Boom Tarat Tarat

Suddenly, I'm the sickest person on the planet.

With the total absence of anything resembling free time outside of the two-week Christmas break, I decided to make a trek to the friendly neighborhood doctors to finally get around the consultations I should have done oh so long ago.

In a nutshell, I now know the smell of burning skin. Yep. You get to inhale the smoke and all. But, it's really not that pleasing. That's probably why nobody is into smoking dead skin.

I also got to acquaint myself with some of the prescription drugs that I have been trying, and failing, to have "reimbursed" by my employer for years. In a rather sick twist of fate, I can safely guess that I won't have any problems having these expenses reimbursed this time.

Speaking of free time, Weng got me a copy of NBA Live 07. You have to know that this franchise is the only reason why a Sony Playstation2 is sitting in our room (and of course the Playstation, before that). I had copies of NBA Live 98, 2000, 2003, 2005, 06 and now, 07. It's simply the best game out there, ever. Things have certainly gotten better since I spent free time at Cervini beating the crap out of Roger in bball, but that's another story.

The good old CS faculty in Bagumbayan is now preparing for their second season of NBA Live (PC). Leave it to the CS faculty to come up with such ideas. We once spent days (in between classes, of course) and nights at the office shooting the brains out of terrorists and counter-terrorists. Somebody got bored and decided to rescue naked female hostages, instead. I have no idea how good they are now in NBA Live, but when I left three years ago, only Joshua has managed to give me a good game, and to actually have a chance to beat me, in any given day.

* * *

Huwag maging dayuhan sa sariling bayan.

I will be off to Bicolandia this weekend to spend New Year's Day with the in-laws. And as I'm writing this, I suddenly remembered that I was supposed to bring my PS2 controller with me to Naga. Paksyet.

Happy New Year y'all.

Breaking Out/Going Home

I discovered Prison Break last week. As of last night, I only have about 7 more episodes to go before the protagonists, I presume, finally break out of Fox River Penitentiary. It really has to end soon. Otherwise, I will not be able to get around reading my 30-page backlog in Crimpro. (Forget about advance reading - I am way behind.)

While I get the idea that some of my friends watch the series because of Wentworth Miller (yes, they're girls), the series is rather good in its own right. (Seeing Sarah Wayne Callies regularly doesn't hurt either.) It has a great storyline (I know it looks like a Shawshank rip-off, but I love the Shawshank Redemption) plus the series has several scenes shot in Chicago - which, for me, is always good. Most of the scenes shot downtown are places I'm familiar with: Lower Wacker, Navy Pier, Wrigley Field, the Chicago River - which, by the way, is still as green as ever. Sweet home, Chicago.

* * *

Speaking of home, I will be off to Gapo over the weekend to spend the holidays with my folks. So, Happy Holidays to you and your family. Cheers.

Person of the Year: ME!

I am TIME Magazine's Person of the Year for 2006.

Seriously.

According to the AFP (the press people, not the people shooting the press people), TIME Magazine named 'You' as its person of the year Saturday, with a mirror cover designed to reflect the importance of user-generated Internet content as a driving force in the modern world. The Dec. 25, 2006 issue of TIME Magazine says:

Who are these people? Seriously, who actually sits down after a long day at work and says, I'm not going to watch Lost tonight. I'm going to turn on my computer and make a movie starring my pet iguana? I'm going to mash up 50 Cent's vocals with Queen's instrumentals? I'm going to blog about my state of mind or the state of the nation or the steak-frites at the new bistro down the street? Who has that time and that energy and that passion?

The answer is, you do. And for seizing the reins of the global media, for founding and framing the new digital democracy, for working for nothing and beating the pros at their own game, TIME's Person of the Year for 2006 is you.

This certainly calls for a celebration. Now, I only need to figure out how to put this into my resume without making me appear like a clown.

The Hill

I left home at 16, in a sense, never to come back. I was young, I was brash, and I was looking forward to meeting head on, four of the most challenging and unforgettable years of my life. For the first time, I was alone, and for the first time, I was completely surrounded by brilliant people whose academic preparation sadly exposed the magnitude of the shortcomings of my own high school education.

I have visited my old college campus many times since I left it as a student many years ago. While more and more buildings have sprouted from what were once open fields, and Camp Big Falcon has risen from what once was the shortcut to Bel; while traffic has since gone from bad to really god-awful, and somehow you think that less girls are wearing shorts now; as sappy as it sounds, somehow, you still feel that you are home.

