Scum of the Earth Taxi Co.

It is Christmas once again, where all through the Metro, not a cab driver could be found. Oh, yes. It is open season once again for R&E and all other enterprising Manila cab drivers who suddenly become a wee bit harder-to-get than your stereotypical dalagang Pilipina. They do not even bother to come up with excuses anymore, they just look away and step on the gas.

Which is not to say that this phenomenon is exclusive to the last quarter of the year. It is a year-long event in these parts, and the government agencies mandated to protect the riding public (yes, you DOTC, LTO and LTFRB) seems to be inutile to do anything about it. If we presume that official duty is being regularly performed, and that they are actually eagerly waiting for pissed-off people to file complaints before them, and that no one has done exactly that, it should conveniently explain the temerity of these scum to just continue going about their merry ways, shouldn't it?

But, come on. It is public freaking knowledge. You and I watch the Amazing Race, and I am willing to bet the head of a cab driver on a plate, that we have the only spot of earth in the known universe where cab drivers routinely turn down passengers. I would not even be surprised if it is on Lonely Planet.

(Here is an unsolicited suggestion to the next president: appoint Bayani as chair of the LTFRB. If he can do to these assholes what he did to street vendors, I'll vote for him for whatever position in 2013 or 2016. That's a promise.)

On a related note, I would like to commend Michael Fajatin (who might just live down his Mendiola episode) for being a Good Samaritan last Friday by asking a cab driver, in not so subtle terms, to take a pregnant woman to her destination. The woman was apparently initially refused by the scumbag because she was not going to where he was going.

Welcome to the Philippines and Merry Christmas.

Mellon Collie

T'was the week before christmas
And all through the town
All the people were trippin
Then somethin came down

I never knew i had it
Day after day the dullness grew
Then one day i just felt plain lazy

- Eraserheads, Mono Virus

Vote For Me!

Better yet, vote wisely.

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Image courtesy of the Center for People Empowerment in Governance (CenPEG).

Quote of the Day

"We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious."

- Gollum Macapagal-Arroyo

Hayok

Sabi pa nila ay dito mo rin matatagpuan
Ang tao na nagmamay-ari ng isang upuan
Na pag may pagkakatao'y pinag-aagawan
Kaya naman hindi niya pinakakawalan
Kung makikita ko lamang siya ay aking sisigawan

- Gloc-9, Upuan

Just in case we need somebody to blame someday, here are the towns composing the second legislative district of Pampanga: Floridablanca, Guagua, Lubao, Porac, Santa Rita, Sasmuan.

FYI.

Hindsight is 20/20

MALACANANG
MANILA

EXECUTIVE ORDER No. 546

DIRECTING THE PHILIPPINE NATIONAL POLICE TO UNDERTAKE ACTIVE SUPORT TO THE ARMED FORCES OF THE PHILIPPINES IN INTERNAL SECURITY OPERATIONS FOR THE SUPPRESSION OF INSURGENCY AND OTHER SERIOUS THREATS TO NATIONAL SECURITY, AMENDING CERTAIN PROVISIONS OF EXECUTIVE ORDER NO. 110 SERIES OF 1999 AND FOR OTHER PURPOSES

WHEREAS, Section 12 of Republic Act No. 6975, as amended by Republic Act No. 8551, provides that the primary responsibility involving the suppression of insurgency and other serious threats to national security rests with the Armed Forces of the Philippines (AFP) and that the Philippine National Police (PNP) shall, through information gathering and performance of its ordinary police functions, support the AFP on matters involving the suppression of insurgency, except in cases where the President shall call on the PNP to support the AFP in combat operations;

WHEREAS, the National Democratic Front, the Communist Party of the Philippines and its military arm, the New People's Army, have been waging an armed struggle against the Government and the Filipino people for more than thirty years;

WHEREAS, the ongoing insurgency has a negative impact on the economy and resolving the insurgency will foster a climate conducive to economic growth and national development;

WHEREAS, to effectively address this threat, there is a need for a "whole of government approach" to ensure sustained, consistent, integrated and coordinated international security measures against the Communist Terrorist Movement and other organized elements/groups engaged in armed offensives against the Government;

NOW, THEREFORE, I, GLORIA MACAPAGALARROYO, President of the Republic of the Philippines, by virtue of the powers vested in me by law, do hereby order the following:

SECTION 1. The PNP shall support the AFP in combat operations involving the suppression of insurgency and other serious threats to national security.

