If It's Green, Flush It

Jack Byrnes: "My Mother", by Jack Byrnes. You gave me life, / You gave me milk, / You gave me courage. / Your name was Angela, / An angel from Heaven, / But you were also an angel of God, / And he needed you, too. / I selfishly tried to hold on to you, / While the cancer ate away at your organs, / Like an unstoppable rebel force, / And now we'll meet in Heaven, / And I shall see you / Nevermore, nevermore, nevermore.

Pam Byrnes: Dad, that's beautiful.

Greg Focker: That's amazing, so much love, and also so much information.

* * *

I have read my share of really ugly poems. Trust me, there are very few things in the known universe more horrible than a really bad attempt at writing poetry; and nobody is more pathetic than someone who is harboring some sad delusion, in his heart of hearts, that he can actually write poetry. Or anything at all, for that matter.

(This eureka moment has somehow confirmed, in a really weird and sick way, that birds of the same feather really do flock together.)

* * *

The 70th season of the UAAP is set to kick off on July 7. Most of the games will be held at the NAS, which means that I will probably be watching most the games on TV. The theme is "Recreating the Values of Honesty Through Sports." I don't know about you, but that to me is a swipe, made with all the subtlety and finesse of Lintang Bedol, directed at idiots who are known to falsify public documents to win ball games.

Most of the games in the first round will be played on Sundays. Which is good, because, I am mostly unavailable on Saturdays. The game against the PEP Test Squad is scheduled to played at the Big Dome on Thursday, July 26.

Pressure

Hi 165

"I do not mean to say that our liberty will be secured at the sword's point, for the sword plays but little part in modern affairs, but that we must secure it by making ourselves worthy of it, by exalting the intelligence and the dignity of the individual, by loving justice, right, and greatness, even to the extent of dying for them, -- and when a people reaches that height God will provide a weapon, the idols will be shattered, the tyranny will crumble like a house of cards and liberty will shine out like the first dawn.

"Our ills we owe to ourselves alone, so let us blame no one. If Spain should see that we were less complaisant with tyranny and more disposed to struggle and suffer for our rights, Spain would be the first to grant us liberty, because when the fruit of the womb reaches maturity woe unto the mother who would stifle it! So, while the Filipino people has not sufficient energy to proclaim, with head erect and bosom bared, its rights to social life, and to guarantee it with its sacrifices, with its own blood; while we see our countrymen in private life ashamed within themselves, hear the voice of conscience roar in rebellion and protest, yet in public life keep silence or even echo the words of him who abuses them in order to mock the abused; while we see them wrap themselves up in their egotism and with a forced smile praise the most iniquitous actions, begging with their eyes a portion of the booty -- why grant them liberty? With Spain or without Spain they would always be the same, and perhaps worse! Why independence, if the slaves of today will be the tyrants of tomorrow? And that they will be such is not to be doubted, for he who submits to tyranny loves it.

"Senor Simoun, when our people is unprepared, when it enters the fight through fraud and force, without a clear understanding of what it is doing, the wisest attempts will fail, and better that they do fail, since why commit the wife to the husband if he does not sufficiently love her, if he is not ready to die for her?"

- José Rizal, El Filibusterismo

C Minus Traveler

Created by Eugene Villar.

Travel Advisory

What better way to spend the weekend, and the last gasping moments of SCRA-free life, than to overexpose oneself to ultraviolet (UV) radiation at Puerto Galera. There, you can bask under the sun, enjoy the surf and the sand, eat, and maybe swim a little. Be carefree for a few precious hours.

We took the bus to the Batangas City Pier, where we will take a boat that will bring us directly to the White Beach. Once we arrived at Batangas Pier, we were welcomed by dozens of very boisterous locals, who incidentally, also happened to offer boat rides to Galera. Every fucking single one of them. They were all yapping at the same time, and were trying to outshout each other, making every single word they tried to say unintelligible. Well, except for the guy blocking the bus' only door, whose nostril was up my earlobe. You can almost swear they all had the boats up their asses.