Downtime

For all intents and purposes, 2006 at Malcolm Hall ended last night for the block. There is still a class scheduled for tonight, but knowing the man's propensity for disappearing acts, chances are we won't see him again until 2007, if ever.

In any case, I plan to be at the University on Friday to (1) pick up my "copy" of a textbook from the SC, (2) maybe see the lantern parade for the first time since 15 years ago (for the love of everything good and holy, has it been that long?), and (3) diss the faculty at the Malcolm Madness.

Workload at the office is rather light. In fact, it is so light that for the past week, aside from doing school work, I have just been picking on idiots at public fora and stalking people over the Internet.

If you know where to look, you can find almost anything on the Internet. Aside from learning that your friends have hot friends who frequent Boracay (the pictures really help), sometimes, you also get to remind yourself, that indeed, only a few things are as pleasing as knowing that the stuck-up homecoming queen ended up with Cornelius.

Now, ain't life grand?

Course Work

The regular visitors of this site (yes, all two of you) must have noticed that not much is happening 'round this neck of the woods. On the contrary, I have been too busy screwing my employer that I barely found the time to screw it some more (Yep, that's where I'm composing this masterpiece right now).

We had quite a load to read last week, which was precisely why I was virtually on leave from work. But, of course, if you would only diligently check the records, you will find out that my ass was at the office for 40 hours.

Of course, not a single one of the good professors who assigned the comatose-inducing readings was able to cover all their assignments (one of them did not even see us the whole week), but trust me, you really do not want to risk being caught unprepared - unless, of course, you feel lucky. That, and you really want to make some professor's day.

All this couldn't possibly make me long for the looming Christmas break any more than I do right now. I really need a freaking break. At least, last year we had interesting stuff to read, like drawbridges being bombarded, politicians screaming "vulva of your mother!", half -naked dancers interpreting the life of a woman whose guerilla husband was killed during the war, and naked would-be rape victims running in front of the town hall. Now, all we have are debtors screwing creditors, and creditors screwing debtors. Well, that, and irresponsible drivers who hit people on bicycles, fences, stores, and other people trying to fix a parked car on the side of the road.

Not a Gifted Child

Unang Hirit broadcast a footage of a police operation to stop a suspected car thief from getting away early this morning. The clip showed a red Honda Civic that occupied almost half of the street along Makati Avenue before dawn.

Makati police responded to a call that informed them of an attempt to steal the vehicle, but what the operatives saw surprised them because there was no one there.

According to the Inquirer:

On further investigation, police discovered that the handbrake of the car was down, which could have caused the vehicle to slide from where it had been parked, the report said.

The situation became clearer when the car owner, who admitted to having made the call, claimed not to have noticed that the handbrake was down, the report said.

The owner had called police when she saw her vehicle, which had been parked for almost an hour, move out from its slot, the report said.

At the back of my mind, I can't help but think that Bitoy is hiding somewhere just about ready to scream, "Yari ka!"

Tapos Na ang Boksing

For three beautiful and magnificent rounds yesterday, I could almost forgive Manny Pacquiao for even trying to sing.


It was short and it was sweet. The bout was over even before the Pacman's mother, Dionisia, could finish saying her rosary at her home in General Santos City.

Para sa 'yo . . . ang laban na 'tooooo . . .

image courtesy of INQ7.net.

Deep Thoughts II

Some mysteries in life will forever escape elucidation. Atlantis. The Bermuda Triangle. Alchemy and the Philosopher's Stone. Nostradamus. The works of Da Vinci. The mathematics of fat, bald lawyers.

I was done with the registration at Malcolm quite early yesterday, and I was able to sign up for the only two-unit elective course that fits into our schedule. (Yes, they still call it an elective.) I am guessing that the 34 folks who preenlisted changed their minds after the class was moved from Wednesday to Friday. They used a renovated room for the registration, which is definitely way better than the really, very cramped area in the OCS.

There are still some people who managed to finish early despite arriving about two hours later than everybody else. They have many friends. Shameless and insensitive maybe, but friends nonetheless. Some things never change. Where is Luli Arroyo when you need her?

The College Secretary chided me for referring to a professor by his first name. For a second, I was really tempted to tell her the big secret (that we all refer to the professor by his first name). But, only for a second.

Speaking of the Arroyos, Dato, who will run for Representative in the first district of Camarines Sur, has updated his Friendster profile. The Ateneo de Naga alum's hometown now reads as "La Vista, Quezon Citeh! Libmanan, Cam Sur!" A few points to ponder. Naga City is in the second district. GMA's lapdog in the House, Luis Villafuerte, is the incumbent Representative of the second district. He's on his first term. The erstwhile congressman of the first district, Rolando Andaya, Jr., was appointed by GMA to a Cabinet post.

