Five-and-Oh

Today is the feast day of St. Ignatius of Loyola.

On this day two years ago, during what came to be known as "The Larry Game," the Blue Eagles came back from a 20-point deficit, to beat the Adamson Falcons by three points on an LA Tenorio buzzer beater. It was probably the most improbable comeback I have seen live on the basketball floor, and to this day, remains one of the most memorable Ateneo games I have ever seen.

(The most memorable game would be the one played way back in 1994, when a bunch of unknowns from Loyola beat one of the best basketball teams to ever come out of La Salle.)

So I figured yesterday would be a good day for Ateneo basketball. Too good, in fact, that I set II Tolentino aside until after the final buzzer. Until yesterday, the Eagles were winning by an average margin of four points and change. Their last three games were not decided until the last two minutes of the game. (It's not really the sport to follow if you have a heart condition.) Yesterday, as if on cue, the Eagles beat the title-favorite UE Warriors. As early as the second quarter. They couldn't have possibly chosen a better day to finally win one convincingly.


It was a great all-around game for the Hail Mary squad. Escalona led the scoring with 14 points, including a back-breaking three after the Warriors almost closed the gap down to six. JC Intal had 10 assists (on top of 12 points and 8 rebounds). Nine eagles scored five points or more. (The Warriors' fifth-leading scorer, Martinez, sizzled with 3 points.)

OBF.

(This, by the way, is my 100th post. Yahoo.)

Photo courtesy of www.fabilioh.com.

Sincerity

In yesterday's State of the Nation Address, GMA said:

Sa mga lalawigang sakop ng 7th Division, nakikibaka sa kalaban si Jovito Palparan. Hindi siya aatras hanggang makawala sa gabi ng kilabot ang mga pamayanan at maka-ahon sa bukang-liwayway ng hustisya at kalayaan.

In the same breath, she said:

In the harshest possible terms I condemn political killings. We together stopped judicial executions with the abolition of the death penalty. We urge witnesses to come forward. Together we will stop extrajudicial executions.

You read it right, she condemned political killings immediately after she praised Palparan. As the AM radio commentator said this morning, "Yan ang presidente: sincere!"

Study Now, Pray Later

This is what happens when you do not read the commentaries for the entire first half of the term; when all you did, every week, was cram all the 15 or so assigned cases into your head a good 15 hours before class. (That would be a neat ratio of one case per hour, if you discount the fact that you still have to sleep, eat something and take a shower before going to class) You will try to absorb as much crap as De Leon could toss at you, in the shortest amount of time humanly possible.

So, many thanks to Glenda, or to Gloria, for suspending Property today, and to whatever organization which is the causa of us having no Consti 2 on Tuesday. I will have some more spare time within which I can allow De Leon to eliminate as much of my functioning brain cells as possible.

But, I still have two weeks, right? Yes. It would have been perfect if all classes are suspended until August 4, and if there are no make-up classes to screw your schedule up until then. But, of course classes, as life, go on and according to Scaebolah, "as far as your professors are concerned, you are the lowest possible life form." So there. My boss, on the other hand, is already giving me the look after I told him that I really, really need to be absent from work on August 3 and 4. Well, I can get sick, you know?

* * *

The R.A. Gapuz Review Center placed an ad in the Inquirer last Saturday, proudly proclaiming that they placed the most number of reviewees in the top ten of the nursing board examinations.

I am not sure if that is a sick joke, considering that it has already admitted that it gave its students a document containing exam topics the day before the June 11 and 12 nursing board examinations, which turned out to be, allegedly, handwritten samples of the tests.

According to the Inquirer, Ray Gapuz, founder of the review center, said he did not know if the 18-page manuscript was a “leak” and if it actually contained the exact questions in the licensing exams. But when asked if the topics in the document had appeared in the June 11 and 12 exam, Gapuz replied: “Allegedly, sabi nila (That’s what they say).”

I don't know about you. But, if my review center manages to get a copy of the actual exam questions before the actual exams, placing the most number of reviewees in the top ten is probably the least that it can do. Like, hallouer!!!