It doesn't really change once you arrive at Galera. This time, they will be offering you places to stay. These people, for some unknown reason, cannot comprehend the word "No." (The armed forces should recruit these people.) They are a persistent and unrelenting lot. They are like the Energizer bunny, only less cute and a lot more annoying. In fairness though, the ones at Galera are the "gentler" kind. There is less screaming, but it is no less irritating.

We stayed at the aptly, and quite imaginatively, named "White Beach Hotel." It's not exactly Shangri-la, but they got cable TV, an A/C unit, and an electric fan. Once you turn on the A/C, you'd figure out what the fan is for. There is sufficient water pressure, and if you enjoy the smell of rust in your water, you'll love it there.

The scene at the beach is a virtual seaborne invasion, involving scores of tourists - like us - taking advantage of the three-day weekend, crossing the Verde Island Passage from Batangas to Mindoro. There are as many boats landing on the beach at any given time as there are hawkers back at Batangas. And they come every hour, most probably less. Since they have no other place to land but the beach, every single person on the water tries to stay alive by not becoming the iceberg to the M/B Commando 7's Titanic.

Freedom

. . . is just another word for nothing left to lose.

- Janis Joplin

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Salamat kay kelrudz sa pagpapakilala niya sa akin kay Janis Joplin sa pamamagitan ng kanyang sining.

I Know What You Did Last Summer

Technically, the break started last April 4. But, because of the uncanny ability of some people in our little corner in Diliman to bend time and space, in reality, it did not start until last Monday, when the last requirement was finally submitted. At least, I had the experience to tell me to enjoy it while it lasts, otherwise I would not have been able to get around finishing the following.

1. Watch the three threequels in movie theaters. In a span of a month, I was able to see Spiderman 3, Shrek 3, and Pirates of the Carribean 3, in theaters. That's three more than all the previous ten months combined. (I'm pathetic. Yes I know.)

2. Play as much NBA Live as I want.

3. Witness LeBron James in one of the best playoff performances of a basketball player since some guy named Michael Jordan. In a tight game 5 contest before a hostile crowd, James scored 29 of the Cavaliers' last 30 points, including its last 25, and all the Cavs' 18 points in the two overtimes to finish with 48 points. They won the game 109-107, and eventually finished the series at home in Game 6.

4. Finish the second season of Prison Break, and the first season of Heroes. Prison Break was a lot better when it was simply about breaking out of prison. But, yeah, Hiro is the Man.

5. Blog. A lot.

Unlike some of my more illustrious classmates, I did not get to dance onstage in my swimwear before thousands of screaming Mexicans. Though I sincerely doubt if anyone in his right mind would pay good money, or any amount of money, to see that.

Game Time

The Philippine National Basketball Team, or Team Pilipinas, as expected, has beaten the living organic fertilizer out of the rest of the field in the just concluded Southeast Asian Basketball Association (SEABA) men's championship in Thailand. The RP team beat the host country by a measly 20 points last night, after winning its first three games by an average of 44 points.

With the win, the country booked a slot to the Olympic qualifier in Tokushima, Japan, where the next step to bringing Philippine basketball back into the Olympics will take place. There, Asi Taulava (apparently Pinoy) and company would have the privilege of having their behinds whooped by Yao Ming.

It is great to see the Philippines participating, and winning, in international cage meets again, after the debacle that the BAP brought upon us a couple of years ago. I really don't know why it took so long to get rid of the idiots who made up that sissy-ass entity, who insisted on sending inter-barangay champions to international meets, while the best ballers in the country, who are all incidentally playing in the PBA, are ignored.

Congratulations Team Pilipinas. Hopefully, not one of you will run for Congress.

Sore Wa Kibouteki Kansoku Da

Don't you just wish that, sometimes, we could be more like the Japanese?

TOKYO -- Japan's farm minister Toshikatsu Matsuoka, who has been embroiled in a scandal over political donations, died Monday after a suicide attempt, police said.

"He died at 2:00 p.m. (0500 GMT)," a police spokesman said.

The minister had faced allegations that he reported large utility expenses for a government office building.

If sometimes, we were more like the Japanese, in one fell swoop, this country would be rid of corruption:

(1) without having to deal with extradition issues;
(2) without unnecessarily clogging the court dockets;
(3) without needing to cajole 79 tongressmen to sign an impeachment complaint.

