... And Justice For All

Kagitingan

"Sleep, my sons, your duty done, for freedom's light has come."

T.I.M.Y.A.P.

Tang Inang Mukha Yan Ang Pangit.

This pathetic excuse for a human being, who actually provides the living argument why abortion should be legalized, put a previously unknown reporter's life in danger simply by being the irresponsible, insignificant moron that he is.

Napakalaki mong tanga.

Did You Know . . .

. . . that there were neither pilgrims nor Native Americans in the Philippines in 1621?

Happiness

Fourteen months after its publication, and two months after I discovered that this issue actually existed, it finally arrived.



Of course, not until after I tried asking Bufini and some bookstores first, looked for and found the email address of the magazine's circulation department, waited for a about a month or so for them to reply to an email, and finally, talked to a sensible guy who provided me with the manner of payment and delivery.

Never underestimate the persistence of a fanboy.

Fine, Fine Time

Whoever at Nike decided to print only 150 Ateneo three-peat championship shirts is an absolute idiot. Either that, or he has developed an aversion to making money. In any case, it feels good to refer to that asshole, whoever he may be, as an absolute idiot. Almost therapeutic, even.

Look. Those 150 shirts would not even be enough for all the resident-students of Eliazo Hall alone. That is how dumb that decision is. That a demand for this shirt was artificially created is obvious - there is not enough supply even for the residents of the smallest dormitory in campus. It's like providing a slice of cake to a convention of supermodels the day before the apocalypse.

* * *

Of course, by now everyone knows that the blue birds from Loyola Heights won the UAAP men's basketball championship yet again, making them champions for three years running. This year, like last year, the cows from Morayta were favored to win it all, for good reason. The cows had two players who are members of the national basketball team. They had the eventual MVP and ROY. The birds, on the other hand, lost three players to graduation. All three players ended up being picked in the PBA draft, two of whom were picked first and second overall.

After the Game 1 blowout, there were suggestions of game-fixing. So, I will take this opportunity to confess. Yes, I bribed the entire crayola squad to play like shit that day. That is the only way I can ensure a 23-point blowout. Pay off every single soul wearing a yellow and green jersey. Having only the MVP in your pocket just doesn't cut it.

This explains why I almost had no more budget for the second game. Beavis almost refused to lose the game until funds were transfered just before he took three free throws at the endgame. He missed two, setting up Buenafe's shot of a lifetime on the other end.

If you believe any of that, then you must be someone from Nike who thinks that printing only 150 shirts for the most rabid basketball fans in the country is a cool thing.

* * *

I was lucky enough to watch most of the first round games, and some of the second round games live - including both games against the pepsters. The first round game was already won, before one player decided to lose the game all by himself. The second round game was pure, unadulterated pleasure. It was a game that was over by the middle of the first quarter.

Which is very much like the first game of the finals, which I watched from the comfort of a hotel room near Taft. I am still hoping that that would be the last time I would spend a night at that hotel. I watched the second game from Upper Box A, in the same section where an elated Jumbo Escueta later climbed up to moments after the final buzzer.

* * *

Speaking of the apocalypse, another moron decided to ruin some otherwise promising lives one afternoon in Manila, by throwing a fragmentation grenade at a huge throng of people in a celebratory mood. Over 40 people were injured, including a sophomore law student who had to lose both legs because of the senseless act of an idiot who could very well be the living argument that abortion should be legalized. I will forever be in awe of the courage shown by Ms. Raissa Laurel after the incident.

GiTZ mo, n0h?

The st8 shol pRoTectnDProMotE D rIGhT Of ol CITiZEnZ to qUalitY EducAtion at Ol lEVElS,ndshoL tAke appropRI8 stEPz to mke suCh educaTioN acCESSiBLe to oL P0Wh.

- CoNSt p0wh. ArT. xiv, § 1.

Scum of the Earth Taxi Co.

It is Christmas once again, where all through the Metro, not a cab driver could be found. Oh, yes. It is open season once again for R&E and all other enterprising Manila cab drivers who suddenly become a wee bit harder-to-get than your stereotypical dalagang Pilipina. They do not even bother to come up with excuses anymore, they just look away and step on the gas.

Which is not to say that this phenomenon is exclusive to the last quarter of the year. It is a year-long event in these parts, and the government agencies mandated to protect the riding public (yes, you DOTC, LTO and LTFRB) seems to be inutile to do anything about it. If we presume that official duty is being regularly performed, and that they are actually eagerly waiting for pissed-off people to file complaints before them, and that no one has done exactly that, it should conveniently explain the temerity of these scum to just continue going about their merry ways, shouldn't it?

But, come on. It is public freaking knowledge. You and I watch the Amazing Race, and I am willing to bet the head of a cab driver on a plate, that we have the only spot of earth in the known universe where cab drivers routinely turn down passengers. I would not even be surprised if it is on Lonely Planet.

