Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Dear Joe

My inbox currently has an item with the subject "Joe d' Mango Story." It is supposedly Joe's own story - his own "love problem." It is basically the same sappy third-party story that he has written about countless times in the past (not that I read them), only this time, the man, or the mango, is actually involved.

I do not know what makes the venerable Joe qualified to give advice to all these semi-suicidal, presumably, otherwise normal people, that all of them, for all these years, go to him for help. Why not, for instance, write to Xerex Xaviera instead? I hear he also writes about other people's "love problems."

In my opinion, one does not need go further than our laws to solve these problems. For instance, in the Revised Penal Code, you will find:

Art. 247. Death or physical injuries inflicted under exceptional circumstances. — Any legally married person who having surprised his spouse in the act of committing sexual intercourse with another person, shall kill any of them or both of them in the act or immediately thereafter, or shall inflict upon them any serious physical injury, shall suffer the penalty of destierro.

If he shall inflict upon them physical injuries of any other kind, he shall be exempt from punishment.

Nobody could have said it any better. The person who came up with this provision is a freaking genius. While this may not solve all kinds of "love problems" (the courts will probably construe "sexual intercourse" strictly, eliminating a host of other similar exciting acts from the provision's coverage), it's still sounds much better than all that "letting go" crap.