---
Report from Agence France-Presse.
Japanese translation by Pekto.

Foma*

"The business of a law school is not sufficiently described when you merely say that it is to teach law, or to make lawyers. It is to teach law in the grand manner, and to make great lawyers."

- Holmes

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*Foma are harmless untruths, intended to comfort simple souls.

Wampeters*

1. We've got it all for you!

"The construction of the Php 700-million SM City in a four-hectare lot at the new central business district of Naga City will start before the end of August this year, according to Hans Sy, president of SM Prime Holdings, the largest mall operator in the country."

There goes the neighborhood. Ha!

Seriously though, this is great. A mall. In Naga. Starting December 2008, there will be an actual, real mall within Naga City. Can you believe that? I think I'm repeating myself.

2. Adultery and Concubinage

The news programs and everybody else should really stop glorifying the supposed adulterous affair between the Songbird and the Big Bird. C'mon now. The entertainment rumor-mongers of both GMA and ABS-CBN have been fanning the flames on this for so long and so often, I could almost already swear that this will in some way affect the GNP. What the fuck? The Big Bird has already announced that he will make an announcement (not a typo) sometime soon. No need to remind the viewing public of this future, insignificant non-event every single fucking day. Nobody even knows what the freaking announcement will be about.

By the way, just in case you missed out on the news about Moses and those two big tablets, adultery is a sin. Last time I checked it's still way up there in the list.

---
*A wampeter is an object around which the lives of many otherwise unrelated people may revolve.

Mamacita!

In what may be the best news story of the week, INQ7.net has just reported that Angel Locsin will star in a local adaptation of the telenovela that started it all - Marimar.

With her action adventure series “Asian Treasures” set to end in June, Angel Locsin will portray a character that started the telenovela craze in the 1990s—“Marimar.”

According to the article:

Another challenge for the actress would be specific scenes that require her to display her dancing and singing skills.

I'm not really too keen on the singing part, but if I remember my telenovela experience, the dancing portion should be worth looking out for.

You Had It Coming

Yesterday, I tried to be a good citizen and trooped to the polls. My vote was an attempt to make a statement against the helplessness of this government to protect its very citizens against forced disappearances, abductions, and summary executions.

I voted for alumni of only three institutions of higher learning (the third being the PMA). It was not by design - I just noticed it after I came up with my final list. This criterion alone eliminated all card-carrying members of the Katipunan ng mga Artistang Pilipino sa Pelikula at Telebisyon. This makes any and all discussions on the merits of having more actors, to add to the likes of Lito Lapid and Bong Revilla, in the Senate, moot and academic. Lito Lapid, by the way, is currently experiencing his worst political defeat ever, against Makati mayor Jojo Binay. Carlo J. Caparas might just be interested to make a film about it.

I am no vegetarian, hence I did not "plant" anybody in the Senate. The thought of "planting" a particular candidate may have actually led vegetarians to forsake the practice altogether.

I did not vote for anybody who had the temerity to be quoted as saying "Yes, it is the voice of the President, but that is not the President talking." I loved Nineteen Eighty-Four, but I am not really a fan of doublespeak. Unlike Winston Smith, I do not love Big Brother. I think one loony in the Senate is enough. Although, I must say, it must be in the genes.

Mail Call

The following was copied verbatim from my Inbox. Read on.

sang sulat para kay Kuya Jay (May 7, 2007)

Tol,

Sana pinapabasa ka nila ng dyaryo.

Sana umabot sayo ang mensaheng ito.

Alam naming mahirap ang sitwasyon mo ngayon. Alam din namin na nagaalala ka sa pamilya. Ayos ang mag-ina. Matibay na hinaharap ng mag-uutol ang sitwasyon. At bibilib ka sa husay ni moms. Magu-gulat ka sa dami ng suporta. Kasama ang mga kaibigan, sama-sama naming hinaharap ang struggle na to.

Naalala mo nung kinulong si erpats, di natinag ang pamilya. Ngayon sa krisis na hinaharap natin lalong di matitinag ang pamilya. Huwag kang magalit na kinukwento namin sa mga kaibigan ang pagkain mo ng tutubi, ang pagiging pasaway mo nung bata ka pa. Kasi kailangan nila malaman na tao ka at di hayop tulad ng ginawa ng mga dumukot sayo.