(Here is an unsolicited suggestion to the next president: appoint Bayani as chair of the LTFRB. If he can do to these assholes what he did to street vendors, I'll vote for him for whatever position in 2013 or 2016. That's a promise.)

On a related note, I would like to commend Michael Fajatin (who might just live down his Mendiola episode) for being a Good Samaritan last Friday by asking a cab driver, in not so subtle terms, to take a pregnant woman to her destination. The woman was apparently initially refused by the scumbag because she was not going to where he was going.

Welcome to the Philippines and Merry Christmas.

Vote For Me!

Better yet, vote wisely.

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Image courtesy of the Center for People Empowerment in Governance (CenPEG).

Quote of the Day

"We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious."

- Gollum Macapagal-Arroyo

Hayok

Sabi pa nila ay dito mo rin matatagpuan
Ang tao na nagmamay-ari ng isang upuan
Na pag may pagkakatao'y pinag-aagawan
Kaya naman hindi niya pinakakawalan
Kung makikita ko lamang siya ay aking sisigawan

- Gloc-9, Upuan

Just in case we need somebody to blame someday, here are the towns composing the second legislative district of Pampanga: Floridablanca, Guagua, Lubao, Porac, Santa Rita, Sasmuan.

FYI.

Hindsight is 20/20

MALACANANG
MANILA

EXECUTIVE ORDER No. 546

DIRECTING THE PHILIPPINE NATIONAL POLICE TO UNDERTAKE ACTIVE SUPORT TO THE ARMED FORCES OF THE PHILIPPINES IN INTERNAL SECURITY OPERATIONS FOR THE SUPPRESSION OF INSURGENCY AND OTHER SERIOUS THREATS TO NATIONAL SECURITY, AMENDING CERTAIN PROVISIONS OF EXECUTIVE ORDER NO. 110 SERIES OF 1999 AND FOR OTHER PURPOSES

WHEREAS, Section 12 of Republic Act No. 6975, as amended by Republic Act No. 8551, provides that the primary responsibility involving the suppression of insurgency and other serious threats to national security rests with the Armed Forces of the Philippines (AFP) and that the Philippine National Police (PNP) shall, through information gathering and performance of its ordinary police functions, support the AFP on matters involving the suppression of insurgency, except in cases where the President shall call on the PNP to support the AFP in combat operations;

WHEREAS, the National Democratic Front, the Communist Party of the Philippines and its military arm, the New People's Army, have been waging an armed struggle against the Government and the Filipino people for more than thirty years;

WHEREAS, the ongoing insurgency has a negative impact on the economy and resolving the insurgency will foster a climate conducive to economic growth and national development;

WHEREAS, to effectively address this threat, there is a need for a "whole of government approach" to ensure sustained, consistent, integrated and coordinated international security measures against the Communist Terrorist Movement and other organized elements/groups engaged in armed offensives against the Government;

NOW, THEREFORE, I, GLORIA MACAPAGALARROYO, President of the Republic of the Philippines, by virtue of the powers vested in me by law, do hereby order the following:

SECTION 1. The PNP shall support the AFP in combat operations involving the suppression of insurgency and other serious threats to national security.

SEC. 2. In the exercise of its responsibility, subject to the concurrence of the appropriate Local Chief Executive through the Local Peace and Order Council, the PNP is hereby authorized to deputize the barangay tanods as force multipliers in the implementation of the peace and order plan in the area.

SEC. 3. The Department of the Interior and Local Government shall exert efforts in securing and institutionalizing funding support from Local Government Units. For this purpose, governors and mayors, as deputized representatives of the National Police Commission in their respective territorial jurisdiction, and in relation to their sworn duty to implement Section 16 of the Local Government Code, shall ensure that sufficient funds shall be appropriated in their annual budget for the operational and logistical support of the concerned PNP units for the implementation of this Executive Order.

SEC. 4. The Local Chief Executives, in coordination with the Local Peace and Order Councils, shall include in the integrated area/ Community Public Safety Plan of their respective city/municipality, the priority program of action/thrust in resolving the insurgency and other serious threats to national security and ensure appropriation thereof for effective implementation of this Executive Order.

SEC. 5. All executive issuances, rules and regulations or parts thereof which are inconsistent with this Executive Order are hereby revoked, amended, or modified accordingly.

SEC. 6. This Executive Order shall take effect immediately.

DONE, in the City of Manila, this 14th of July in the year of Our Lord, Two Thousand and Six.

