Dear Miss Manners

Q: X, at the pain of sounding demanding, is this correct - i bid 225 points for friday am ola and still got thursday am!? :(

A: hi Y,Z also has a similar problem. But I think we can work it out - OLA was one of the subjects which wasn't part of the required class demand survey the ARC and STRAW released a couple of weeks back. With a class demand survey kasi, we'll be able to find out before hand how many slots we should allocate per section. For OLA, since this didn't happen, Prof. A just estimated that there'll be about 115 students taking OLA (and this 115 will be divided by the 10 teams). Pero after the run was conducted, nalaman namin na about 7 or 8 students and hindi nabigyan ng slots. This means that the admin underestimated the demand for OLA. Prof. A was ready to make arrangements for the 7 or 8 students when we realized this problem earlier tonight. But I suggest that you send him an email na rin at [email] just so he knows. But I can help talk to Prof. A about this during reg. Pakipaaalala lang sa akin.thanks,- X

But, of course, it wasn't because they underestimated the demand. It was because the program they were using had so many bugs in it, you could have asked your local pest exterminator to clean it up.

The 225 points that Y bid above turned out to be the second-highest bid for the section. Y, along with the person who bid the highest bid (at 238) were "waterfalled" to another section, while the person with the third-highest bid (201) did not get a slot at all. Meanwhile, people who bid 90 and 60 points got the slots. So, how the fuck did this happen?

Presumably, in their desire to "improve" the registration process, and perhaps the performance of the college in general, they decided to implement new rules during registration (subject, of course, to new rules which were later implemented as they went along their merry way). Some of these are: that "crossovers" between day and evening sections will no longer be allowed and, that day students have priority over evening students on day subjects and vice versa.

When every single evening student who bid for the same subject got squat regardless of the number of points bid, you don't need to look at the source code to see that the system fucked up. Electives and OLA sections were all classified as "day" subjects, in effect, putting priority on the bids of day students above those of evening students. The result, as with all programs running with bugs, is garbage.

Given the time constraints and the indefinite requirements given them, I would say that the programmers did a relatively good job. I am assuming that undergraduate students wrote the code. To properly put all this into perspective, consider that undergraduate "machine problems" are usually given one month before the deadline. The requirements should already be clear and well-defined at this time: these requirements are what the programmers will test against. Students, of course, usually start working on these only about two weeks before the deadline. In an ideal situation, the code is tested against all possible scenarios (i.e. a stress test) presented by the requirements before it goes into production. (There is a reason why computer professionals use the word "user" when they mean "idiot".) If you don't, and the program encounters a scenario that it doesn't recognize at run-time, then you are really fucked up. Remember that for software, repair costs increase if they leak downstream - they increase tenfold with each lifecycle phase.

Computer programs are predictable. They will do what you ask them to do. If you, for example, in your sheer genius, decide that a specific set of students get higher priority over another set of students on a specific set of classes, the program will do exactly that. It will not discriminate and will not make any distinction for you. For example, regardless of the fact that day and evening students alike, take OLA and elective subjects on equal footing, the program will not recognize that until you tell it to.

They should have properly tested the program before hoisting it upon an unsuspecting studentry. Next time, they should also publish the results. Meanwhile, I have to hope and pray that I don't have to go through this shit ever again.

Hope Springs Eternal *

Payment Status: Paid for 1st Semester, 2009-10
Priority: Graduating for 2nd Semester, 2009-10

The past few weeks have been very hectic due, in no small part, to all the slacking I did for the past five months. From the start of June up to the end of October, in what I correctly predicted beforehand as the best semester ever, I barely stayed up late to read any thick, grossly overpriced, hardbound book on various esoteric subjects, written by very old men who are probably full of themselves, if at all.

Of course, I also had the good fortune to find an available slot for PIL under Dean P. before the semester started. Otherwise, it would have been Paracetamol Monday all over again for me. Looking back, I think I am very blessed to have been able to take that course before the college changed the enlistment rules again. Looking forward, you can bet your glutes I am thanking all the gods everywhere that I will be gone before they decide to make it more disorganized than it already is.

Next semester wouldn't be as easy though. For one, we'll be doing internship again, and this time it won't last for just over a month. Nobody I know has ever enjoyed the experience. I will try my best to get the schedule which I think will inflict the least possible amount of pain.

Then there's Tax, which I would have already finished, if last year, they gave priority to "on-curriculum" students and did not give priority to graduating students, and which I would have gotten first dibs this year, if they did not change the rules, did not give priority to "on-curriculum" students and gave priority to graduating students. Trust the best minds in the country to screw the simplest things up.

I also need one more elective, and after being able to get all the best electives offered by the college all these years, this time, I couldn't care less which three-unit elective they give me. In Red's language, I am almost done crawling to freedom through five hundred yards of shit smelling foulness you can't even imagine. I am almost rehabilitated and almost ready to rejoin society.

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* Subtitle of Stephen King's novella Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption, originally published in Different Seasons.

Bagong Salot ng Bayan

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Galing sa TNL ang mga larawan.

Wishlist

1. Noynoy Aquino and Mikey Arroyo slug it out for the presidency in 2010.

Iyon lang po, Lord.

Conspiracy Theory No. 1

According to Inquirer.net, "former president Joseph Estrada said on Tuesday he was '99.9 percent' sure of running for president in the 2010 elections."

Notwithstanding the "minor" detail in Sec. 4, Art. VII of the 1987 Constitution, which says that "[t]he President shall not be eligible for any re-election," which puts into question Erap's qualification to run, and the interpretation of which will certainly be asked from the Supreme Court the moment Erap files his Certificate of Candidacy, I am more disturbed by the possibilty that these developments are actually calculated moves on the part of the Estrada family.

According to the Omnibus Election Code:

Sec. 77. Candidates in case of death, disqualification or withdrawal of another. - If after the last day for the filing of certificates of candidacy, an official candidate of a registered or accredited political party dies, withdraws or is disqualified for any cause, only a person belonging to, and certified by, the same political party may file a certificate of candidacy to replace the candidate who died, withdrew or was disqualified. The substitute candidate nominated by the political party concerned may file his certificate of candidacy for the office affected in accordance with the preceding sections not later than mid-day of the day of the election. If the death, withdrawal or disqualification should occur between the day before the election and mid-day of election day, said certificate may be filed with any board of election inspectors in the political subdivision where he is a candidate, or, in the case of candidates to be voted for by the entire electorate of the country, with the Commission. (emphases mine)

If Erap is disqualified anytime before election day, and Jinggoy Estrada files a certificate of candidacy to replace his father "not later than mid-day of the day of the election," then all "Estrada" votes will not be stray votes, but instead will be counted in favor of Jinggoy.

O ha.

Haiku

Toilet Haiku #1:

Oh my toilet duck!
You color the water blue.
Add my weewee: Green.

- Gabe Mercado

My Kind of Game

Kirk Long made a jumper to make it 2-0, and the rout was on.

This time, we did not need to come back from a late deficit after trailing all game long. There was absolutely no threat from a possible buzzer-beating trey (or two of them) to send the game to overtime (yesterday, they needed to sink seven treys in the last two minutes to win; of course, that is assuming that Ateneo scores nothing during that span). The thrill was practically gone after Ateneo led 8-0 and never looked back.

DLRT could come no more closer than five points after that, while Ateneo's lead ballooned to as many as 21 points. The final margin was 16 points, no thanks to two straight gimme baskets in the last minute of the game that was over not too long after tipoff.