Detour

A blogger, who turned out to be the wife of one of UP's assistant coaches, remarked that:

My two beloved alma maters slugged it out at the Ninoy Aquino stadium last Sunday. Either way I'd win. But when it comes to the hardcourt, I'm a Maroon. (I'm an Eagle only in the moot court.)

Well, I personally know some people who can emphatize with her completely. Only sometimes, "when it comes to the hardcourt," it's the other way around.

(One Big Fight!)

The State of the Nation

When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.

When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.

When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.

When they came for the Jews,
I did not speak out;
I was not a Jew.

When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.

- Martin Niemöller, First they came...

The following is from the online petition for the immediate release of Sherlyn Cadapan and Karen Empeño. It is posted on the Philippine Collegian 2006-2007 website.

On June 26, 2006, bonnet-wearing armed men, suspected elements of the 7th Infantry Division, forcibly entered a house of local folk in Hagonoy, Bulacan and forcibly abducted Sherlyn, Karen and Manuel Merino, a local farmer. The armed men introduced themselves as ‘vigilantes.’

Sherlyn, who is two months pregnant, was hit in the stomach as she was shouting for help. Witnesses related that the armed men removed Karen’s shirt and used it to cover her face. They dragged the two women outside and rode off in a passenger jeepney vehicle.

Until now, Sherlyn and Karen have not yet surfaced. While the military denied their involvement in their forced disappearance, Major Gen. Jovito Palparan, head of the 7th ID, immediately accused them as members of the New People’s Army. In a statement released after the abduction, Gen. Palparan insultingly said that ‘they are better off gone.’

Sherlyn and Karen are student volunteers who went to Bulacan to conduct research on the peasant situation in the province. They are also known student leaders from the University of the Philippines (UP).

Sherlyn is an award-winning triathlete and a former College of Human Kinetics representative to the UP Diliman Student Council. Karen, on the other hand, is a Sociology major who was conducting research in the province for the completion of her thesis. They are also active members of Anakbayan and League of Filipino Students, respectively. These youth organizations have been maliciously tagged as ‘communist front organizations’ by the Armed Forces of the Philippines.

Eric Salamat, Your Table is Ready

Photo courtesy of www.fabilioh.com.

Opening Day

For the uninitiated, please be advised that during college basketball games, people do usually stand up from time to time. Some of the spectators can be observed clapping, cheering, screaming, and sometimes even cursing the zebras. Do not panic. Note that this is far from being weird. It is normal. Most specially, when the spectators are rooting for one of the teams to win (which is usually the case). You are there, along with all the people at your side of the arena, precisely, to express your shared conviction that, you are God's chosen people and the folks on the other side are the scum of the earth. (Incidentally, when we play against morons, we rarely, if ever, sit down. The seats are there for time outs. Needless to say, we will get to sit a lot this year.)

Last weekend was opening day. We were playing the traditional doormats, so there wasn't really much to stand up for. I stood up along with a number of people in my row early in the fourth, when somebody tapped me from behind, and asked that I, ehem, sit down. Look, I have no problem giving in to polite requests of nice folks who do not share the same passion and excitement that I have for a silly game (who by the way could have stayed home, watched the game on TV and saved 120 pesos in the process). But, it's an entirely different matter for folks who talk to you as if you just decapitated their dog.

So I looked at her, and gave her this terrified look - like I was looking at the face of Evil itself. I think I even managed to get a chuckle or two from her young alalay. Later in the game, when the Hail Mary team sank a flurry of baskets to seal the win, and everybody was on their feet, I turned around, faced the nice lady, and gave her the best Michael Jordan (circa 1992 vs. Portland, when all His Airness' threes were going in) impression that I could muster.

Hey, what can I do?

Nice Try

Shortly after it was found out that a PEP test review center has actually been fielding high school dropouts and high school equivalency test flunkers in basketball games for two years running, and after the "negligent" school was subsequently suspended from league play for one year, mudslinging suddenly moved up a notch, and some people just started to come up with rumors, blind items and libelous accusations, clearly indicating but one thing: desperate idiots are scary.

