"Destabilizers"

Not only are we going to pass Consti; by God, we are going to do it in a well-groomed manner.

Photo courtesy of Inq7.net

First Day Low

What was once a group that reached a high of around 45 people has been, sadly, decimated down to, reportedly, 18 souls. Based on what little I can remember from Probability Theory, I believe that this does not bode well for one's chances of not getting called on to humiliate oneself.

But, aside from the almost mathematical certainty that the cocktail party phenomenon will manifest itself six days a week, there is still a more compelling reason for tempering our exuberance, or at least, what is left of it. The rest of the 45 people who have moved on, were, most importantly, friends and colleagues, who shared in a rather unique experience that can, perhaps, be compared to the military's boot camp. They are talented people who took, and passed, what is probably the most exacting qualifying examination of any academic institution in the country. They have moved on, either temporarily or permanently, because they

a. happened to enrol one year too early, missing Aga's class in LegHis in the process.

b. dropped Method, along with a number of people, apparently enough to constitute a critical mass, giving the professor enough incentive to pass all the 10 people who were courageous, crazy, or lucky enough to have stuck with it.

c. did not pay enough attention to Bib lessons, particularly to those concerning citations.

d. was forced not to enlist in Method, after being placed on probation, after being screwed for not having citations.

e. a and b.

f. c and d.

g. all of the above.

h. none of the above.

P.S.

Repeat after me. "The equal protection of the laws."

Nirvana

If you were watching TV as much as I have over the summer, you couldn't have possibly missed that feminine wash ad where the girls are so ecstatic it drove one of them to do a little jig, and another to do cartwheels.

Let me say at the onset, that biological circumstances do not permit me to patronize their product. I have, however, normal sisters and female friends, who on occasion, talk about their stuff. I am glad that, to this day, I have never had the grief of watching otherwise normal people, so driven to euphoria by their feminine wash, ending up utterly helpless to resist the seemingly primal urge to do cartwheels.

The whole ad is stupid. The whole freaking cast was absolutely giddy at the thought of using the product, that they all appeared like prepubescent teens on a pajama party talking about their first, likewise prepubescent, boyfriends.

The stupid ad is not, however, totally bereft of any merit or redeeming value. If anything, it could serve as excellent material, for the government's campaign against the use of illegal drugs.

* * *

Props up to PDI for devoting a page of their paper yesterday to an alternative universe front page. The whole page was written in Español, with the headline saying it all: "Viva el Rey!" The paper's mascot "Torito" is introduced in the page's ear. It also had a picture of what appears to be the Rizal Monument in Luneta, only that the man immortalized in bronze is not Rizal, but somebody who appears to be a Spanish conquistador on his horse. Yesterday, by the way, was Independence Day.

Don't Panic

All the important numbers are in. Although two of the numbers are still unofficial, they were pried out from rather credible sources. If the numbers and my math turn out to be correct, then, starting next Tuesday, I should be able to enjoy, at least, another year of fear, terror, and doubt. Not necessarily in that order.

So tomorrow, I shall again witness, and participate in, one of the most disorganized and chaotic activities ever designed by man - registration at Malcolm Hall.

Don't get me wrong. There is a line. It just somehow degenerates into one big mass of people converging at the Office of the College Secretary a few minutes before 8 am. This, in a place were lines are supposedly "sacred," where people are studying rules which apply to all!

I am not really hoping for any major miracle. I am resigned to the fact that the college will probably produce two more presidents before they do anything about this mess. But I am hoping that tomorrow, people will exhibit some common decency, and just fucking fall in line.

Erratum

I mentioned the other day that the vehicle, owned by a provincial governor, that was blown to kingdom come was a Hummer H3, which costs, at least, US$29,500.00 or Php1.56M.

I was wrong on two counts.

First, the vehicle was a Hummer H2 - not a Hummer H3. Second, it costs, at least, US$53,855.00 or Php2.85M - not a paltry Php1.56M.

My bad.

Abracadabra

Gloria berated DepEd OIC Fe Hidalgo the other day, for presenting numbers on classroom shortage in the public schools, which, while true, are significantly different from how the Malacanang-resident saw them, or wanted them to appear.

Hidalgo said she used the pupil-classroom ratio of 45 to 1 in her report. This prompted the President to raise her voice as she told the acting education secretary that they had previously agreed to use the ratio of 100 to 1.

If anything, Gloria's ranting and raving clearly shows what everyone else in this country knows - that Assumption-bred Gloria was never, ever enrolled in a public elementary or high school in this country, and therefore, has no idea whatsoever about what she is talking about.

I also have no clue as to where they came up with this so-called "two-shift policy," or who came up with it. I'm pretty sure Gloria did not get it from Assumption because it is not implemented there - or any other private school, for that matter. I don't know why. Maybe because the shifts are pedagogically unsound, and are actually detrimental to the students' health and safety, but that's just a wild guess. The government, apparently, doesn't care, as long as it can show that it is implementing measures to meet, albeit virtually, the classroom shortage.

Yesterday, a provincial governor's vehicle was bombed. The governor survived but his two aides were killed. I wasn't really paying too much attention to the news, until the governor's lawyer announced to the nation what the vehicle was. It was a Hummer H3. You know, the one that would set you back, at least, US$29,500.00 (or Php1.56M). Actually, I think I'll get one later today.

(One dollar = 52.85 pesos)