While no criminal acts were committed by players exempt from criminal liability (see the Revised Penal Code) this time, the game was not without its interesting moments. There was Joshua Webb, who saluted the Ateneo crowd after making a layup in traffic. Of course, they were already trailing by double digits then. There was also Arvie Bringas trash-talking Rabeh Al-Hussaini, after making his first and only basket (a three-pointer) of the game. Rabeh already had 22 points at that time and his team was very comfortably ahead. So, either I am at a loss as to what these idiots could possibly yak about during a game where their collective ass was being whipped, or they are really confused about when to talk trash.

But, the best moment for me was when Ryan Buenafe was called to the bench one last time, and there he was, smiling at Joshua Webb, pointing at the scoreboard with utter glee.

2 > 0. The math is correct. The world is aright once more.

Wish Ko Lang

In related news, the Papaya Indian Restaurant based in London, received an order from the Bangladeshi cricket team for a takeaway to be flown out 3,400 miles away to Dubai. The whole order, including travel, cost over £4,200 (or PhP333,400.00).

Which is still roughly US$13,077.00 (or PhP629,679.39) less than what the douchebag PGMA and her party spent on a "simple dinner" in Manhattan.

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1 US Dollar = 48.15167 Philippine Peso
1 British Pound = 1.64856 US Dollar

Dumbass

I have never been a fan of Willie Revillame, but this latest fuck up has got to take the freaking cake.

Huwag kang mag-alala Papi. Pag ikaw ang namatay, tatawa kami.

That Old Cory Magic

A law professor once looked at my class and remarked, that for most of us, him retelling the story of EDSA was like his parents retelling the story of the war ("panahon ng hapon"). Most of my classmates were born post-EDSA, and they learned about what happened on those fateful February days - not to mention the events from 1983 that led to People Power - pretty much the same way how my professor (and I, for that matter) learned about the war - through textbooks.

When Cory's children announced early last year, that their mother had cancer of the colon, I told my wife that when the time comes, I will be paying my last respects to the woman who spent the best years of her life in the service of her country. Last Saturday after the game at Cubao, Weng and I passed through Ortigas Ave on the way home to Makati to survey the situation. The rain was pouring really hard, cars can be seen parking along both sides of Ortigas (I think it was the first time I saw people crossing Ortigas), and people are still coming in droves. The line stretched all the way outside the LSGH campus. Weng reminded me that a mass was being held, and that the public viewing will probably not start again until after an hour or so. We decided to go home and just come back later.

At 2 o'clock in the morning, a good number of private vehicles were still parked along both sides of Ortigas. This time, we did not bother to find out if it extended all the way to Wilson, and just asked the policeman on duty if we could park beside a vehicle which appeared to be from Channel 5. I presumed that they wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon. I never thanked a cop so profusely in my life before that time.

We got inside the campus rather easily, and the lines started in the corridor leading to the gym. There were two lines and they were letting people in by batches. We went up a ramp and into the gym and after less than an hour since we fell in line, we saw the flag-draped casket below an image of the crucified Christ.

As the line went around the gym, you cannot help but notice the flowers around it (there was, in fact, no more space for the flowers inside the gym, that some of them were already placed at the corridor leading to the gym; some were moved to the EDSA Shrine across EDSA). Aside from the huge ones from politicians and government agencies, you cannot possibly miss one simple basket of flowers which was brought by a policeman from Parañaque. The line was moving rather quickly, probably in consideration of all the people still in line, and when we saw the remains of the former president, we could only make the sign of the cross and make a very short prayer. But, I think that it was enough.

The next day, we found out that the line already stretched all the way to EDSA and back to Ortigas. The networks were reporting that it takes around two hours to get inside the campus and another hour or so to get inside the gym. They also announced that Wednesday, the day of Cory's interment, was declared a special non-working holiday. I texted my teammates of the development, and one of them replied:

"Anong okasyon?"

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Image courtesy of Inquirer.net.

Nirvana

Only if life at Malcolm has been anything like this for the past four years and change, I wouldn't have suffered all that needless stress. I really think that for some sick reason, all these years, I have been blessed enough to get all the elective subjects I wanted to get - and I really mean all. I probably wouldn't be able to use half of it (just like Calculus), but I will always take useless and easy over useless and fucking difficult any day.

I have been reading all the PIL assignments, which are really reasonable considering what he-who-must-not-be-named assigned to us before, and that they come with specific instructions to read only the relevant parts. You can actually read them anytime before class. In fact, I have been reading them at work before going to Diliman at noon. Sometimes, I read them during Rem class, where you have a good four hours to finish the readings. So far, there has been no pressure at all, because all our magnificent classmates are always prepared to volunteer (Hooray for them!).

As for Rem, all the cases are assigned a priori. Which is exactly how the professor wants it. Since the start of classes, I have read a grand total of four - read them - four cases. Of course, this does not include all the ICJ cases that I have been reading during this period to prepare for the next day's class. Will I regret it someday? I don't know. But I promise to do things differently when we get to Crim Pro and Spec Pro. Those will be somewhat new for me. But I think I can relax again when we get to Evidence.

I also have two other electives with, by my humble standards, very good professors. I have not been called in either class yet, but I can say with a straight face that I have been able to participate in the discussions in one of them. In the other class, let us just say that there are not too many discussions there. However, I can say with reasonable certainty that I will be called to recite in that class someday, and I can intelligently guess, that I will be the 44th person to be called. Call it a hunch.

So Far, So Good

Initial returns show that the chances of this semester, ending up as the best semester ever, is not unlikely.

A Few Good Men

After turning over all my crappy cases to the next sorry intern last week, I only need to appear in one more preliminary conference before the MTC in Marikina this week, and summer would officially, mercifully, be done. Next week, I can go back to more mundane, and less stressful, things like cases and recits.

Admittedly, it could have been a lot worse. A blockmate was a wrong word away from being cited for contempt. Another almost became the godmother of her client's child, and almost shelled out money for the christening. The worst that happened to me was paying for a client's photocopying expenses. Everybody should be so lucky. Anyway, I am just happy that nobody got hanged because of me.

Next week, we'll be seeing our old friend PIL, and meeting new acquaintances like SLR, banking, comm'l arb and even not-so-new rem law review. We enlisted in PIL only a week or so after learning about the result of our efforts in PrIL - which would make all of us, either courageous or dumb. All these, after the college implemented a new enlistment system, in a manner that is contrary to every software engineering principle I know.

What a way to start the year. I can't wait to get this over with. Let's get it on.

A Can of Whoop Ass

I thought that a football match broke out of the Pacquiao-Hatton laugher yesterday. But, only for less than two rounds. I guess they all know when to shut up.

By the way, maybe it is a good thing to send Nanay Dionesia to Vegas everytime the Pacman has a fight. I don't know, but it seems to me that she can get less airtime only if she's abroad. And even that is too much.

You know the ads got inside your head when you're still trying to shake the image of a woman fixing a leaking roof off it, a day after. Well, it's either that or Giselle Sanchez and her husband, and tongkat ali. Take your pick.
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image courtesy of Inquirer.net.

Law of the Land

"There is a country where women freely go out unescorted and, like the beautiful roses in their public gardens, they always receive the protection of all. That country is Switzerland."

- People v. Jaurigue, 76 Phil. 174

I thought I have seen it all when, in addition to Jaurigue, quoted above, the justices of our Supreme Court introduced the concepts of "bombardment of the drawbridge," "shelling of the castle of orgasmic potency," and "strafing of the citadel of passion" to our jurisprudence. Now, the Court of Appeals have enriched our laws further with its recent ruling on the Subic Rape Case. To wit:

“When a woman is drunk, she can hardly rise, much more stand up and dance, or she would just drop. This is a common experience among Filipino girls.”