SEC. 2. In the exercise of its responsibility, subject to the concurrence of the appropriate Local Chief Executive through the Local Peace and Order Council, the PNP is hereby authorized to deputize the barangay tanods as force multipliers in the implementation of the peace and order plan in the area.

SEC. 3. The Department of the Interior and Local Government shall exert efforts in securing and institutionalizing funding support from Local Government Units. For this purpose, governors and mayors, as deputized representatives of the National Police Commission in their respective territorial jurisdiction, and in relation to their sworn duty to implement Section 16 of the Local Government Code, shall ensure that sufficient funds shall be appropriated in their annual budget for the operational and logistical support of the concerned PNP units for the implementation of this Executive Order.

SEC. 4. The Local Chief Executives, in coordination with the Local Peace and Order Councils, shall include in the integrated area/ Community Public Safety Plan of their respective city/municipality, the priority program of action/thrust in resolving the insurgency and other serious threats to national security and ensure appropriation thereof for effective implementation of this Executive Order.

SEC. 5. All executive issuances, rules and regulations or parts thereof which are inconsistent with this Executive Order are hereby revoked, amended, or modified accordingly.

SEC. 6. This Executive Order shall take effect immediately.

DONE, in the City of Manila, this 14th of July in the year of Our Lord, Two Thousand and Six.

(Sgd.) GLORIA MACAPAGAL-ARROYO
President of the Philippines

By the President:

(Sgd.) EDUARDO R. ERMITA
Executive Secretary

Open Season

Look at the shoes your filling
Look at the blood we're spilling
Look at the world we're killing
The way we've always done before
Look in the doubt we've wallowed
Look at the leaders we've followed
Look at the lies we've swallowed
And I don't want to hear no more

My hands are tied
For all I've seen has changed my mind
But still the wars go on as the years go by
With no love of God or human rights
'Cause all these dreams are swept aside
By bloody hands of the hypnotized
Who carry the cross of homicide
And history bears the scars of our civil wars

- Civil War, Guns N' Roses

Reeling and Writhing

It is amusing how the "country's largest political party" with its highly-touted "machinery" could not even field a complete Senate slate of twelve. This much was admitted, barely a week after party leaders shrugged off reports of defections, and referred to those who left the party as "insignificant."

Within the past week, the "country's largest political party" selected actor and game show host Edu Manzano to be its candidate for Vice-President of the Philippines (Can you say "Game KNB?"). Former Senator Ralph Recto and his wife Batangas Governor Vilma Santos confirmed yesterday that it left the "country's largest political party" for the Liberal Party. As far as I know, they were not called "insignificant." Earlier today, Quezon City Mayor Sonny Belmonte and Vice-Mayor Herbert Bautista followed suit.

With all the airtime its party leaders are enjoying, I am at a loss as to how it cannot field a slate of twelve. Off the top of my head, I can suggest Eduardo Ermita, Prospero Nograles, Prospero Pichay, Mikey Arroyo, Romulo Neri, Raul Gonzales, Ignacio Bunye, Anthony Golez, Cerge Remonde, and my all-time favorite Lorelei Fajardo. That's ten names right there. Add that to the eight other people they are considering (which incidentally includes incumbent Senators of the Republic Ramon "Bong" Revilla, Jr. and Lito Lapid), there is no way the "country's largest political party" cannot come up with twelve names, and there is no way they could possibly lose next year's elections.

Right.

Today, ladies and gentlemen, is the first day, of the rest of its life.

* * *

May 2010 is shaping up to be a three-way horse race among alumni of three institutions of higher learning: Aquino and Roxas are from Ateneo, Villar and Legarda are from UP, Teodoro and Manzano are from DLSU. Well, you know where my loyalties lie.

Room 107

It's an evil fucking room.

- Gerald Olin, 1408

There's a sofa, a writing desk, faux antique armoire, floral wallpaper. Carpet's unremarkable except for a stain beneath a thrift-store painting of a schooner lost at sea. The work is done in the predictably dull fashion of Currier and Ives. The second painting is of an old woman reading bedtime stories - a Whistler knockoff - to a group of deranged children while another Madonna and child watch from the background. It does have the vague air of menace. The third and final, painfully dull painting, the ever popular "The Hunt". Horses, hounds and constipated British lords. Some smartass spoke about the banality of evil. If that's true, then we're in the 7th circle of hell.

