the first batch of 229 Vietnamese who are flying to Los Angeles today, "he will surely miss the native dish sinigang, variety shows like 'Eat Bulaga!' and everything that made his life bearable."

Too bad nobody asked whether or not they enjoyed "Master Showman."

Remembering Sept. 21, 1972

1081 Proclamation 1081 is signed by President Ferdinand Marcos on Sept. 21, 1972, placing the entire country under martial law.

1935 Constitution provision stating the President can impose martial rule in the country or any part of it when public safety requires it is invoked by Marcos.

The trigger is the reported ambush of Defense Secretary Juan Ponce Enrile by communists who riddled his car with bullets.

(On the first day of the People Power revolt on Feb. 22, 1986, Enrile admitted the ambush was staged to justify the imposition of martial law.)

49 persons from the Greater Manila Area are immediately arrested on Sept. 22, 1972 by the AFP. Among the more prominent are Senators Benigno Aquino Jr., Jose Diokno, Ramon Mitra, Sergio Osmeña III, businessman Eugenio Lopez Jr., activist teacher Loretta Ann “Etta” Rosales, human rights lawyer Haydee Yorac and journalist Amando Doronila.

The AFP closes all media offices and arrests persons suspected of being involved in alleged rebellious activities.

On Sept. 23, 1972, Press Secretary Francisco Tatad announces the imposition of martial law and reads the Marcos proclamation in a nationwide televised broadcast.

12-4 a.m. curfew is now in place. Marcos abolishes Congress, moves to consolidate control over the media, Manila Electric Co., Philippine Airlines, the Philippine Long Distance Telephone Co. and other major communication and utility firms. Marcos also bans rallies.

22,287 individuals arrested from February 1974 to February 1986, according to Task Force Detainees of the Philippines.

706 persons disappear during the same period, according to TFDP figures.

880 massacred.

154 tortured.

2,491 summarily executed.

Source: The Philippine Daily Inquirer, 21 September 2005

Cabatu Posterized!

Unfortunately, that was about the only good thing that happened last Thursday.

For the record, JR Aquino was not trying to save Cabatu from the ignominy of being further humiliated over the Internet.

Here is the typical La Sallite's thoughts on the game:













Right.

Tamaraw FX

Yesterday's game was a joy to watch. Well, probably not if you're from Ep-Eee-Yu. LA Tenorio schooled Jonas Villanueva, who by the way, fouled out and finished with a measly 2 points. So much for all the hype. Tenorio, on the other hand, finished with a game-high 25 points, shooting 4-7 from beyond the arc.

Bonus: Japeth's two successive blocks on Arwind Santos were priceless. They were not gimme blocks either. Remember, this is the Arwind Santos we're talking about here.

Next: vs DLRT, Thursday, 4PM, Araneta Coliseum. I think I might be sick.

Make-Believe

While I immensely enjoy watching superheroes in sexy costumes save the day (having Angel Locsin under the costume really helps a lot), it annoys me as much seeing most of the protagonists, while generally depicted as noble and ideal, being hopelessly dumb.

Cases in point: Quick, somebody tell Efren how easily he can dispose of his shape-shifting malevolent wife by simply consulting a lawyer, any lawyer. And no, you can't just get a kid from his home by simply presenting a DNA certificate. It doesn't matter how horribly the kid tries to act.

It is not really difficult to overlook the characters' imbecility given the no small amount of gratification one can get by watching a flying arousal. But, one's tolerance can only accomodate so much. So here's a tip: Darna is still as enjoyable with no sound.

Until I Find You

I don't frequent Book Sale now as much as I did in college. Which is sad, when you think about it, considering that most of the books I had were fruits of tedious search operations in Book Sale branches all over Metro Manila. My copy of Catcher in the Rye, was such a fruit. Bought for the sum of 10 pesos, only to be borrowed and never to be returned.

I also started my collection of second-hand Steinbecks, Vonneguts, and Irvings this way. Sadly, most of these have already been lost to the elements, and to critters who likewise call our family home, home.

Speaking of Irving, I am eagerly awaiting the release of the man's latest novel. I was in college when I read Garp, New Hampshire and Cider House, and none of his other work has been as compelling as the three mentioned above. While I sincerely doubt that this latest novel will be better than those three, I am more than willing to find out.