I do not know the last time the good lady justices went out to have a good time, but I think it is rather safe to assume that not one of them has ever been to Embassy, or to any college party, recently, where they would have seen enough drunk women - yes, drunk Filipino girls - who can not only rise and stand up, but actually dance a lot better than when they were sober. When was the last time you ladies went out anyway? 1945?

“Resistance by words of mouth [sic] does not suffice to establish that she indeed did not give her consent to the sexual intercourse.”

I guess this means that when a woman wants to say "No," it is not enough that she screams "No, I definitely do NOT want to have sex with you!" She also has to put it in writing, or maybe she has to express it in sign language, or perhaps via Morse Code. So, what would suffice? The problem is that the decision does not say what else a woman is supposed to do in order to deny her consent to sexual intercourse. If it is to be in writing, it also does not say whether or not it has to be in a public instrument. (Hello, I am being raped, can you notarize my statement of resistance to this unlawful aggression?)

Quote of the Day

"So this is what a courtroom looks like."

- Kaffee, A Few Good Men

Scarlett was Never This Hot in the 80s

Yo Joe!

Seven

Being the practicing Catholic that I am, I was able to make my very first visita iglesia last week. I knew you are supposed to go visit churches (you don't even have to know rudimentary Spanish to figure that out), but I wouldn't even have known its basis or history had it not been for a mini-debate at work about how many churches one is supposed to visit. Other than that, and that you are supposed to pray, I pretty much have no more idea on what else you are supposed to do.

I mapped out the churches in my head, and figured out how we can get from one point to another. Weng took care of the liturgy. I guess you can say that she is my saving grace. We were able to complete the whole thing in about two hours without leaving Makati.

We started at St. Andrew's in Bel-Air, where we usually go every Sunday, then we went to Sts. Peter and Paul along Burgos. Mass was being held by the time we got there, and the place was already packed.

From Poblacion, we went to Guadalupe. I was surprised to find that the Guadalupe Church (Nuestra Señora de Gracia Church) is so small when you're inside it. It is a beautiful church, and it still is a favorite for weddings and baptisms. Guadalupe and Sts. Peter and Paul are supposed to be two of the earliest churches established in the country. I suggest that you go there from JP Rizal, instead of from EDSA. Let's just say that you will feel safer, coming from JP Rizal.

From Guadalupe, we went to Santuario de San Antonio in Forbes Park. The driving distance between the two churches is nothing compared to the evident disparity between their respective communities and parishioners.

We then proceeded to Greenbelt, and that was the first time I ever saw Makati CBD at its most empty and boring. The only people in the area are the ones going to the church. We next went to Don Bosco, and lastly to the Shrine of the Sacred Heart in San Antonio. The short trip from Pasay Road to Dao was marked only by the heavy traffic along Kamagong. It became evident once we reached Dao that everybody was going to the same place.

I Know Evidence

. . . and I am NOT taking the goddam course again!

I rock.

MJ, HOF'er

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MJ's old college team, North Carolina, won its 5th NCAA title earlier today against Magic's alma mater Michigan State.

Magic-Bird, 30 Years Later

Greetings to All Alsallites!

It's your day, today!

/dev/null

I just realized that it is rather difficult to think of anything to write, the day after you tried, and failed, to recall and write down fifteen different conflict rules. Verbatim.

The Final Set Outtakes

The last time I saw a clueless entertainer get booed off his ass was when Carlos Agassi tried to rap during halftime of an Ateneo-La Salle game. So, I was not really surprised when a good number of the over 100,000 people at the MOA concert grounds let MTV VJs have it. Moreso after Anne Curtis confessed to being excited to hear "Tindahan ni Aling Nene." WTF.

Posers come in all shapes and sizes. Tim Yap, the self-proclaimed eventologist, exposed himself as a total poser when Ely Buendia put him on the spot at the end of the show and he promptly showed everybody that he has absolutely no idea how to sing Toyang correctly.

In One Sky So High

Come and take a sip from the cup as the drink makes you think
Don't blink cuz you'll be taken out by the pen and ink
Superproxy, why don't you just talk to me
My rhyme be stickin to ya head like epoxy
The Mouth'll be blabbin, never be backstabbin
Hangin w/the E-heads and I'm just plain havin
FUN, no time for gats and guns,
I use my m.i.c. like a gun I get the job done
I play video games all day
Zipadee-dooda Zipadee-day Hiphop Hooray!
Menage one, Menage Trois, Menage Three
If songs were pets then I'd have a menagerie
Chimney-chimney Humpty Dumpty
Grab on the m.i.c. start gettin funky
Funky with the flavor that you savor, imitator
I'm the flavor of the hour other MC's I devour
I'll be with Raymund, Buddy, Marcus, and Ely
I'm on their case just like Petrocelli
Ultraelectromagnetic Hiphop and ya don't
Stop and ya don't quit WORD-UP!
Lap it up like a pussy sippin on milk
Rock hard to my style that's smooth as silk
Superproxy why don't ya just talk to me....tooot...static

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+ RIP FrancisM

Ministerial Duty

“The President just exercised her authority, and for that matter, you might call it ministerial authority, to grant executive clemency. So I don’t think there’s anything else to explain.”

- legal genius Eduardo Ermita, Executive Secretary, Banana Republic

I guess this means that convicts who comply with "the criteria" can now file petitions for mandamus to compel the President to grant them executive clemency. What a nublet.

Amnesia

Last night, I listened to, most probably, the most sensible statement Kris Aquino has ever made in her life. I don't really pay attention to what she is saying most of the time, but given the significance of the events that transpired yesterday, I thought the country needed to hear from Kris - the daughter - what most of us wanted to say.


"Pinatay nila si Ninoy Aquino."

Heroes Super Bowl Ad

23 Years Ago

Say you want a revolution
We better get on right away
Well you get on your feet
And out on the street

- John Lennon, Power to the People

Sloth

But taken from me was this drowsiness
Suddenly by a people, that behind
Our backs already had come round to us.

And as, of old, Ismenus and Asopus
Beside them saw at night the rush and throng,
If but the Thebans were in need of Bacchus,

So they along that circle curve their step,
From what I saw of those approaching us,
Who by good-will and righteous love are ridden.

Full soon they were upon us, because running
Moved onward all that mighty multitude,
And two in the advance cried out, lamenting,

"Mary in haste unto the mountain ran,
And Caesar, that he might subdue Ilerda,
Thrust at Marseilles, and then ran into Spain."

- Dante, Purgatorio, Canto XVIII

Last Saturday, after the last "t" was crossed and the last "i" was dotted (oh, that is so overused), after the last presumption of good faith was written down, I submitted my blue book and immediately stopped thinking about the Rules of Court. (Can you believe it?) In my own worst-case scenario, it won't be until June when I have to reread them all over again. I went home, picked Weng up, had Korean food at Rockwell, and watched the best film that I have ever seen in years. (I suggest that you all go watch Gran Torino. Now.)

(The new blue book is very much thicker than the old one. I have no idea why they had to do that, since for four years and for more than 30 courses, my answers have managed to exceed the number of pages of the old blue book only once. ONCE. In that one time, I wrote on a grand total of two pages of the second blue book. By the way, did I mention that we only write on one side of the blue book?)

The school holiday today couldn't have been more perfectly timed. After that already very delayed exam last Saturday, I had absolutely no intention of reading anything involving a petitioner anytime soon. So, I watched the Jazz beat the Hornets yesterday morning and played Madden 09 all afternoon. Last night, I watched Warrick Brown get shot and Jack Bauer get arrested. All guilt-free. Having no more Nego for all remaining Tuesdays of the semester doesn't hurt either. Of course, I am totally sticking my head in the sand, and disregarding that big stack of paper on the floor for Wednesday and Thursday. If you're familiar with SC rates and you're good at math, that stack of paper is worth about Php300 from Blessings Copy Center. Come on, go figure.