A few weeks ago, the same rumors were published in two national broadsheets. Everybody, of course, had an idea as to who was behind the demolition job, but unlike idiots, we prefer to have something to back our statements up. Being the ingenious Ateneans that we are, somebody (it was only a matter of time) was able to obtain a copy of the facsimile that was sent to the press. And being the idiots that they are, they, of course, conveniently used their own fax machine, which ID function was likewise conveniently enabled.

The header said "02.523.4295 DLS PSI GSB." Feel free to "Google it!"

* * *

The 69th season of the UAAP, incidentally, will open tomorrow at the Araneta Coliseum. Ateneo will play the NU Bulldogs at 4PM. The Taft PEP Test Review Center will play with itself.

Big Ben and the Bulls

As a long-time Chicago sports fan, let me just share with you reports from ESPN, that Big Ben is driving east to Chicago, to play for da Bulls.

The biggest free-agent prize of the NBA offseason appears to be off the market. Ben Wallace has informed the Pistons he will sign with the Bulls, Insider Chad Ford reports. The deal is believed to be $52M for four years.

The Bulls now have an all-star center (which says a lot about centers in the East), to go along with the young backcourt tandem of Hinrich and Gordon, and wingmen Deng and Nocioni. Add 2006 draft 4th pick overall Tyrus Thomas and the perenially-underachieving Chandler, and we suddenly have a promising 2006-07 season.

C'mon. Crazier things have happened.

News and Current Affairs

During the course of the 2006 NBA playoffs, I noticed that ABC-5 was giving updates on the said playoffs, a full day late. In other words, they were giving NBA game results, that have already been delivered by the other channels, published on the Internet, broadcast on a delayed basis by local networks, and dissected by employees by the water cooler, a full day before. And I thought, it couldn't possibly be worse than that. Right.

During one of the timeouts in the SMB-RB semifinal game last night, I was able to catch a news update from ABC-5, this time about the 2006 World Cup. Firstly, the newsreader, adeptly pronounced the name of the sport's governing body as fai-fa. Miss, it's fee-fa. Repeat after me: fee-fa. Secondly, Rio de Janeiro is not the capital of Brazil. Brasilia is.

I don't know if ABC-5 has a research department, but I'm really more disappointed with the second blunder above, than with the first (it's forgivable, we don't watch football). You really don't need to pass Social Studies, or understand what those big stars on the map stand for, to get the name of the capital of Brazil right. Any idiot, can simply watch that film classic, I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, and get this little factoid right.

"Destabilizers"

Not only are we going to pass Consti; by God, we are going to do it in a well-groomed manner.

Photo courtesy of Inq7.net

First Day Low

What was once a group that reached a high of around 45 people has been, sadly, decimated down to, reportedly, 18 souls. Based on what little I can remember from Probability Theory, I believe that this does not bode well for one's chances of not getting called on to humiliate oneself.

But, aside from the almost mathematical certainty that the cocktail party phenomenon will manifest itself six days a week, there is still a more compelling reason for tempering our exuberance, or at least, what is left of it. The rest of the 45 people who have moved on, were, most importantly, friends and colleagues, who shared in a rather unique experience that can, perhaps, be compared to the military's boot camp. They are talented people who took, and passed, what is probably the most exacting qualifying examination of any academic institution in the country. They have moved on, either temporarily or permanently, because they

a. happened to enrol one year too early, missing Aga's class in LegHis in the process.

b. dropped Method, along with a number of people, apparently enough to constitute a critical mass, giving the professor enough incentive to pass all the 10 people who were courageous, crazy, or lucky enough to have stuck with it.

c. did not pay enough attention to Bib lessons, particularly to those concerning citations.

d. was forced not to enlist in Method, after being placed on probation, after being screwed for not having citations.

e. a and b.

f. c and d.

g. all of the above.

h. none of the above.

P.S.