- Mike Enslin, 1408

You can choose to repeat this hour over and over again, or you can take advantage of our express checkout system.

- Room 1408, 1408

Enjoy your stay.

Dear Miss Manners

Q: X, at the pain of sounding demanding, is this correct - i bid 225 points for friday am ola and still got thursday am!? :(

A: hi Y,Z also has a similar problem. But I think we can work it out - OLA was one of the subjects which wasn't part of the required class demand survey the ARC and STRAW released a couple of weeks back. With a class demand survey kasi, we'll be able to find out before hand how many slots we should allocate per section. For OLA, since this didn't happen, Prof. A just estimated that there'll be about 115 students taking OLA (and this 115 will be divided by the 10 teams). Pero after the run was conducted, nalaman namin na about 7 or 8 students and hindi nabigyan ng slots. This means that the admin underestimated the demand for OLA. Prof. A was ready to make arrangements for the 7 or 8 students when we realized this problem earlier tonight. But I suggest that you send him an email na rin at [email] just so he knows. But I can help talk to Prof. A about this during reg. Pakipaaalala lang sa akin.thanks,- X

But, of course, it wasn't because they underestimated the demand. It was because the program they were using had so many bugs in it, you could have asked your local pest exterminator to clean it up.

The 225 points that Y bid above turned out to be the second-highest bid for the section. Y, along with the person who bid the highest bid (at 238) were "waterfalled" to another section, while the person with the third-highest bid (201) did not get a slot at all. Meanwhile, people who bid 90 and 60 points got the slots. So, how the fuck did this happen?

Presumably, in their desire to "improve" the registration process, and perhaps the performance of the college in general, they decided to implement new rules during registration (subject, of course, to new rules which were later implemented as they went along their merry way). Some of these are: that "crossovers" between day and evening sections will no longer be allowed and, that day students have priority over evening students on day subjects and vice versa.

When every single evening student who bid for the same subject got squat regardless of the number of points bid, you don't need to look at the source code to see that the system fucked up. Electives and OLA sections were all classified as "day" subjects, in effect, putting priority on the bids of day students above those of evening students. The result, as with all programs running with bugs, is garbage.

Given the time constraints and the indefinite requirements given them, I would say that the programmers did a relatively good job. I am assuming that undergraduate students wrote the code. To properly put all this into perspective, consider that undergraduate "machine problems" are usually given one month before the deadline. The requirements should already be clear and well-defined at this time: these requirements are what the programmers will test against. Students, of course, usually start working on these only about two weeks before the deadline. In an ideal situation, the code is tested against all possible scenarios (i.e. a stress test) presented by the requirements before it goes into production. (There is a reason why computer professionals use the word "user" when they mean "idiot".) If you don't, and the program encounters a scenario that it doesn't recognize at run-time, then you are really fucked up. Remember that for software, repair costs increase if they leak downstream - they increase tenfold with each lifecycle phase.

Computer programs are predictable. They will do what you ask them to do. If you, for example, in your sheer genius, decide that a specific set of students get higher priority over another set of students on a specific set of classes, the program will do exactly that. It will not discriminate and will not make any distinction for you. For example, regardless of the fact that day and evening students alike, take OLA and elective subjects on equal footing, the program will not recognize that until you tell it to.

They should have properly tested the program before hoisting it upon an unsuspecting studentry. Next time, they should also publish the results. Meanwhile, I have to hope and pray that I don't have to go through this shit ever again.

Hope Springs Eternal *

Payment Status: Paid for 1st Semester, 2009-10
Priority: Graduating for 2nd Semester, 2009-10

The past few weeks have been very hectic due, in no small part, to all the slacking I did for the past five months. From the start of June up to the end of October, in what I correctly predicted beforehand as the best semester ever, I barely stayed up late to read any thick, grossly overpriced, hardbound book on various esoteric subjects, written by very old men who are probably full of themselves, if at all.

Of course, I also had the good fortune to find an available slot for PIL under Dean P. before the semester started. Otherwise, it would have been Paracetamol Monday all over again for me. Looking back, I think I am very blessed to have been able to take that course before the college changed the enlistment rules again. Looking forward, you can bet your glutes I am thanking all the gods everywhere that I will be gone before they decide to make it more disorganized than it already is.

Next semester wouldn't be as easy though. For one, we'll be doing internship again, and this time it won't last for just over a month. Nobody I know has ever enjoyed the experience. I will try my best to get the schedule which I think will inflict the least possible amount of pain.