I brought with me a couple of those cases to work today, but I have already realized that I was just kidding myself when I picked them up from the floor this morning. Maybe Juris and Prudence would have better luck tonight.

One Love

Any Given Sunday

When I left the land of the free and the home of the brave, I told my family and friends that I'd miss football and driving on the interstate the most. I was right on both counts. After growing up in a country where basketball is practically a religion, and after being a fan of Michael Jordan and the Bulls long before I lived anywhere near I-90, you would wonder why I ended up watching more Bears games than Bulls games live.

Of course, it was difficult (to say the least) to get Bulls tickets in 1998 - the last year of the great Bulls run, but then again, it was fairly easy to score a pair after that. While the Tim Floyd era was mostly forgettable, the Bears, during that time, didn't exactly manage to conjure Super Bowl images in your head.

I usually drove from the NW suburb where I lived to the loop and parked near the Metra station, where every game day buses are available to take people to Soldier Field. Now, watching a Bears game at Soldier Field is something that you can experience in not too many places on Earth. The NFL's regular season is played from September to December. Soldier Field is an open air stadium. Sitting on Lake Michigan. When the wind blows in from the lake, on any given December Sunday, in the Windy City, you can bet your freezing ass you will feel it.

The last time I watched the Super Bowl live (on TV, I am not that blessed) was in 2000. I was in the Twin Cities with friends from Chicago, ready to drive back home after helping one of our friends move. That night, we watched Kurt Warner lead the St. Louis Rams over the Tennessee Titans. I don't remember the score anymore, but I remember the Rams winning it after a Titan fell short of the endzone in the dying seconds of the game. Before that season, Kurt Warner, who led this season's NFC champions to the Super Bowl, played in NFL Europe, and Arena Football. Before that, he was stocking shelves at Hy-Vee.

So, last Monday, I watched the Super Bowl live on TV for the first time in 9 long years. While in the previous years, I had to be satisfied with replays on primetime, after following the game during the day on ESPN.com, I decided to take a leave from work that day and watch football instead. I figured that that would be a lot easier to do than getting a car (much less driving in anything resembling an interstate in this country). One out of two ain't that bad at all.

Fanboys

牛

Ox ba tayo d'yan?

From the "Things That Make You Go Hmm" Department

"To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history."

- Barack Obama, President, United States

"First of all, our President is ahead of Obama and probably, I would think that if there's anything to be learned, it should be President Obama learning from President Arroyo."

- Eduardo Ermita, Executive Secretary, Banana Republic

Pop Machine

Ten Years Ago

On January 13, 1999 (CST), Michael Jordan's retirement news conference was broadcast to the world. On that day, the game's greatest player announced he was done (until 2001).

I still remember having lunch with friends, on that cold Chicago day 10 years ago, in a pub along State St. (I probably had fish and chips), and we were wondering what the man standing outside the window next to us was looking at. (We later figured out that the pub had its speakers outside on, and he was watching the press conference as well.)

It Never Ends

Yes. The Reunion Concert DVD will be released soon.

Yes. There will be a "Final Set."

Ligaya.

Happy Christmas

I met a man in Nigeria years ago,
an Ibo,
who said he had three hundred relatives
he knew by name.
His wife had just had a baby.
They were going to take it
on foot
to be welcomed and marveled at
by as many of those relatives
as they could find,
even though
there was a war going on.
Wouldn’t you love to have been
such a famous baby?
I wish I could wave a magic wand
this Christmas,
and give every desperately lonesome
and hungry and lost American
man, woman, or child
the love and comfort and support
of an extended family.
Just two people and a babe in the manger,
given a heartless Government,
is no survival scheme.

- Kurt Vonnegut, 2004

Customer Service

Me: May reservation ba kayo?
Genius on the phone (GOTP): Papunta ho saan?
Me: Sa Olongapo.
GOTP: Wala ho.
Me: Sa Zambales?
GOTP: Wala din ho.
Me: Maski yung last trip? Yung 11 ng gabi?
GOTP: Meron po.

(Trips to Zambales, just in case you don't have a Philippine road map on hand, go through Olongapo.)

Cooling-Off

I have absolutely nothing to do tonight.

Or, tomorrow night and every single night for the next two weeks, for that matter. There is absolutely nothing that I have to photocopy, highlight, read and/or, God forbid, memorize. There will be no opportunities for other people to inflict moral damages upon my person, and aside from lining up behind total morons in the ATM, there will be no opportunity for me to wish harm to befall, presumably, a fellow human being.

This is probably how drug-induced altered states of consciousness feel like. I know this will not last, but at least, I will be celebrating the holidays on a high - drug-induced or otherwise.

Rehab

"There's not a day goes by I don't feel regret. Not because I'm in here, or because you think I should. I look back on the way I was then: a young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I want to talk to him. I want to try and talk some sense to him, tell him the way things are. But I can't. That kid's long gone and this old man is all that's left. I got to live with that. Rehabilitated? It's just a bullshit word. So you go on and stamp your form, sonny, and stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don't give a shit."

- Red, The Shawshank Redemption

More Deep Thoughts

I finally qualified for a Nike Park VIP card. Yay.

* * *

I can't wait for my authentic Ryan Buenafe Ateneo jersey. Hopefully, I'd get my hands on it before Christmas.

* * *

Jover had me hooked on fantasy basketball. As of this writing, my team is tied for 6th in a fifteen-team league.

* * *

I took the long route home last Tuesday: I walked from the office to the train station at Ayala, took the train all the way to North Ave. (after missing 2 text messages, 3 calls and 1 crazy woman pounding the train before the train left Cubao), crossed over to the other side of the platform, took the train back to Guadalupe, and after futilely waiting for an FX ride, took a cab home.

Home, which ordinarily, is 1 jeepney and 1 tricycle ride away from the office.

* * *

For a game show host, Richard Gomez makes a very good pervert. I don't know, is it just me, or does he really just naturally appear as if he's molesting every female contestant on the show?

* * *

Speaking of TV shows, Zita was voted off the island and she's mad. Note to Zita: it's a game. Anyone can be voted off. When the Good Lord said "Blessed are the poor," He doesn't mean that the poor are entitled to win every single TV game show on the planet. But, I know you'll get over it. Hopefully, soon.

#34

Dave Matthews Band plays #34, at the Hollywood Bowl, October 2, 2007.

Sour Grapes

"The best-laid plans of mice and men / Go oft awry"

- Robert Burns, To A Mouse, on Turning Her Up in Her Nest, With The Plough

Apparently, the CRS is to the College of Law, as speed limits and pants are to Homer Simpson: a suggestion.

Here is what I propose: the college should just do away with the CRS and simply hand out pre-filled Form 5s to students, who can then proceed either to Palma Hall or to the OUR and pay the assessed fees immediately. It will not only save everybody the time and effort needed to craft a class schedule, pre-enlist, fill out a Form 5 which, at the end of the day, are all pointless anyway; it will also save much-needed bandwidth because people no longer need to access CRS. This would also do away with validation, checking and assessment. Imagine how easy registration would be.

They can leave the electives to the students. They just need to make sure that electives with the right number of units, which are not in conflict with any of the predetermined courses (and sections), are actually available for the student to take.

Just a thought.

Cow Dung

Reliving the Moments

"When the kids had killed the man I had to break up the band."