Gusto ko lang sabihin sa'yo na tibayan mo ang loob mo. Tandaan mo na ang iyong paniniwala at paninindigan ay para sa nakakarami. Masmahusay at masmatapang ka sa mga may hawak sayo. Mga duwag at traydor ang dumukot sayo. Kung anuman ang ginagawa sayo para balewalain ang pagkatao mo ay alam mong mas tao ka kaysa sa pinapamukha nila sayo. Tibayan mo ang loob mo dahil nasa tama kang paninindigan. Huwag na huwag kang mag-aalala sa min. Ayos kami. At pinagyayabang ka namin. Isa kang mabuting tao at sinisigaw naming yan sa buong mundo.

Konting tiis pa tol at magkakasama nating titingnan ang pagsikat ng araw!

Para sa bayan!!! At para sa lahat ng biktima ng paglabag ng karapatang pantao!!!

JL

Si JL Burgos ay nakababatang kapatid ni Jay-Jay at isa sa mga unang naging miyembro ng UGAT Lahi. Siya ay isang visual artist at video editor. Isa sa mga walang sawang nakikiisa, tumutulong at nakikibahagi sa pagsisimula ng tutoK karapatan.

Si jay-jay ay si Jonas Burgos. Anak ng yumaong Jose Burgos tagapagtatag ng We Forum at Malaya newspaper mga independenteng puklikasyon ng panahon ng diktaduryang Marcos. Pinaniniwalaang dinukot ng elemento ng militar nuong Abril 28 2007 sa Ever Gotesco Mall sa Commonwealth si Jonas.

Tonight at Noon

ABS-CBN should really refrain from using the word "scholar" in connection with its reality shows. Its rather liberal use of the word is an insult to all real scholars who roam the Earth, and every single time I hear the word used alongside the letters P, D and A, I want to go out, find Lauren Dyogi, and slap him silly.

Summer Tunes

Totoy kumilos ka, baliktarin ang tatsulok
Tulad ng dukha, nailagay mo sa tuktok
- Tatsulok

I got myself a copy of the second volume of Ateneo's Martial Law series for my usual summer reading a couple of weeks ago. I finished it in two nights. So much for summer reading. To fill the void, I decided to reward myself with a copy of Bamboo's latest offering, instead.

We Stand Alone Together, Bamboo's third album, is a fine mix of covers ranging from the 80s protest anthem Tatsulok (yes, it's not a new song) to Metropop winner Umagang Kay Ganda; from the Carole King classic So Far Away to Pearl Jam's Alive. It is social commentary and romantic ditty, popular and alternative, jazz and rock, old and new, all in one neat package. (One of the OPM remakes, Probinsyana, was written by Alex Cruz of Anak Bayan, the father of the band's guitarist Ira Cruz.)

Note that the album also includes a live version of Sting's Englishman in New York. Don't bother looking for it in the track listing because it's not there. Personally though, I think this song alone, is worth the CD's tag price. There is also a second CD, which you can play if you want to make good music with the band. It has five songs played three times, alternately without Ira, Nathan and Vic.

The Simple Life

It was refreshing to see most of the people of CSD all together in one place, for the first time since I left almost four years ago. Aside from the number and size of their kids, it seemed as if nothing has changed. It was as if time stopped in this little part of the world, and things remained the way they were since the middle of June 2003. It could make one wax nostalgic about the good old days, when there were no deadlines, no obnoxious clients, no clueless superiors, and you were answerable only to the registrar come the end of the semester.

It was the lowest paying enterprise that I have ever gone into. But, to this day, it remains as the most enjoyable. In what other job in the world can you have the opportunity of shooting each other up within the confines of your cubicle for most of the compensable eight hours you spend on campus? Where else can you confidently come to class as you are, the dress code notwithstanding, because the chair has the same taste in fashion as you do? Where else can you satisfy your urge to play with all kinds of unlicensed software from dusk to dawn - for free? My only regret is that I have learned about the Socratic Method too late in life. It would have made life so much easier back then.

