Monday, July 28, 2008

Signs of the Times

On the way from Katipunan to the ULTRA for yesterday's game against the NU Bulldogs, we saw a sign painted on a pedestrian overpass proudly saying:


I am actually ambivalent as to whether this is simply a cheap attempt by the Pasig city government to emphasize its use of the letter "E" in its slogan, or a magnificent marketing ploy to promote its most (in)famous industry (No, it's not retail).

What's next? Here are a few suggestions:




For any more suggestions, please contact Pasig City Hall.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Last Song Syndrome

Di ka na mababasa ng ulan
Di ka na mababasa ng ulan
(Di na, di na, di, di, di)
Mababasa ng ulan
(Di na, di na, di, di, di)
Mababasa ng ulan

(Di na, di na, di, di, di)
Mababasa ng ulan

(Di na, di na, di, di, di, di, di, di)

The lines above came from what is probably the most stupid song I have heard since Mirahel's vomit-inducing attempt at tragicomedy was released sometime ago (it was also PCSO's highly successful attempt to irritate Filipinos to the point of suicide). While Mirahel's music (this is me being generous) was pounded, everyday, on every Filipino who watched TV, I had the misfortune of hearing this one, for the first time, on the way to the office on a cab ride from Diliman. I thought the music was familiar, and before I realized it, I think the driver was lucky that, at that moment, I did not have a gun on my hand.

These days, a cab ride from Diliman to Makati will expose you, not only to the unimpeachable solutions of cab drivers to this country's ills, but sometimes, also to free legal advice from a UP Law professor, and to free medical advice from an old woman sounding really dead-bored while talking to her guest MD that day. If you are really lucky, you will find a amiable cab driver who likes music, and you get to enjoy the music that sells to the Filipino, right now.

Apparently, this shit sells right now. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with people who write these songs, but I thought I had heard the end of it with Sumpa Ko, which is nothing but an uber-literal translation of, you guessed it, All 4 One's I Swear. But of course, life is full of disappointments. Something which unfortunately (this is me being sarcastic) hit Mirahel after their widely-seen PCSO ad, and which hopefully will soon embrace whoever unleashed this horror upon an unsuspecting public. God willing, those sick bastards never will be seen or heard from ever again.

(I feel I have to make a disclaimer right now. The Visayan version of Low that is hitting the airwaves - Butete - is cool. In fact, it is so cool that a friend of mine, an Ateneo College instructor and UP law student - ranked 8th in his class - has committed its lyrics to memory. "Diay kadtu makahilow low low low low low low . . .")

Monday, July 21, 2008

Decapitated Fowls

O CAPTAIN! my Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won;
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

- Walt Whitman, O Captain! My Captain!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Wanted: Tubero

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, was a little hamlet where 16 silly and very unfortunate people lived. The kingdom was ruled by four wicked witches (five, actually, but no one in the hamlet, took the fifth one seriously), any one of which, by comparison, by most people's estimation, will make Dolores Umbridge look like a charming, old lady. This early, their fledgling reign of terror may have already surpassed the magnitude of horror and sheer evil of all those which came before.

The first witch is not new. The silly people from the hamlet has had her as administrator before, and each and every one of them was her biatch at some point. Some were eventually exiled. Some ran away. Most decided that they can probably just humor the bitch and let her be. No one knows to this day whether that worked or not. Those who ran away came back after a few years, after finding out that resistance is, ultimately, futile. Mercifully, the gods decided that the hamlet has had enough suffering from the periods past, and reduced the scope of duties of the first witch, such that the hamlet will not be reminded of Madonna, as often as before.

The second witch was born when all the hate in the world was for the taking, and everyone else but her was perfectly sound asleep. She took all the hate - ALL - that the world can give, and kept it all for herself. A great majority of that hate has settled on her ass. That burden, has disfigured her face forever - cursed never to smile again until the end of time.

The third witch is confused and is confusing. She hates all things with little dongs swaying in the wind. She is most definitely a narcissist, and also appears to be a psychotic sociopath whose episodes can be as confusing as her gender. She tries to make her subjects at ease, that is, until one of her episodes kick in, and tell you matter-of-factly, that she'll have your head chopped off by sundown.

The fourth witch appears to have a life outside the coven. She had a husband and a child long before she became a wicked witch. She looks happy, and at the beginning, may have tried to stoke fear into the hearts of her silly subjects. The people are not yet sure as to whether they will love her or hate her, but they are not (yet) trembling from fear of pain and suffering, upon hearing her footsteps. She appears to be quite a reasonable witch, but the hamlet has been wrong before.

The hamlet, is now wondering, "what the fuck is wrong with the first three witches?" Is it in the water? Is it in the plumbing? Maybe the plumbing no longer works, and water no longer flows through the pipes. Who knows?

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Rumor Mongering

The rumors are true.

They are back.

Even if only for one night.

I wish I could go back to those fairy book tales
Forget the real world awhile
And seek the seas of the talking whales
A place of wishing wells and magic spells
Where everything starts out once upon a time
Long, long ago and ends happily ever after

- Wishing Wells

Monday, July 14, 2008

Monday, July 07, 2008

Lucky Charm

Ateneo won all three games that I watched live from the Big Dome's Upper Box section against La Salle last year. The Eagles also lost both games that I watched from my bed at home. Being the rational man that I am, I have come to the conclusion that I have to watch the game live, if the Blue Eagles would have any shot at winning their games.

That theory was promptly dismissed last night, after Ateneo beat the living organic fertilizer out of DLSU, 79-73 (OK, that was biased), when I was five MRT stations and one jeepney ride away. While the result admittedly deprived me of an irrational basis to blackmail my ticket-toting friends (which never worked anyway - so much for team spirit), I'd always take an Ateneo win against La Salle (or Al Salle as some cheerleaders spell it) any day.

Next up: Adamson, which has not, incidentally, won a UAAP game against Ateneo since the Erap administration.
Image courtesy of the Ateneo Sports Shooters.