- David Bowie, Ziggy Stardust

My wishlist for my first office Kris Kringle contained a solitary item: the Eraserheads' Cutterpillow album (I think I just dated myself). I was fresh off college, it was my first job and I was so cheap (some will say that I still am) that I was willing to wait until a few weeks before Christmas before finally getting my hands on my own copy of the album. That album, incidentally, went platinum the day after they launched it at the UP Sunken Garden.

A few years and a few more albums later (including one - Natin99 - which was brought to the US by a friend when I was there, signed by the members of the band), I now get to enjoy more luxuries in life, like not waiting until Christmas to get the Heads' latest - and most probably, really, last - album. The Reunion Concert is their first live album, containing all 15 songs performed by the band last August 30, before Ely's heart went into "overdrive." The best part about the album, of course, is that I am actually in it (yes, along with 30,000 other people counting down, and chanting "group hug").

I was planning to go to Music One before going to work earlier today, but let's just say that I got lucky. The press release said that the album was going to be released on November 3 - today. That is why I was pleasantly surprised to find Odyssey selling the album as early as last Saturday. The saleslady told me, matter-of-factly, that they were releasing it early ahead of everybody else. I don't know if that's alright, but, who am I to complain? I spent the entire weekend reliving the best concert I have been to in recent years. It never gets old.

Best Movie Lines Ever

Jeff Portnoy: Hey, Alpa, if you come over here and untie me, I will literally suck your dick, right now.

Alpa Chino: Man, what did I tell you? I love tha pussy!

Jeff Portnoy: I'll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, work the pipes, and swallow the gravy.

- Tropic Thunder

Bliss

"Enjoy what's left of your semestral break."

Including today, we have 11 days of reprieve before we all go back to Shawshank. I have already started reading Playing for Pizza last night - a book which I bought way back in June, in premature anticipation of this break. Later, Weng and I will try to catch Tropic Thunder at Glorietta (Power Plant and GB3 are now showing High School Musical 3 - no, I will not pay any money only to see that). It's been a quite a while since we've been inside a movie house - I think the last movie we saw was The Clone Wars.

(I also hoped to be more productive at work for the next two weeks. I think you have a pretty good idea on how that is going so far. Harhar.)

I also need to get a copy of SI's NBA Preview Issue, which should be out in Manila next week. Which means that I have to finish registration early in the morning sometime next week so that I can immediately visit the friendly neighborhood Bufini store. Speaking of registration, here's hoping that the people who actually run the college stop scrutinizing peoples' Form 5s too much, get the fuck out of the way, and just let people determine and drive their own fates. Really, I am confused as to why the fuck they even care.

Nego is coming up, and so is PrIL (which, incidentally rhymes with "kill"). We're also getting Admin and Tax 2, and if the gods smile down upon us, IPL without any conflicts in schedule, whatsoever. If things go as smoothly as we hope, there should be a better than even chance that we can watch more movies in the coming months.

Song of the Moment

Hinihingal ka lang
May oras pang natitira
Kahit parang ang layo pa
Habol

Kung harangan ka man
Sumalakay man mga bantay
Lahat kami Maghihintay
Habol, habol!

Refrain:
Dehado kung dehado
Para sa'n pang mga galos mo
Kung titiklop ka lang
Titiklop ka lang
Matalo kung matalo
Huwag ka sanang magkakamaling
Sumuko na lang
Woah

Maagawan ka man
Lalung huwag kang papipiga
Kumpiyansa lang bawat bangga
Woah

Kumaripas ka na
Humanda ka na sa paglipad
Pakpak nati'y ilalantad
Woah

Repeat Refrain

Chorus:
Ang puso
Iaalay
Sa laban
Kapalit ay tagumpay

Ang puso
Iaalay
Sa laban
Kapalit ay tagumpay

Repeat Refrain

Ang puso
Ialay
Sa laban
Kapalit ay tagumpay

Chorus:
Ang puso
Iaalay
Sa laban, sa laban, sa laban, sa laban mo

Intrumental

Coda:
Ang puso
Iaalay
Sa laban
Kapalit ay tagumpay
(Repeat thrice)

- Puso, Sponge Cola

One To Go

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

-Reinhold Niebuhr

We are finally done with Medjur, Puboff, Evidence and Locgov. Of course, when I say "done," I mean we have done everything on our part that is humanly possible (including taking leaves without pay from work, for instance) if only never to see the same faces (or the same cases) ever again. (Not to mention, that we also want to get out of Shawshank on time.)

Medjur is really done - "as sure as night follows day." There is no chance in hell anyone would flunk that course. Puboff and Locgov, assuming that the final grades will be computed in the manner the professors said they would last June, should be mathematically impossible to flunk given the previous numbers. (But, of course, stranger things have happened.) That leaves Evidence, which answers to the exam questions I still could not figure out, even after the exam (which was also the case last sem with Civpro, so please God, I am not exactly praying for a miracle, I just want the same results).

And then, there's Tax. I got myself a 119-page reviewer from some law school along Mendiola which I will use in trying to prepare for it. (In comparison, their reviewer for Evidence had 57 pages, Puboff and Locgov both less than 10, and yet all these subjects are worth 3 units. Go figure.) As was the case in the six previous semesters, it is most difficult to get yourself to prepare for the last exam. At this point, people are really drooling in anticipation of the semestral break. You truly, honestly just want to get it over and done with. (Note to friends: it is a good idea to take the Civpro or Evidence finals last - you want to take the other exams with hope still in your hearts.)

Wish us luck.

So Close

So, after watching My Cousin Vinny just before the Great Ateneo Bonfire, cutting LocGov and missing Toyapi's spoken word performance, staying awake through Tax, watching two of the most depressing, suicide-inducing films I have ever seen in my life - one after the other, and surviving GR in Puboff, there is but one class left, and I somehow cannot get my lazy ass to prepare for it.

How "Sweep" It Is

I'm back.

The win last Thursday was the sweetest win against DLRT that I have ever seen live, and I am saying this not only because it was the first and only Ateneo championship that I have been blessed enough to see with my own eyes. That win made it a clean season sweep for the Eagles - regular season and the finals. That, boys and girls, should effectively expunge all that shit about "2>3." Not only is "4>0" better, it is also mathematically correct. Leave it to the PEPsters to screw not only everything we learned about spelling, but arithmetic, as well. That win marked the first time, either team won four times against the other. It won for the Eagles its fourth UAAP seniors basketball title, the third at the expense of - you guessed it - DLRT. When it matters? It couldn't matter more than in the UAAP finals, you dorks, where we have already beaten your sorry asses three out of four times (four out of six, if you include the NC years). Now, I can forget all the bad things that happened during the 2006 season and get rid of those Jojo Duncil nightmares for good.

The Game 2 win was made doubly sweeter by the fact that I did not have to look for a TV set to get updates on Game 3 last Sunday, which incidentally, was the day my sister finally got married. I don't think she would have forgiven me if I started cheering lustily during the offertory.

With the season over, I can now get back to less serious stuff - like Evidence and Tax. And, of course, there's work. I still have to pay the bills.

But, before all that, I have to go to the bonfire tonight.

I am Nonoy

So, who's your daddy, now?

---
Photo courtesy of Aaron Vicencio.

Manna from Heaven

Class

Ignominy

Yesterday's game is a testament to why I prefer boring blowouts over heart-stopping, gut-wrenching ordeals. They make for enjoying, relaxing afternoons with your friends. No suspense. No surprises. The better team should win, and win easy. After watching two hard-fought games against UE during the elimination rounds, with the second going into overtime, and only after Chris Tiu and Ryan Buenafe made four consecutive triples, we were expecting another close game. Afterwards, nobody was complaining that we were all wrong.