Then there's Tax, which I would have already finished, if last year, they gave priority to "on-curriculum" students and did not give priority to graduating students, and which I would have gotten first dibs this year, if they did not change the rules, did not give priority to "on-curriculum" students and gave priority to graduating students. Trust the best minds in the country to screw the simplest things up.

I also need one more elective, and after being able to get all the best electives offered by the college all these years, this time, I couldn't care less which three-unit elective they give me. In Red's language, I am almost done crawling to freedom through five hundred yards of shit smelling foulness you can't even imagine. I am almost rehabilitated and almost ready to rejoin society.

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* Subtitle of Stephen King's novella Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption, originally published in Different Seasons.

Bagong Salot ng Bayan

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Galing sa TNL ang mga larawan.

Wishlist

1. Noynoy Aquino and Mikey Arroyo slug it out for the presidency in 2010.

Iyon lang po, Lord.

Conspiracy Theory No. 1

According to Inquirer.net, "former president Joseph Estrada said on Tuesday he was '99.9 percent' sure of running for president in the 2010 elections."

Notwithstanding the "minor" detail in Sec. 4, Art. VII of the 1987 Constitution, which says that "[t]he President shall not be eligible for any re-election," which puts into question Erap's qualification to run, and the interpretation of which will certainly be asked from the Supreme Court the moment Erap files his Certificate of Candidacy, I am more disturbed by the possibilty that these developments are actually calculated moves on the part of the Estrada family.

According to the Omnibus Election Code:

Sec. 77. Candidates in case of death, disqualification or withdrawal of another. - If after the last day for the filing of certificates of candidacy, an official candidate of a registered or accredited political party dies, withdraws or is disqualified for any cause, only a person belonging to, and certified by, the same political party may file a certificate of candidacy to replace the candidate who died, withdrew or was disqualified. The substitute candidate nominated by the political party concerned may file his certificate of candidacy for the office affected in accordance with the preceding sections not later than mid-day of the day of the election. If the death, withdrawal or disqualification should occur between the day before the election and mid-day of election day, said certificate may be filed with any board of election inspectors in the political subdivision where he is a candidate, or, in the case of candidates to be voted for by the entire electorate of the country, with the Commission. (emphases mine)

If Erap is disqualified anytime before election day, and Jinggoy Estrada files a certificate of candidacy to replace his father "not later than mid-day of the day of the election," then all "Estrada" votes will not be stray votes, but instead will be counted in favor of Jinggoy.

O ha.

Haiku

Toilet Haiku #1:

Oh my toilet duck!
You color the water blue.
Add my weewee: Green.

- Gabe Mercado

My Kind of Game

Kirk Long made a jumper to make it 2-0, and the rout was on.

This time, we did not need to come back from a late deficit after trailing all game long. There was absolutely no threat from a possible buzzer-beating trey (or two of them) to send the game to overtime (yesterday, they needed to sink seven treys in the last two minutes to win; of course, that is assuming that Ateneo scores nothing during that span). The thrill was practically gone after Ateneo led 8-0 and never looked back.

DLRT could come no more closer than five points after that, while Ateneo's lead ballooned to as many as 21 points. The final margin was 16 points, no thanks to two straight gimme baskets in the last minute of the game that was over not too long after tipoff.

While no criminal acts were committed by players exempt from criminal liability (see the Revised Penal Code) this time, the game was not without its interesting moments. There was Joshua Webb, who saluted the Ateneo crowd after making a layup in traffic. Of course, they were already trailing by double digits then. There was also Arvie Bringas trash-talking Rabeh Al-Hussaini, after making his first and only basket (a three-pointer) of the game. Rabeh already had 22 points at that time and his team was very comfortably ahead. So, either I am at a loss as to what these idiots could possibly yak about during a game where their collective ass was being whipped, or they are really confused about when to talk trash.

But, the best moment for me was when Ryan Buenafe was called to the bench one last time, and there he was, smiling at Joshua Webb, pointing at the scoreboard with utter glee.

2 > 0. The math is correct. The world is aright once more.

Wish Ko Lang

In related news, the Papaya Indian Restaurant based in London, received an order from the Bangladeshi cricket team for a takeaway to be flown out 3,400 miles away to Dubai. The whole order, including travel, cost over £4,200 (or PhP333,400.00).