Repeat after me. "The equal protection of the laws."

Nirvana

If you were watching TV as much as I have over the summer, you couldn't have possibly missed that feminine wash ad where the girls are so ecstatic it drove one of them to do a little jig, and another to do cartwheels.

Let me say at the onset, that biological circumstances do not permit me to patronize their product. I have, however, normal sisters and female friends, who on occasion, talk about their stuff. I am glad that, to this day, I have never had the grief of watching otherwise normal people, so driven to euphoria by their feminine wash, ending up utterly helpless to resist the seemingly primal urge to do cartwheels.

The whole ad is stupid. The whole freaking cast was absolutely giddy at the thought of using the product, that they all appeared like prepubescent teens on a pajama party talking about their first, likewise prepubescent, boyfriends.

The stupid ad is not, however, totally bereft of any merit or redeeming value. If anything, it could serve as excellent material, for the government's campaign against the use of illegal drugs.

* * *

Props up to PDI for devoting a page of their paper yesterday to an alternative universe front page. The whole page was written in Español, with the headline saying it all: "Viva el Rey!" The paper's mascot "Torito" is introduced in the page's ear. It also had a picture of what appears to be the Rizal Monument in Luneta, only that the man immortalized in bronze is not Rizal, but somebody who appears to be a Spanish conquistador on his horse. Yesterday, by the way, was Independence Day.

Don't Panic

All the important numbers are in. Although two of the numbers are still unofficial, they were pried out from rather credible sources. If the numbers and my math turn out to be correct, then, starting next Tuesday, I should be able to enjoy, at least, another year of fear, terror, and doubt. Not necessarily in that order.

So tomorrow, I shall again witness, and participate in, one of the most disorganized and chaotic activities ever designed by man - registration at Malcolm Hall.

Don't get me wrong. There is a line. It just somehow degenerates into one big mass of people converging at the Office of the College Secretary a few minutes before 8 am. This, in a place were lines are supposedly "sacred," where people are studying rules which apply to all!

I am not really hoping for any major miracle. I am resigned to the fact that the college will probably produce two more presidents before they do anything about this mess. But I am hoping that tomorrow, people will exhibit some common decency, and just fucking fall in line.

Erratum

I mentioned the other day that the vehicle, owned by a provincial governor, that was blown to kingdom come was a Hummer H3, which costs, at least, US$29,500.00 or Php1.56M.

I was wrong on two counts.

First, the vehicle was a Hummer H2 - not a Hummer H3. Second, it costs, at least, US$53,855.00 or Php2.85M - not a paltry Php1.56M.

My bad.

Abracadabra

Gloria berated DepEd OIC Fe Hidalgo the other day, for presenting numbers on classroom shortage in the public schools, which, while true, are significantly different from how the Malacanang-resident saw them, or wanted them to appear.

Hidalgo said she used the pupil-classroom ratio of 45 to 1 in her report. This prompted the President to raise her voice as she told the acting education secretary that they had previously agreed to use the ratio of 100 to 1.

If anything, Gloria's ranting and raving clearly shows what everyone else in this country knows - that Assumption-bred Gloria was never, ever enrolled in a public elementary or high school in this country, and therefore, has no idea whatsoever about what she is talking about.

I also have no clue as to where they came up with this so-called "two-shift policy," or who came up with it. I'm pretty sure Gloria did not get it from Assumption because it is not implemented there - or any other private school, for that matter. I don't know why. Maybe because the shifts are pedagogically unsound, and are actually detrimental to the students' health and safety, but that's just a wild guess. The government, apparently, doesn't care, as long as it can show that it is implementing measures to meet, albeit virtually, the classroom shortage.

Yesterday, a provincial governor's vehicle was bombed. The governor survived but his two aides were killed. I wasn't really paying too much attention to the news, until the governor's lawyer announced to the nation what the vehicle was. It was a Hummer H3. You know, the one that would set you back, at least, US$29,500.00 (or Php1.56M). Actually, I think I'll get one later today.

