Conspiracy Theory No. 1

According to Inquirer.net, "former president Joseph Estrada said on Tuesday he was '99.9 percent' sure of running for president in the 2010 elections."

Notwithstanding the "minor" detail in Sec. 4, Art. VII of the 1987 Constitution, which says that "[t]he President shall not be eligible for any re-election," which puts into question Erap's qualification to run, and the interpretation of which will certainly be asked from the Supreme Court the moment Erap files his Certificate of Candidacy, I am more disturbed by the possibilty that these developments are actually calculated moves on the part of the Estrada family.

According to the Omnibus Election Code:

Sec. 77. Candidates in case of death, disqualification or withdrawal of another. - If after the last day for the filing of certificates of candidacy, an official candidate of a registered or accredited political party dies, withdraws or is disqualified for any cause, only a person belonging to, and certified by, the same political party may file a certificate of candidacy to replace the candidate who died, withdrew or was disqualified. The substitute candidate nominated by the political party concerned may file his certificate of candidacy for the office affected in accordance with the preceding sections not later than mid-day of the day of the election. If the death, withdrawal or disqualification should occur between the day before the election and mid-day of election day, said certificate may be filed with any board of election inspectors in the political subdivision where he is a candidate, or, in the case of candidates to be voted for by the entire electorate of the country, with the Commission. (emphases mine)

If Erap is disqualified anytime before election day, and Jinggoy Estrada files a certificate of candidacy to replace his father "not later than mid-day of the day of the election," then all "Estrada" votes will not be stray votes, but instead will be counted in favor of Jinggoy.

O ha.

Haiku

Toilet Haiku #1:

Oh my toilet duck!
You color the water blue.
Add my weewee: Green.

- Gabe Mercado

My Kind of Game

Kirk Long made a jumper to make it 2-0, and the rout was on.

This time, we did not need to come back from a late deficit after trailing all game long. There was absolutely no threat from a possible buzzer-beating trey (or two of them) to send the game to overtime (yesterday, they needed to sink seven treys in the last two minutes to win; of course, that is assuming that Ateneo scores nothing during that span). The thrill was practically gone after Ateneo led 8-0 and never looked back.

DLRT could come no more closer than five points after that, while Ateneo's lead ballooned to as many as 21 points. The final margin was 16 points, no thanks to two straight gimme baskets in the last minute of the game that was over not too long after tipoff.

While no criminal acts were committed by players exempt from criminal liability (see the Revised Penal Code) this time, the game was not without its interesting moments. There was Joshua Webb, who saluted the Ateneo crowd after making a layup in traffic. Of course, they were already trailing by double digits then. There was also Arvie Bringas trash-talking Rabeh Al-Hussaini, after making his first and only basket (a three-pointer) of the game. Rabeh already had 22 points at that time and his team was very comfortably ahead. So, either I am at a loss as to what these idiots could possibly yak about during a game where their collective ass was being whipped, or they are really confused about when to talk trash.

But, the best moment for me was when Ryan Buenafe was called to the bench one last time, and there he was, smiling at Joshua Webb, pointing at the scoreboard with utter glee.

2 > 0. The math is correct. The world is aright once more.

Wish Ko Lang

In related news, the Papaya Indian Restaurant based in London, received an order from the Bangladeshi cricket team for a takeaway to be flown out 3,400 miles away to Dubai. The whole order, including travel, cost over £4,200 (or PhP333,400.00).

Which is still roughly US$13,077.00 (or PhP629,679.39) less than what the douchebag PGMA and her party spent on a "simple dinner" in Manhattan.

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1 US Dollar = 48.15167 Philippine Peso
1 British Pound = 1.64856 US Dollar

Dumbass

I have never been a fan of Willie Revillame, but this latest fuck up has got to take the freaking cake.

Huwag kang mag-alala Papi. Pag ikaw ang namatay, tatawa kami.

That Old Cory Magic

A law professor once looked at my class and remarked, that for most of us, him retelling the story of EDSA was like his parents retelling the story of the war ("panahon ng hapon"). Most of my classmates were born post-EDSA, and they learned about what happened on those fateful February days - not to mention the events from 1983 that led to People Power - pretty much the same way how my professor (and I, for that matter) learned about the war - through textbooks.

When Cory's children announced early last year, that their mother had cancer of the colon, I told my wife that when the time comes, I will be paying my last respects to the woman who spent the best years of her life in the service of her country. Last Saturday after the game at Cubao, Weng and I passed through Ortigas Ave on the way home to Makati to survey the situation. The rain was pouring really hard, cars can be seen parking along both sides of Ortigas (I think it was the first time I saw people crossing Ortigas), and people are still coming in droves. The line stretched all the way outside the LSGH campus. Weng reminded me that a mass was being held, and that the public viewing will probably not start again until after an hour or so. We decided to go home and just come back later.