The game started shortly after DLRT won by five points against FEU. Their crowd was understandably, well, happy. They were, in fact, so happy that they started chanting "Go UE!" even before the red-clad people in the audience could find seats. Some of them, probably hoping for, if not expecting, an upset, stayed to enjoy the second game. I am not so sure if they enjoyed what they saw as much as we did.

How bad was the game for UE? At one point early in the fourth quarter, Ateneo has already scored twice as many points as UE did. They were able to whittle it down to a more "respectable" 20-point margin after the final buzzer by scoring 22 points in the garbage time that is the fourth quarter. UE team captain Marcy Arellano, playing what turned out to be his last game in the UAAP, scored a grand total of 0 points, going 0-6 from the field (including one horrible airball) and 0-2 from the line. The Ateneo crowd started celebrating as early as the third quarter, when chants of "We want La Salle!" wafted through the coliseum. After the Eagles came back from an early 11-5 hole to erect what turned out to be an insurmountable 17-11 lead at the end of the first, little did we know that the Warriors have already given us their best shot. While UE couldn't buy an easy basket from anywhere, Jai Rayes was making jumper after jumper, and Eric Salamat was making ridiculously difficult shots off the break. In the end, only a handful of UE supporters remained to sing their Alma Mater hymn with their players. One would be hard-pressed not to feel bad for the UE players, after seeing their crowd disappear long before the final buzzer, who look so alone after yet another playoff disaster.

The Eagles are in the finals for the 7th time since joining the UAAP in 1978. They have won the title three times, twice against its old, hated foe. Everything thus far has been to true to form. The two best teams during the season will face-off for the basketball title, and an entire year's worth of bragging rights. Two more games. One big fight.

Go Ateneo.


---
Photo courtesy of PizzaGuy.

Blueberries and Cream

"Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?"

- Homer Simpson

Yet Another "13-1" Game

Only this time*, after the final buzzer, we were the ones with 13 wins.

I did not expect to be at the game last Saturday, since getting tickets proved to be much more difficult than getting a pair for the Eraserheads reunion concert. But, it pays to have friends who regularly watch all the games. I got a call three hours before the game, a few minutes before Tax class, that one Upper B ticket was available. I arrived at the venue with the Eagles leading the Pepsters 16-6. Ateneo never trailed.


Go Ateneo!

---
* In 2002, DLRT had a 13-0 record going into its last elimination round game against Ateneo. Suffice it to say that there was no sweep that season.

Photo courtesy of the Ateneo Sports Shooters.

Rock the Night Nostalgic

"we prepared 3 sets. the first was just a warm up. the remaining two was going to be the fun part."

- Raymund Marasigan

Through 15 songs, which every single person in the venue apparently knew by heart, Ely, Marcus, Buddy and Raymund - collectively known as the Eraserheads - drove more than 20,000 people into fits of delirious excitement and nostalgia last Saturday at the Fort in Taguig. For the first time since the greatest Filipino band ever broke up because of "height differences," amid chants of "group hug" from the all-too-happy crowd, the Eraserheads - all four of them - are back together and performing once again - even if only for one night.

The anti-climactic ending notwithstanding, I believe everybody, with cellphone or camera on hand, who sang, and danced, and swayed with almost everybody else, had the greatest time ("Alapaap" alone, as far as I'm concerned, already covered the ticket price). There were no front acts and no segues, it was one song after another, and you want to keep on asking for more. If anything, the people at the venue can now only wonder what the second set would have been like, after experiencing the first.

Or, we can all look forward to the second reunion, instead.

The set list:

I

Alapaap
Ligaya
Sembreak
Hey Jay
Harana
Fruitcake
Toyang
Kamasupra
Kailan
Huwag Kang Matakot
Kaliwete
With a Smile
Shake Yer Head
Huwag Mo Nang Itanong
Lightyears

II*

Maskara
Poorman’s Grave
Torpedo
Trip to Jerusalem
Back2me
Maselang Bahaghari
Maling Akala
Tikman
Spolarium
Magasin
Para sa Masa
Overdrive
Pare Ko
Minsan
Huling El Bimbo

---
* After the word went out the Ely Buendia was okay and in stable condition after playing a whole set during the Reunion Concert last [Saturday], the three Eraserheads, musicians in the audience, and music scenesters alike converged at Saguijo in Makati for an impromptu jam containing the songs of the aborted second set. - Philmusic.com

Ang Muling El Bimbo

Ligaya

Eagles Win

. . .

tiu suffering from cramps 1:33
salamat for tiumarcy wins the tip
marcy missd fb
espiritu putback and fould by rabeh
54-57 ue
espiritu 0-1 ft
salamat rb 1:21
buenafe fould on drive 1:11
buenafe 1-2 ft
55-57 ue
baclao bounces ball off ue player 1:07
rabeh fould by espiritu 1:01 penalty
rabeh 2-2 ft
57-57 1:01
ue bad pass 35 sec
buenafe drive on triple team
59-57 admu
timeout 21 sec
espiritu missd drive
baclao rb 6 sec
zamar pf on baclao penalty
baclao 2-2 ft
61-57 admu
salamat steal
end of overtime


rabeh 19 pts 11 rebs 1 steal
nonoy 10 pts 13 rebs 3 blocks

---
live updates courtesy of www.bask3tball.com.
photo courtesy of the Ateneo Sports Shooters.

I am Ninoy

I am a hero.
I do what I believe is right.
I do what I believe is good.
I fight for justice.
I fight for freedom.
I am a hero.
In a big way, in a small way.
In my own way.
I am a hero.
I am Ninoy.

---
For more information, visit I AM NINOY.

It's Time To Add Another Stripe*

---

* courtesy of Rick Oliveros

Signs of the Times

On the way from Katipunan to the ULTRA for yesterday's game against the NU Bulldogs, we saw a sign painted on a pedestrian overpass proudly saying:

SIGE, PASIG. SIGE PA.

I am actually ambivalent as to whether this is simply a cheap attempt by the Pasig city government to emphasize its use of the letter "E" in its slogan, or a magnificent marketing ploy to promote its most (in)famous industry (No, it's not retail).

What's next? Here are a few suggestions:

GANYAN, PASIG. GANYAN.

BILISAN MO, PASIG. BILISAN MO PA.

MALAPIT NA, PASIG. MALAPIT NA.

For any more suggestions, please contact Pasig City Hall.

Last Song Syndrome

Di ka na mababasa ng ulan
Di ka na mababasa ng ulan
(Di na, di na, di, di, di)
Mababasa ng ulan
(Di na, di na, di, di, di)
Mababasa ng ulan
(Di na, di na, di, di, di)
Mababasa ng ulan
(Di na, di na, di, di, di, di, di, di)

The lines above came from what is probably the most stupid song I have heard since Mirahel's vomit-inducing attempt at tragicomedy was released sometime ago (it was also PCSO's highly successful attempt to irritate Filipinos to the point of suicide). While Mirahel's music (this is me being generous) was pounded, everyday, on every Filipino who watched TV, I had the misfortune of hearing this one, for the first time, on the way to the office on a cab ride from Diliman. I thought the music was familiar, and before I realized it, I think the driver was lucky that, at that moment, I did not have a gun on my hand.

These days, a cab ride from Diliman to Makati will expose you, not only to the unimpeachable solutions of cab drivers to this country's ills, but sometimes, also to free legal advice from a UP Law professor, and to free medical advice from an old woman sounding really dead-bored while talking to her guest MD that day. If you are really lucky, you will find a amiable cab driver who likes music, and you get to enjoy the music that sells to the Filipino, right now.