Which is still roughly US$13,077.00 (or PhP629,679.39) less than what the douchebag PGMA and her party spent on a "simple dinner" in Manhattan.

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1 US Dollar = 48.15167 Philippine Peso
1 British Pound = 1.64856 US Dollar

Dumbass

I have never been a fan of Willie Revillame, but this latest fuck up has got to take the freaking cake.

Huwag kang mag-alala Papi. Pag ikaw ang namatay, tatawa kami.

That Old Cory Magic

A law professor once looked at my class and remarked, that for most of us, him retelling the story of EDSA was like his parents retelling the story of the war ("panahon ng hapon"). Most of my classmates were born post-EDSA, and they learned about what happened on those fateful February days - not to mention the events from 1983 that led to People Power - pretty much the same way how my professor (and I, for that matter) learned about the war - through textbooks.

When Cory's children announced early last year, that their mother had cancer of the colon, I told my wife that when the time comes, I will be paying my last respects to the woman who spent the best years of her life in the service of her country. Last Saturday after the game at Cubao, Weng and I passed through Ortigas Ave on the way home to Makati to survey the situation. The rain was pouring really hard, cars can be seen parking along both sides of Ortigas (I think it was the first time I saw people crossing Ortigas), and people are still coming in droves. The line stretched all the way outside the LSGH campus. Weng reminded me that a mass was being held, and that the public viewing will probably not start again until after an hour or so. We decided to go home and just come back later.

At 2 o'clock in the morning, a good number of private vehicles were still parked along both sides of Ortigas. This time, we did not bother to find out if it extended all the way to Wilson, and just asked the policeman on duty if we could park beside a vehicle which appeared to be from Channel 5. I presumed that they wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon. I never thanked a cop so profusely in my life before that time.

We got inside the campus rather easily, and the lines started in the corridor leading to the gym. There were two lines and they were letting people in by batches. We went up a ramp and into the gym and after less than an hour since we fell in line, we saw the flag-draped casket below an image of the crucified Christ.

As the line went around the gym, you cannot help but notice the flowers around it (there was, in fact, no more space for the flowers inside the gym, that some of them were already placed at the corridor leading to the gym; some were moved to the EDSA Shrine across EDSA). Aside from the huge ones from politicians and government agencies, you cannot possibly miss one simple basket of flowers which was brought by a policeman from Parañaque. The line was moving rather quickly, probably in consideration of all the people still in line, and when we saw the remains of the former president, we could only make the sign of the cross and make a very short prayer. But, I think that it was enough.

The next day, we found out that the line already stretched all the way to EDSA and back to Ortigas. The networks were reporting that it takes around two hours to get inside the campus and another hour or so to get inside the gym. They also announced that Wednesday, the day of Cory's interment, was declared a special non-working holiday. I texted my teammates of the development, and one of them replied:

"Anong okasyon?"

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Image courtesy of Inquirer.net.

Nirvana

Only if life at Malcolm has been anything like this for the past four years and change, I wouldn't have suffered all that needless stress. I really think that for some sick reason, all these years, I have been blessed enough to get all the elective subjects I wanted to get - and I really mean all. I probably wouldn't be able to use half of it (just like Calculus), but I will always take useless and easy over useless and fucking difficult any day.

I have been reading all the PIL assignments, which are really reasonable considering what he-who-must-not-be-named assigned to us before, and that they come with specific instructions to read only the relevant parts. You can actually read them anytime before class. In fact, I have been reading them at work before going to Diliman at noon. Sometimes, I read them during Rem class, where you have a good four hours to finish the readings. So far, there has been no pressure at all, because all our magnificent classmates are always prepared to volunteer (Hooray for them!).

As for Rem, all the cases are assigned a priori. Which is exactly how the professor wants it. Since the start of classes, I have read a grand total of four - read them - four cases. Of course, this does not include all the ICJ cases that I have been reading during this period to prepare for the next day's class. Will I regret it someday? I don't know. But I promise to do things differently when we get to Crim Pro and Spec Pro. Those will be somewhat new for me. But I think I can relax again when we get to Evidence.

I also have two other electives with, by my humble standards, very good professors. I have not been called in either class yet, but I can say with a straight face that I have been able to participate in the discussions in one of them. In the other class, let us just say that there are not too many discussions there. However, I can say with reasonable certainty that I will be called to recite in that class someday, and I can intelligently guess, that I will be the 44th person to be called. Call it a hunch.