At 2 o'clock in the morning, a good number of private vehicles were still parked along both sides of Ortigas. This time, we did not bother to find out if it extended all the way to Wilson, and just asked the policeman on duty if we could park beside a vehicle which appeared to be from Channel 5. I presumed that they wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon. I never thanked a cop so profusely in my life before that time.

We got inside the campus rather easily, and the lines started in the corridor leading to the gym. There were two lines and they were letting people in by batches. We went up a ramp and into the gym and after less than an hour since we fell in line, we saw the flag-draped casket below an image of the crucified Christ.

As the line went around the gym, you cannot help but notice the flowers around it (there was, in fact, no more space for the flowers inside the gym, that some of them were already placed at the corridor leading to the gym; some were moved to the EDSA Shrine across EDSA). Aside from the huge ones from politicians and government agencies, you cannot possibly miss one simple basket of flowers which was brought by a policeman from Parañaque. The line was moving rather quickly, probably in consideration of all the people still in line, and when we saw the remains of the former president, we could only make the sign of the cross and make a very short prayer. But, I think that it was enough.

The next day, we found out that the line already stretched all the way to EDSA and back to Ortigas. The networks were reporting that it takes around two hours to get inside the campus and another hour or so to get inside the gym. They also announced that Wednesday, the day of Cory's interment, was declared a special non-working holiday. I texted my teammates of the development, and one of them replied:

"Anong okasyon?"

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Image courtesy of Inquirer.net.

Nirvana

Only if life at Malcolm has been anything like this for the past four years and change, I wouldn't have suffered all that needless stress. I really think that for some sick reason, all these years, I have been blessed enough to get all the elective subjects I wanted to get - and I really mean all. I probably wouldn't be able to use half of it (just like Calculus), but I will always take useless and easy over useless and fucking difficult any day.

I have been reading all the PIL assignments, which are really reasonable considering what he-who-must-not-be-named assigned to us before, and that they come with specific instructions to read only the relevant parts. You can actually read them anytime before class. In fact, I have been reading them at work before going to Diliman at noon. Sometimes, I read them during Rem class, where you have a good four hours to finish the readings. So far, there has been no pressure at all, because all our magnificent classmates are always prepared to volunteer (Hooray for them!).

As for Rem, all the cases are assigned a priori. Which is exactly how the professor wants it. Since the start of classes, I have read a grand total of four - read them - four cases. Of course, this does not include all the ICJ cases that I have been reading during this period to prepare for the next day's class. Will I regret it someday? I don't know. But I promise to do things differently when we get to Crim Pro and Spec Pro. Those will be somewhat new for me. But I think I can relax again when we get to Evidence.

I also have two other electives with, by my humble standards, very good professors. I have not been called in either class yet, but I can say with a straight face that I have been able to participate in the discussions in one of them. In the other class, let us just say that there are not too many discussions there. However, I can say with reasonable certainty that I will be called to recite in that class someday, and I can intelligently guess, that I will be the 44th person to be called. Call it a hunch.

So Far, So Good

Initial returns show that the chances of this semester, ending up as the best semester ever, is not unlikely.

A Few Good Men

After turning over all my crappy cases to the next sorry intern last week, I only need to appear in one more preliminary conference before the MTC in Marikina this week, and summer would officially, mercifully, be done. Next week, I can go back to more mundane, and less stressful, things like cases and recits.

Admittedly, it could have been a lot worse. A blockmate was a wrong word away from being cited for contempt. Another almost became the godmother of her client's child, and almost shelled out money for the christening. The worst that happened to me was paying for a client's photocopying expenses. Everybody should be so lucky. Anyway, I am just happy that nobody got hanged because of me.

Next week, we'll be seeing our old friend PIL, and meeting new acquaintances like SLR, banking, comm'l arb and even not-so-new rem law review. We enlisted in PIL only a week or so after learning about the result of our efforts in PrIL - which would make all of us, either courageous or dumb. All these, after the college implemented a new enlistment system, in a manner that is contrary to every software engineering principle I know.

What a way to start the year. I can't wait to get this over with. Let's get it on.

A Can of Whoop Ass

I thought that a football match broke out of the Pacquiao-Hatton laugher yesterday. But, only for less than two rounds. I guess they all know when to shut up.

By the way, maybe it is a good thing to send Nanay Dionesia to Vegas everytime the Pacman has a fight. I don't know, but it seems to me that she can get less airtime only if she's abroad. And even that is too much.

You know the ads got inside your head when you're still trying to shake the image of a woman fixing a leaking roof off it, a day after. Well, it's either that or Giselle Sanchez and her husband, and tongkat ali. Take your pick.
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image courtesy of Inquirer.net.