Apparently, this shit sells right now. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with people who write these songs, but I thought I had heard the end of it with Sumpa Ko, which is nothing but an uber-literal translation of, you guessed it, All 4 One's I Swear. But of course, life is full of disappointments. Something which unfortunately (this is me being sarcastic) hit Mirahel after their widely-seen PCSO ad, and which hopefully will soon embrace whoever unleashed this horror upon an unsuspecting public. God willing, those sick bastards never will be seen or heard from ever again.

(I feel I have to make a disclaimer right now. The Visayan version of Low that is hitting the airwaves - Butete - is cool. In fact, it is so cool that a friend of mine, an Ateneo College instructor and UP law student - ranked 8th in his class - has committed its lyrics to memory. "Diay kadtu makahilow low low low low low low . . .")

Decapitated Fowls

O CAPTAIN! my Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won;
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

- Walt Whitman, O Captain! My Captain!

Wanted: Tubero

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, was a little hamlet where 16 silly and very unfortunate people lived. The kingdom was ruled by four wicked witches (five, actually, but no one in the hamlet, took the fifth one seriously), any one of which, by comparison, by most people's estimation, will make Dolores Umbridge look like a charming, old lady. This early, their fledgling reign of terror may have already surpassed the magnitude of horror and sheer evil of all those which came before.

The first witch is not new. The silly people from the hamlet has had her as administrator before, and each and every one of them was her biatch at some point. Some were eventually exiled. Some ran away. Most decided that they can probably just humor the bitch and let her be. No one knows to this day whether that worked or not. Those who ran away came back after a few years, after finding out that resistance is, ultimately, futile. Mercifully, the gods decided that the hamlet has had enough suffering from the periods past, and reduced the scope of duties of the first witch, such that the hamlet will not be reminded of Madonna, as often as before.

The second witch was born when all the hate in the world was for the taking, and everyone else but her was perfectly sound asleep. She took all the hate - ALL - that the world can give, and kept it all for herself. A great majority of that hate has settled on her ass. That burden, has disfigured her face forever - cursed never to smile again until the end of time.

The third witch is confused and is confusing. She hates all things with little dongs swaying in the wind. She is most definitely a narcissist, and also appears to be a psychotic sociopath whose episodes can be as confusing as her gender. She tries to make her subjects at ease, that is, until one of her episodes kick in, and tell you matter-of-factly, that she'll have your head chopped off by sundown.

The fourth witch appears to have a life outside the coven. She had a husband and a child long before she became a wicked witch. She looks happy, and at the beginning, may have tried to stoke fear into the hearts of her silly subjects. The people are not yet sure as to whether they will love her or hate her, but they are not (yet) trembling from fear of pain and suffering, upon hearing her footsteps. She appears to be quite a reasonable witch, but the hamlet has been wrong before.

The hamlet, is now wondering, "what the fuck is wrong with the first three witches?" Is it in the water? Is it in the plumbing? Maybe the plumbing no longer works, and water no longer flows through the pipes. Who knows?

Rumor Mongering

The rumors are true.

They are back.

Even if only for one night.


I wish I could go back to those fairy book tales
Forget the real world awhile
And seek the seas of the talking whales
A place of wishing wells and magic spells
Where everything starts out once upon a time
Long, long ago and ends happily ever after

- Wishing Wells

Res Ipsa Loquitur

Lucky Charm

Ateneo won all three games that I watched live from the Big Dome's Upper Box section against La Salle last year. The Eagles also lost both games that I watched from my bed at home. Being the rational man that I am, I have come to the conclusion that I have to watch the game live, if the Blue Eagles would have any shot at winning their games.

That theory was promptly dismissed last night, after Ateneo beat the living organic fertilizer out of DLSU, 79-73 (OK, that was biased), when I was five MRT stations and one jeepney ride away. While the result admittedly deprived me of an irrational basis to blackmail my ticket-toting friends (which never worked anyway - so much for team spirit), I'd always take an Ateneo win against La Salle (or Al Salle as some cheerleaders spell it) any day.

Next up: Adamson, which has not, incidentally, won a UAAP game against Ateneo since the Erap administration.

---

Image courtesy of the Ateneo Sports Shooters.

How Sulpicio Lines Arrived at a Decision to Sue PAGASA

Manny Pacquiao and the Boston Celtics

If you suddenly thought the Pacman can now play center for Team Pilipinas, you might want to check his height again after he steps down from whatever it is he was standing on.

But, who the fuck cares? These are the Boston Celtics, baby. The Boston freaking NBA champions Celtics!

There Really was a Real Power Plant Here Before

It took all of two weeks for me to figure out a routine for all the Saturdays, for the next five months - go home, pick my wife up, and kill time at the Power Plant Mall. Whereas before, when I usually spent the late afternoon and early evening after Malcolm sleeping soundly, only to wake up hours later to watch TV and play NBA Live; so far this semester, we were able to catch two films in the last three weeks (Kung Fu Panda and Incredible Hulk) - that's already two more movies than last semester, when we mostly watched movies at home, courtesy of our enterprising brothers from the South (no, I do not mean Alabang).

I wasn't able to see Get Smart last Saturday, but I was able to ogle see Michelle Madrigal instead. I also saw a Philippine Idol finalist and his Viva Hot Babe girlfriend (who, according to Weng, is expecting), and one of Da King's progeny and her rumored boyfriend - a Senator's son, whose family's propensity to reproduce is quite notorious in these parts. I was not starstruck, mind you - since we started spending most of our free time at the nearest, least-crowded mall near our place, you'd always almost expect to see someone famous (for whatever reason) at the Power Plant. I could make a list here but I won't. But, I have to say that Dolphy is on that list. Come on. You have to acknowledge the man.

But, yeah. Michelle Madrigal was hot that Saturday.

Since Weng didn't want to relax and see a movie, she spent her time over at the mothership - Kamiseta - instead, whose rule of no fitting whenever there is a sale, still does not make any sense to me, up to this very day. I spent time browsing at Fully Booked and Bufini, and came up with a mass-market paperback copy of John Grisham's second football novel (Playing for Pizza will only be the second Grisham book I have ever read, the first being Bleachers), which title, according to amazon.com, will be released on mass-market paperback format on July 22, 2008; and the June 9 and June 16 issues of Sports Illustrated. I know the Celtics already won, but I am a creature of the 80s. Short of bringing back new wave music, I believe I am, at least, entitled to reminisce.

I'm Moving to Japan

Ready on the Right?

Definition

Board and Lodging, n.. see Ransom.

Nothing Left to Lose

Shadow Reads The News Today, Oh Boy

Any NBA fan born before 1980, takes one of two sides: the Lakers or the Celtics. If you were introduced to the NBA before bald heads, tats, and baggy shorts, back when Michael Jordan was just a brash, skinny kid who could really jump, you would think that in this league, only the Los Angeles Lakers and the Boston Celtics matter.

Not without reason. During the 1980s, the Lakers and the Celtics won eight NBA titles between them (Lakers - 80, 82, 85, 87, 88; Celtics - 81, 84, 86). They played for the title three times (84, 85, 87), with the Lakers winning twice. Each team had one of the two best players in the league - LA had Magic, Beantown had Bird. The other players were not too shabby either: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, James Worthy, Robert Parish, Kevin McHale.

Both franchises fell into the pits after both Bird and Magic retired. The Lakers won three more titles with Shaquille O'Neal and Kobe Bryant, but tomorrow will be the first time, in more than 20 years, that these two old rivals will play for the trophy once again. This time it will be the Lakers' Bryant and Pau Gasol going up against the Celtics' Big Three of Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and Ray Allen.

* * *

My Modern History professor (God bless his soul) at the Ateneo was an old American Jesuit. He taught history as if he were simply recalling what he himself witnessed just the day before. History according to Fr. Leonard was like a first-hand account. He was already old at the time, and it wouldn't surprise me if someone told me today that the old man was really there at the Battle of Verdun.