But, I miss the people the most. I worked and played with those souls for the longest period of time more than anybody else. I have gotten myself attached to the place so much so that I wouldn't have left if not for one unfortunate decision that I did not even make. Most of them are still there, apparently enjoying it much more than I did before. Some people have since pursued other career options on the side; some of them are still collecting letters to append to their names. Some of them are now getting physically better. A has come back last year, and is reportedly going to be the Dean come June. I was also told that J would be heading the department soon, to which I can only say this:

Lock and load.

Reclusion Perpetua

Weng and I are off to Naga this weekend to attend a friend's wedding. It's about freaking time. You see, it took them only about 10 years before both of them decided to finally tie the knot. Just for perspective, they have been dating for maybe three years or so, before I met my then future wife. Well, at least, we know that they really thought about this very seriously. We can also rest assured that they are entering into this special contract knowing fully well all its effects and consequences, both having taken up law, and presumably familar with the Family Code. For his own health and physical integrity, I also would like to remind the groom of the significance of Art. 247 of the Revised Penal Code.

I spent the last five months or so listening to an old fart make the same old jokes about his marriage and his wife, week after week. The jokes were admittedly funny (at least for the first two times you hear them). But, when you think about it, marriage is really not so bad. Really (Granted there are others out there who will swear otherwise). Although I have to submit that he has a valid point about how the wedding ring restricts the circulation ("of the blooooood!"). Of course, when you really get tempted to take it off to uhm, permit circulation, you can always remember Art. 247, supra.

Speaking of wedding rings, after the four-hour funfest last weekend, I went to the marketplace that is SM Megamall to have my eyeglasses fixed. Weng went there later and we decided to finally have our names inscribed on our wedding rings - over three years after the fact. The delay was not deliberate on our part - we simply have not gotten around to doing it for the past three years. I was thinking to have "Oh my God, what have I done?!" inscribed, but it looked like the words wouldn't fit.

I was kidding. Really.

More Ads

I never thought I'd see a worse TV commercial than that of Mekeni Food Products, until I saw the ad for Arthro Food Supplement. Until you see it with your own two eyes, you wouldn't believe somebody would be so stupid as to show something like that on TV.

In the ad, a rather unfortunate old man, apparently in really bad shape, testifies before your very eyes how sick he is, while his pitiable condition is shown onscreen. At that point, you are expecting him to drop dead anytime soon. But no. Due to the miracle that is Arthro Food Supplement, the still unfortunate old man, obviously still in really bad shape, is next shown doing something which oddly resembles jogging (or maybe he's trying to kill himself, I can't really tell), and unconvincingly proclaims "Ayan! Ang lakas ko!"

Whoever came up with that ad, should be fired, shot and quartered, not necessarily in that order. I saw pretty horrible ads in my life - from a toothpaste ad asking the entire family "How do you brush your teeth?" to a cowboy with an unmistakable American twang asserting the efficacy of a mosquito coil in the vernacular - but this one, hands down, takes not only the freaking cake, but the entire bakery with it.

Die, Bitch, Die

"Ikaw ang kanlungan sa kahirapan/ Ikaw ang pagasa at kinabukasan/ Haplos mo ay lunas sa bawat pagal/ Ikaw ang dampi ng pagmamahal: PCSO."

There really are only a few things in TV that are a notch higher than mediocre, so you don't really expect the extraordinary, and you don't exactly turn on the tube hoping that the networks would cut down the tele-fanta-sine-seryes and whatnot, and show something intelligent for a change.

So, there are really, really very few things in TV nowadays that would arouse one's senses and stir one's blood into murderous rage.

Take for instance, PCSO's ad. This is slowly becoming to be the most annoying, infuriating, fingernails against the blackboard-type ad ever created by man. The lyrics of the song are probably the most juvenile and pathetic lines of futile attempts at basic poetry that I have ever heard in my life. Whoever came up with this shit must be high on something really very cheap. Either that or they did not have enough monkeys and typewriters.

But no, it doesn't end there. In the ad, while the band (which nobody in the country has ever heard of, but now has more airtime than Parokya ni Edgar) is adeptly demonstrating exactly why nobody has ever heard of them, GMA is portrayed in various poses of care and concern. I don't know shit about psychology, but with the lyrics of the "song" and her face together, it's almost diabolical.