Die, Ken, Die

Being an Eheads junkie, I have always thought that it would almost be impossible to find anybody who doesn't know the Eraserheads, or any their songs, in this country. I would even dare say that most Filipinos know most of the Eheads' songs by heart, and that some songs, like Ligaya, Pare Ko, With a Smile, Kailan, Alapaap, and Magasin, are practically anthems that all Filipinos could sing without breaking a sweat.

That is, until Ken Dingle, a contestant in ABC-5's Philippine Idol, went up on stage a week ago, and promptly mutilated the Eheads' very first hit single before a live and television audience. I was not sure as to what surprised me more - that people in the audience actually cheered and applauded after the most horrible singing performance I have ever witnessed (hey, at least Alyssa Alano knew her lyrics) or that Ely Buendia did not there and then shoot the moron.



I would not be writing this today, if he was booted out last night. But, apparently, Filipinos vote for their Idols the same way they vote for their Congressmen. And no, that is not good. Not good at all. If, for some sick reason, this idiot finds himself in the final two, and somehow wins it all, I suggest that the producers of Philippine Idol slit their throats, for unleashing this horror upon an unsuspecting people.

Unassigned Readings

I have made it a point to read something every time the semestral break rolls in, if only to resensitize myself after being desensitized by five months of "mind-numbing torture and moral erosion." [1] So in preparation for this cleansing ritual, I got myself a copy of a book my sister-in-law recommended to me, one week before the last exam. I wasn't there at Rockwell for the book. It just so happened that upon browsing, I discovered that the paperback copy was out, and I just had to get it.

So, earlier this morning, save for the Author's Notes, which I plan to finish later tonight, I finished the only Anne Rice book that I have ever read. Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt is a "curious portrait of a seven-year-old Jesus, who departs Egypt with his family to return home to Nazareth." [2] Rice narrates, in childlike language, "Jesus' gradual discovery of the miraculous birth his parents have never discussed with him." [3] It is an interesting and refreshing read, just in time for the holidays, I guess. And since it is narrated from the Christ child's perspective, it was an easy read, as well. A very good antidote to the convoluted language of codal provisions and judicial decisions. It would not displace The Catcher in the Rye, but it's up there.

I finished the book one week ahead of time. Which is all good, since now, I have one full week to enjoy Sports Illustrated's NBA Preview Issue, which I had reserved at Bufini last week. This has been a most satisfying break. If only I can read volumes of the SCRA with as much vigor. But, I digress.

Footnotes:

[1]See Ask Scaebolah! #4

[2]See Amazon.com

[3]Id.

"Singaw ng Bayan"

Olats na naman. Sorry Joe, it's a no-go. Belat.

THE SUPREME Court has dismissed the petition filed by pro-Charter change advocates for a people’s initiative to amend the 1987 Constitution.

Voting 8-7, the high tribunal, in its ruling penned by Associate Justice Antonio Carpio, upheld its decision on a similar case in 1997 involving the Commission on Elections vs Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago.

Read all about the really, very good news here.

Good News. I am Normal.

There is this rather conservative assumption that people create Friendster accounts to make new friends, to keep in touch with old ones, to achieve world peace, and all that crap. But, come on. Really now. Ask yourself, why in heaven's name did I have to create this useless account? Here's a wild guess. Pictures. Of. Hot. Chicks. Yep. We are all in it because we are all sick, stalkers looking for hot chicks. Admit it.

“Basically, Jonathan wanted to meet girls,” said Mark J. Pincus, a Silicon Valley entrepreneur who provided Mr. Abrams with some of the seed money to finance his project at the end of 2002. “He told me himself, he started Friendster as a way to surf through his friends’ address books for good-looking girls.”

There is a concept in law called legislative intent. Well, we now have it straight from the horse's mouth, so to speak. If you don't believe me, check out the NY Times. You need an account to login.

Props up to ~C4Chaos for the link.

The Idiot Box, Really

GMA-7's early evening news program had Jolina's new hairstyle as one of its headlines early this week. You read it right: Jolina's new hairstyle. If only to emphasize how fucking serious the issue was, the anchors actually mentioned it not a few times during course of the news program. Well, actually, they mentioned it so many times, you can't help but think that Jolina has probably gone nuts and decided to sport a mohawk dyed orange. In what is probably one of my life's greatest disappointments, it turned out that she just had a haircut. You know, that thing that most every living soul in this planet occassionally does for no significant socio-political or philosophical reason, whatsoever.