I remembered him last night after I heard the news that Barack Obama has clinched the Democratic Party's nomination for US President. In one of his classes, Fr. Leonard told us how he never imagined that he would still be alive to see the fall of the Berlin Wall and the fall of Communism (specifically, the Soviet Union). Well, I lived to see the day that one of the two predominant political parties in the United States nominated an African-American - "a skinny kid from the south side of Chicago" - for President. Come November, we might also very well live to see the day that an African-American is elected President of the United States.

Quote of the Day

"No disrespect to Kyra Sedgwick, but that damn boy Kobe Bryant is The Closer."

- Analyst Charles Barkley using the name of TNT's popular television drama to describe Bryant's ability to make critical plays

Here We Go Again

July 5 - Araneta Coliseum
2 PM - ADU vs FEU
4 PM - UE vs UST

July 6 - Araneta Coliseum
2 PM - UP vs NU
4 PM - DLSU vs ADMU

July 10 - Ultra
2 PM - NU vs UE
4 PM - ADMU vs ADU

July 12 - Ultra
2 PM - UP vs UST
4 PM - DLSU vs FEU

July 13 - Ultra
2 PM - ADU vs NU
4 PM - UE vs ADMU

July 17 - Ultra
2 PM - FEU vs UP
4 PM - UST vs DLSU

July 19 - Ultra
2 PM - UP vs ADMU
4 PM - DLSU vs NU

July 20 - Ultra
2 PM - ADU vs UE
4 PM - FEU vs UST

July 24 - Ultra
2 PM - DLSU vs ADU
4 PM - UE vs UP

July 26 - Ultra
2 PM - UP vs DLSU
4 PM - UE vs FEU

July 27 - Ultra
2 PM - ADU vs UST
4 PM - ADMU vs NU

July 31 - Ultra
2 PM - UST vs NU
4 PM - FEU vs ADMU

August 2 - Araneta Coliseum
2 PM - ADU vs UP
4 PM - DLSU vs UE

August 3 - Araneta Coliseum
2 PM - NU vs FEU
4 PM - ADMU vs UST

Heroes Returns

Reboot

"Among other things, you'll find that you're not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. You're by no means alone on that score, you'll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You'll learn from them - if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It's a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn't education. It's history. It's poetry."

- J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

With the looming end of summer break, and the onset of another semester at Malcolm, I am about as prepared to go back to my "normal" routine, as I am excited to hear the word "discombobulating" in Evidence class.

The summer went well. I was able to finish most of the things I set out to do after Civpro finals, to wit: have seven teeth filled (one tooth has undergone endodontic therapy, otherwise known as a root canal), bring my wife to her PT sessions (check: she can now walk without the aid of crutches or a cane), finish De Quiros' book (one speech left to read), attend an outing (the Laguna scandal was well documented by Pekto at Youtube), and plan a trip (still working on it). For the past two months, I have been coming in late at the office - much later these past few days, because the first four working hours and live coverage of the NBA Conference Finals just happen to coincide. It's not even a tough choice. And no, it does not bother me.

News that he-who-must-not-be-named will regularly see us again promptly welcomed us from Laguna. I have to give props to the people who immediately made all the right moves (and phone calls), pulled the right strings, and averted what would have been a certain man-made disaster. Never again, dickhead.

As expected, early returns show satisfactory results from last year. Granted, that we are still waiting for the most significant and most important result of them all. I couldn't care less what it says in the end, I am just looking to move on. No man in his right mind, would want to go through that again.

Soundtrack

Di ko malilimutan ang Elbi nights
Siomai, Petrino’s at Big Mac
Lechon kawali at Bug-ong
Footlong na pagka-sarap-sarap
Pagkain para sa lahat

- Elbi Nights, Hemp Republic (17-18 May 2008)

Hindi ko talaga ma-gets kung bakit ka ganyan
Ang feeling mo ay sabik sa iyo ang lahat nang kalalakihan
Sorry, pagpasensyahan mo na
Mali talaga ang iyong inaakala
Lahat kami ay nandidiri sa iyo
Ikaskas mo na sana ang mukha mo sa semento

- Silvertoes, Parokya ni Edgar (19 May 2008)

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

- Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life), Green Day (20 May 2008)

Again, Deep Thoughts

Metro Manila cab drivers are the scum of the Earth.

The day cab drivers in the metropolis stop refusing to convey passengers, is the day a public utility jeepney that can comfortably accomodate all its passengers is invented and mass-produced. It will never happen. If you need to show the utter inutility and incompetence of the LTFRB, the only thing you need to do is try to get a cab ride in Metro Manila, without the driver coming up with some lousy excuse why he cannot go to wherever it is you're going (you'll swear they have some manual on coming up with these excuses), or trying to extort a few more bucks out of you.

* * *

After much thought, I have come to the conclusion that Pokwang is the most annoying person on television now, and probably, ever.

Pokwang, for the uninitiated, is trying hard to be a comedian. The only problem is, the only thing she has going for her, and the only thing she is banking on, is her funny face (read: she is fugly). She tries hard to be funny every freaking day by overly exaggerating every word she says, every facial expression and gesture she makes, and by wearing outrageously stupid costumes so lame, it can probably set off someone with the slightest hint of homicidal tendencies, make him go up the stage, and start chopping her up. The tragedy is, she thinks she's cute that way. Every day, she goes up the stage with Precious Lara Quigaman, Valerie Concepcion, and Mariel Rodriguez. Once you see them all together, you could almost swear you're hearing a Sesame Street song on the background ("Three of these kids belong together; Three of these kids are kind of the same . . .").

(Folks from Honolulu actually shelled out $100/head to party with Pokwang, presumably, among others. If this is not a sad commentary on the Filipino migrant, I do not know what is.)

* * *

We really have a new dean.

Coming through on his promise of encouraging students to "take more responsibility in their choice of electives and professors," CRS, for the first time, is posting the names of the assigned professors. No more TBAs.

(So far, he-who-must-not-be-named is nowhere to be found in CRS. Looking good.)

The Prestige

Suddenly-English-speaking Bearwin Meily is taking himself too seriously. Really now.

He should look Ramon Bautista a.k.a. Dan Michael up. Now, that's entertainment.

The Owl Has Landed

Hooters is a good place to find good chicken wings in the United States. Several friends and colleagues (mostly male) at my first job loved their wings so much that they were not able to resist coming back for more, and usually for the first-timers, asking the Hooter girls to have pictures taken with them. (Yes, you. You know who you are.)

I have been to several Hooters in the US, and I have never had my picture taken with a Hooter girl (I am still ambivalent as to whether that is good or bad). Which probably explains my hesitation at having my picture taken with local Hooter girls. It just doesn't make sense to (1) go home to the Philippines, and (2) wait for over ten years, to have your mugshot finally taken at the Hooters bar.

While our server for my first visit (it won't be the last) at Hooters Manila Bay is admittedly pretty, I noticed that some, if not most, of her colleagues might remind you of those who chose careers of the domestic kind. There were still some "trainors" (Hooter girls from the US) around, which gave Weng a more pronounced idea on the origin of the restaurant's name.

We went there without realizing that the World Pyro Olympics was likewise scheduled that day. The geniuses who run security at MOA screwed up the traffic going there, but it was all well and good, since most of the people in the area were outside waiting for the fireworks to begin when we walked in. According to Claudine (our server), the place is usually packed, and it was packed two hours later, just before we left.

By the way, 20 wings cost P750. I tried the "naked" wings, since I don't remember eating them breaded in the US.