Law of the Land

"There is a country where women freely go out unescorted and, like the beautiful roses in their public gardens, they always receive the protection of all. That country is Switzerland."

- People v. Jaurigue, 76 Phil. 174

I thought I have seen it all when, in addition to Jaurigue, quoted above, the justices of our Supreme Court introduced the concepts of "bombardment of the drawbridge," "shelling of the castle of orgasmic potency," and "strafing of the citadel of passion" to our jurisprudence. Now, the Court of Appeals have enriched our laws further with its recent ruling on the Subic Rape Case. To wit:

“When a woman is drunk, she can hardly rise, much more stand up and dance, or she would just drop. This is a common experience among Filipino girls.”

I do not know the last time the good lady justices went out to have a good time, but I think it is rather safe to assume that not one of them has ever been to Embassy, or to any college party, recently, where they would have seen enough drunk women - yes, drunk Filipino girls - who can not only rise and stand up, but actually dance a lot better than when they were sober. When was the last time you ladies went out anyway? 1945?

“Resistance by words of mouth [sic] does not suffice to establish that she indeed did not give her consent to the sexual intercourse.”

I guess this means that when a woman wants to say "No," it is not enough that she screams "No, I definitely do NOT want to have sex with you!" She also has to put it in writing, or maybe she has to express it in sign language, or perhaps via Morse Code. So, what would suffice? The problem is that the decision does not say what else a woman is supposed to do in order to deny her consent to sexual intercourse. If it is to be in writing, it also does not say whether or not it has to be in a public instrument. (Hello, I am being raped, can you notarize my statement of resistance to this unlawful aggression?)

Quote of the Day

"So this is what a courtroom looks like."

- Kaffee, A Few Good Men

Scarlett was Never This Hot in the 80s

Yo Joe!

Seven

Being the practicing Catholic that I am, I was able to make my very first visita iglesia last week. I knew you are supposed to go visit churches (you don't even have to know rudimentary Spanish to figure that out), but I wouldn't even have known its basis or history had it not been for a mini-debate at work about how many churches one is supposed to visit. Other than that, and that you are supposed to pray, I pretty much have no more idea on what else you are supposed to do.

I mapped out the churches in my head, and figured out how we can get from one point to another. Weng took care of the liturgy. I guess you can say that she is my saving grace. We were able to complete the whole thing in about two hours without leaving Makati.

We started at St. Andrew's in Bel-Air, where we usually go every Sunday, then we went to Sts. Peter and Paul along Burgos. Mass was being held by the time we got there, and the place was already packed.

From Poblacion, we went to Guadalupe. I was surprised to find that the Guadalupe Church (Nuestra Señora de Gracia Church) is so small when you're inside it. It is a beautiful church, and it still is a favorite for weddings and baptisms. Guadalupe and Sts. Peter and Paul are supposed to be two of the earliest churches established in the country. I suggest that you go there from JP Rizal, instead of from EDSA. Let's just say that you will feel safer, coming from JP Rizal.

From Guadalupe, we went to Santuario de San Antonio in Forbes Park. The driving distance between the two churches is nothing compared to the evident disparity between their respective communities and parishioners.

We then proceeded to Greenbelt, and that was the first time I ever saw Makati CBD at its most empty and boring. The only people in the area are the ones going to the church. We next went to Don Bosco, and lastly to the Shrine of the Sacred Heart in San Antonio. The short trip from Pasay Road to Dao was marked only by the heavy traffic along Kamagong. It became evident once we reached Dao that everybody was going to the same place.

I Know Evidence

. . . and I am NOT taking the goddam course again!

I rock.

MJ, HOF'er

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MJ's old college team, North Carolina, won its 5th NCAA title earlier today against Magic's alma mater Michigan State.

Magic-Bird, 30 Years Later

Greetings to All Alsallites!

It's your day, today!

/dev/null

I just realized that it is rather difficult to think of anything to write, the day after you tried, and failed, to recall and write down fifteen different conflict rules. Verbatim.

The Final Set Outtakes

The last time I saw a clueless entertainer get booed off his ass was when Carlos Agassi tried to rap during halftime of an Ateneo-La Salle game. So, I was not really surprised when a good number of the over 100,000 people at the MOA concert grounds let MTV VJs have it. Moreso after Anne Curtis confessed to being excited to hear "Tindahan ni Aling Nene." WTF.

Posers come in all shapes and sizes. Tim Yap, the self-proclaimed eventologist, exposed himself as a total poser when Ely Buendia put him on the spot at the end of the show and he promptly showed everybody that he has absolutely no idea how to sing Toyang correctly.