In an attempt to drum up interest in its newest import from Korea, the network has, for several weeks, also repeatedly announced on air that Choi something something won the acting awards from the major award-giving bodies in Korea, for her role in their latest soap. Really. But, who the fuck cares?

Frankly, I wouldn't know Choi something something from the other Korean actress sitting next to her. I couldn't care less if she won the Nobel Prize for acting. I have no idea who the fuck she is. And come on, who cares about the Korean acting awards? Frankly, I'm more interested about that crazy bastard up north, who thinks that he can win a war against Dubya and his minions. You have not seen acting until you see those crazy folks tell the world how they would make America pay! Well, either that, or they have been watching too many Koreanovelas, and too few CNN updates.

On Retirement Plans

In The Cop and the Anthem, O. Henry relates the story of a New York City hobo named Soapy, who sets out to get arrested so he can spend the cold winter as a guest of the city jail. Despite efforts at petty theft, vandalism, disorderly conduct, and "mashing", Soapy fails to draw the attention of the police. Disconsolate, he pauses in front of a church, where an organ anthem inspires him to clean up his life - whereupon he is promptly arrested for loitering.

In a rather sad case of life imitating art, CNN.com reports how a 62-year-old man who couldn't find steady work came up with a plan to make it through the next few years until he could collect Social Security: He robbed a bank, then handed the money to a guard and waited for police.

He walked to a bank and handed a teller a note demanding cash in an envelope. The teller gave him four $20 bills and pushed a silent alarm . . . [He] handed the money to a security guard standing in the lobby and told him it was his day to be a hero.

Now, this is something that I am pretty sure will not happen in the Philippines. First, the 62-year-old Pinoy would be living with his kids; and besides, social security is practically non-existent in this country. Second, by the time the PNP arrives, he would have already gone hungry and tired of all the waiting and would have already taken all the bank employees out to lunch. Third, at the rate they are going, the man would already be dead by the time the courts finish hearing the case. Fourth, all the country's politicians will be all over the news about the incident; in the end, the President will pardon him, party-list representatives will rant about how the government is neglecting the poor, and the mayor of Pasig will order an investigation after destroying all the material evidence.

Affirmative Action

Had a nice chat with a good friend a while ago . . .

Vladimir: wala na yung local office dito

Vladimir: tsaka, di na sya ganun ka-selective.

Estragon: eh walang maka-afford sa inyo na local company eh

Vladimir: mas "diverse" na sya

Estragon: hahahaha

Estragon: elitista kang atenista hahahaha

Estragon: bwahahahaha. DIVERSE!!! bwhahahaha

Iskul Bukol

Me: . . . sufficient magnitude . . .
Him: No.
Some other guy: . . . sufficient magnitude . . .
Him: Yeeeesss!

Me: Good faith . . .
Him: No, not good faith . . .
(Browses his bible)
Him: . . . sincerity and good faith . . .

Me: . . . truth and verity of his religious beliefs . . .
Him: . . . No, not religious beliefs . . .
(Browses his bible, yet again)
Him: . . . truth of his religion!

Here's the clincher:

Him: . . . while we moot and analyze, all they do is memorize!

Putangina.

Requiem for a Season

Macky Escalona played the game of his life. JC Intal took the last shot in regulation and in overtime - as it should be. It is still not enough.

In the end, UST's Jojo Duncil simply refused to blink, and his Growling Tigers annexed the UAAP men's basketball crown by going past Ateneo in overtime of Game 3 of what turned out to be one of the best championship series in years.

The Tigers - mostly unnoticed during the preseason - earned the no. 3 spot by beating the Falcons in a one-game playoff, and then went on to beat no. 2 UE twice in a row to face the top-seeded Blue Eagles in the Finals. If not for Doug Kramer's one-second miracle in Game 1, the series would have actually been over last Saturday.

But, both teams saved the best for last, going wire-to-wire from the tip-off up to the final buzzer. It is unfortunate that one team had to lose in this series, and it is more unfortunate still for the Blue and White faithful that that team had to be the Eagles.

OBF.

P.S.

Jojo Duncil was reportedly wary of Bobby "Angelica-Jones-dating" Yan after Game 2. Baka raw kasi batukan siya tapos biglang tumakbo.