(Sgd.) GLORIA MACAPAGAL-ARROYO
President of the Philippines

By the President:

(Sgd.) EDUARDO R. ERMITA
Executive Secretary

Open Season

Look at the shoes your filling
Look at the blood we're spilling
Look at the world we're killing
The way we've always done before
Look in the doubt we've wallowed
Look at the leaders we've followed
Look at the lies we've swallowed
And I don't want to hear no more

My hands are tied
For all I've seen has changed my mind
But still the wars go on as the years go by
With no love of God or human rights
'Cause all these dreams are swept aside
By bloody hands of the hypnotized
Who carry the cross of homicide
And history bears the scars of our civil wars

- Civil War, Guns N' Roses

Bagong Salot ng Bayan

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Galing sa TNL ang mga larawan.

Conspiracy Theory No. 1

According to Inquirer.net, "former president Joseph Estrada said on Tuesday he was '99.9 percent' sure of running for president in the 2010 elections."

Notwithstanding the "minor" detail in Sec. 4, Art. VII of the 1987 Constitution, which says that "[t]he President shall not be eligible for any re-election," which puts into question Erap's qualification to run, and the interpretation of which will certainly be asked from the Supreme Court the moment Erap files his Certificate of Candidacy, I am more disturbed by the possibilty that these developments are actually calculated moves on the part of the Estrada family.

According to the Omnibus Election Code:

Sec. 77. Candidates in case of death, disqualification or withdrawal of another. - If after the last day for the filing of certificates of candidacy, an official candidate of a registered or accredited political party dies, withdraws or is disqualified for any cause, only a person belonging to, and certified by, the same political party may file a certificate of candidacy to replace the candidate who died, withdrew or was disqualified. The substitute candidate nominated by the political party concerned may file his certificate of candidacy for the office affected in accordance with the preceding sections not later than mid-day of the day of the election. If the death, withdrawal or disqualification should occur between the day before the election and mid-day of election day, said certificate may be filed with any board of election inspectors in the political subdivision where he is a candidate, or, in the case of candidates to be voted for by the entire electorate of the country, with the Commission. (emphases mine)

If Erap is disqualified anytime before election day, and Jinggoy Estrada files a certificate of candidacy to replace his father "not later than mid-day of the day of the election," then all "Estrada" votes will not be stray votes, but instead will be counted in favor of Jinggoy.

O ha.

Dumbass

I have never been a fan of Willie Revillame, but this latest fuck up has got to take the freaking cake.

Huwag kang mag-alala Papi. Pag ikaw ang namatay, tatawa kami.

Law of the Land

"There is a country where women freely go out unescorted and, like the beautiful roses in their public gardens, they always receive the protection of all. That country is Switzerland."

- People v. Jaurigue, 76 Phil. 174

I thought I have seen it all when, in addition to Jaurigue, quoted above, the justices of our Supreme Court introduced the concepts of "bombardment of the drawbridge," "shelling of the castle of orgasmic potency," and "strafing of the citadel of passion" to our jurisprudence. Now, the Court of Appeals have enriched our laws further with its recent ruling on the Subic Rape Case. To wit:

“When a woman is drunk, she can hardly rise, much more stand up and dance, or she would just drop. This is a common experience among Filipino girls.”

I do not know the last time the good lady justices went out to have a good time, but I think it is rather safe to assume that not one of them has ever been to Embassy, or to any college party, recently, where they would have seen enough drunk women - yes, drunk Filipino girls - who can not only rise and stand up, but actually dance a lot better than when they were sober. When was the last time you ladies went out anyway? 1945?

“Resistance by words of mouth [sic] does not suffice to establish that she indeed did not give her consent to the sexual intercourse.”

I guess this means that when a woman wants to say "No," it is not enough that she screams "No, I definitely do NOT want to have sex with you!" She also has to put it in writing, or maybe she has to express it in sign language, or perhaps via Morse Code. So, what would suffice? The problem is that the decision does not say what else a woman is supposed to do in order to deny her consent to sexual intercourse. If it is to be in writing, it also does not say whether or not it has to be in a public instrument. (Hello, I am being raped, can you notarize my statement of resistance to this unlawful aggression?)

Amnesia

Last night, I listened to, most probably, the most sensible statement Kris Aquino has ever made in her life. I don't really pay attention to what she is saying most of the time, but given the significance of the events that transpired yesterday, I thought the country needed to hear from Kris - the daughter - what most of us wanted to say.


"Pinatay nila si Ninoy Aquino."

From the "Things That Make You Go Hmm" Department

"To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history."

- Barack Obama, President, United States

"First of all, our President is ahead of Obama and probably, I would think that if there's anything to be learned, it should be President Obama learning from President Arroyo."

- Eduardo Ermita, Executive Secretary, Banana Republic

Customer Service

Me: May reservation ba kayo?
Genius on the phone (GOTP): Papunta ho saan?
Me: Sa Olongapo.
GOTP: Wala ho.
Me: Sa Zambales?
GOTP: Wala din ho.
Me: Maski yung last trip? Yung 11 ng gabi?
GOTP: Meron po.

(Trips to Zambales, just in case you don't have a Philippine road map on hand, go through Olongapo.)