(One dollar = 52.85 pesos)

Stories and Tall Tales

I have it.

I was at the Power Plant Mall last night to meet Weng and her sister. After spending a couple of hours doing nothing but walk behind them, I decided to check out Fully Booked.

I was pleasantly surprised to find an open copy of John Irving's latest novel Until I Find You. Incidentally, yesterday was the release date of the book's paperback edition in the United States, so I did not expect to find one here this soon. I was about to ask the staff for another copy, when one of them walked towards me, carrying among others, the only remaining copy of the book in the store. Hooray.

The book is surprisingly thick. It turns out that, at over 800 pages, it is Irving's longest novel to date. I'll probably start reading it later tonight, as I only have roughly two weeks left, before all leisure reading gets suspended until after late October.

From the academic dishonesty department: the writers of Smallville and Terminator are looking for the person who came up with the idea of plagiarizing their stories, coming up with an unspeakably stupid Smallville-meets-Terminator storyline, and calling it Captain Barbell. There is no word yet as to whether or not Mars Ravelo has started spinning in his grave.

Dear Joe

My inbox currently has an item with the subject "Joe d' Mango Story." It is supposedly Joe's own story - his own "love problem." It is basically the same sappy third-party story that he has written about countless times in the past (not that I read them), only this time, the man, or the mango, is actually involved.

I do not know what makes the venerable Joe qualified to give advice to all these semi-suicidal, presumably, otherwise normal people, that all of them, for all these years, go to him for help. Why not, for instance, write to Xerex Xaviera instead? I hear he also writes about other people's "love problems."

In my opinion, one does not need go further than our laws to solve these problems. For instance, in the Revised Penal Code, you will find:

Art. 247. Death or physical injuries inflicted under exceptional circumstances. — Any legally married person who having surprised his spouse in the act of committing sexual intercourse with another person, shall kill any of them or both of them in the act or immediately thereafter, or shall inflict upon them any serious physical injury, shall suffer the penalty of destierro.

If he shall inflict upon them physical injuries of any other kind, he shall be exempt from punishment.

Nobody could have said it any better. The person who came up with this provision is a freaking genius. While this may not solve all kinds of "love problems" (the courts will probably construe "sexual intercourse" strictly, eliminating a host of other similar exciting acts from the provision's coverage), it's still sounds much better than all that "letting go" crap.

Freedom! Forever!

Remember, remember, the 5th of November
The Gunpowder Treason and plot;
I know of no reason why Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.

Yes, I just watched the film (on dibidi, of course) last weekend. Better late than never. It's so good and so timely, that all Filipinos should be required by law to watch it. "People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people." Now that's a tagline. Definitely, way better than "A brutal murder. A brilliant killer. A cop who can't resist the danger."

Dito ako may kapayapaan
Dito ang buhay ko'y may katuturan
Dito sa piling ng aking bayan
Kapwa'y paglilingkuran

I also discovered last Friday that SALIGAN has a "branch" over at Naga City. Cool. Now I know that there is more than one way of becoming a starving professional in Naga. You see, I realize more and more each day that this Makati corporate shit is not for me. Right now, I'm sticking with it only because it pays the bills. Loving it? You have got to be kidding me.

I guess it's the promdi in me. There's still nothing like being home before Mike Enriquez' funny voice startles the living crap out of everybody who's watching the news. Or going to work without having to endure the horrible traffic. And the more horrible body odor of the guy standing right next to you. On a cramped train (think Amazing Race). And there is something to be said about living in a place where your home is within walking distance of practically everything you need; where, for at least one day every year, you can go into anybody's house and eat, gratis, to your heart's, and more importantly, to your stomach's, content. Granting that crime is everywhere these days, I'd still prefer to live in a place where if somebody steals something from you, chances are, you know who the culprit is.

So, one day five years from now, I'll take Raul Gonzales' advice to the Batasan 5, and head for the hills once more. Yup. Sounds like a plan.

Quote of the Day

I can only please one person a day.
Today is not your day.
Tomorrow's not looking good, either.