I also lived in Naga City. I taught in one of its universities for three years. By choice. I am married to a full-blooded Nagueña. But, I don't have the temerity to think that I have earned the right to call myself a Bicolano. Different strokes, for different folks.

This Day in History

General Interest

1991 : Magic Johnson announces he is HIV positive
1885 : Canada's transcontinental railway completed
1940 : Tacoma Bridge collapses
1944 : FDR reelected a record third time
1989 : Two African American firsts in politics

American Revolution

1776 : Post office stays in the Franklin family

Automotive

1957 : East Germany launches the Trabant Sputnik
1965 : Green Monster sets new speed record

Civil War

1861 : Battle of Belmont, Missouri

Cold War

1957 : Gaither Report calls for more U.S. missiles and fallout shelters

Crime

1983 : A family is brutally murdered

Disaster

1940 : Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapses

Entertainment

1943 : Joni Mitchell born
1951 : Ava Gardner and Frank Sinatra marry

Literary

1913 : French novelist Albert Camus is born

Old West

1916 : Jeannette Rankin becomes first U.S. congresswoman

Presidential

1944 : FDR wins unprecedented fourth term

Vietnam War

1964 : U.S. intelligence asserts numbers of North Vietnamese in South Vietnam growing
1966 : McNamara shouted down at Harvard speech
1972 : Nixon re-elected president

Wall Street

1918 : Rumors close NYSE
1984 : Wall Street's election woes
1997 : Greenspan speaks in Germany

World War I

1914 : First issue of The New Republic published

World War II

1944 : Soviet master spy is hanged by the Japanese

From The History Channel.

Die, Ken, Die

Being an Eheads junkie, I have always thought that it would almost be impossible to find anybody who doesn't know the Eraserheads, or any their songs, in this country. I would even dare say that most Filipinos know most of the Eheads' songs by heart, and that some songs, like Ligaya, Pare Ko, With a Smile, Kailan, Alapaap, and Magasin, are practically anthems that all Filipinos could sing without breaking a sweat.

That is, until Ken Dingle, a contestant in ABC-5's Philippine Idol, went up on stage a week ago, and promptly mutilated the Eheads' very first hit single before a live and television audience. I was not sure as to what surprised me more - that people in the audience actually cheered and applauded after the most horrible singing performance I have ever witnessed (hey, at least Alyssa Alano knew her lyrics) or that Ely Buendia did not there and then shoot the moron.



I would not be writing this today, if he was booted out last night. But, apparently, Filipinos vote for their Idols the same way they vote for their Congressmen. And no, that is not good. Not good at all. If, for some sick reason, this idiot finds himself in the final two, and somehow wins it all, I suggest that the producers of Philippine Idol slit their throats, for unleashing this horror upon an unsuspecting people.

Unassigned Readings

I have made it a point to read something every time the semestral break rolls in, if only to resensitize myself after being desensitized by five months of "mind-numbing torture and moral erosion." [1] So in preparation for this cleansing ritual, I got myself a copy of a book my sister-in-law recommended to me, one week before the last exam. I wasn't there at Rockwell for the book. It just so happened that upon browsing, I discovered that the paperback copy was out, and I just had to get it.

So, earlier this morning, save for the Author's Notes, which I plan to finish later tonight, I finished the only Anne Rice book that I have ever read. Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt is a "curious portrait of a seven-year-old Jesus, who departs Egypt with his family to return home to Nazareth." [2] Rice narrates, in childlike language, "Jesus' gradual discovery of the miraculous birth his parents have never discussed with him." [3] It is an interesting and refreshing read, just in time for the holidays, I guess. And since it is narrated from the Christ child's perspective, it was an easy read, as well. A very good antidote to the convoluted language of codal provisions and judicial decisions. It would not displace The Catcher in the Rye, but it's up there.

I finished the book one week ahead of time. Which is all good, since now, I have one full week to enjoy Sports Illustrated's NBA Preview Issue, which I had reserved at Bufini last week. This has been a most satisfying break. If only I can read volumes of the SCRA with as much vigor. But, I digress.

Footnotes:

[1]See Ask Scaebolah! #4

[2]See Amazon.com

[3]Id.

"Singaw ng Bayan"

Olats na naman. Sorry Joe, it's a no-go. Belat.

THE SUPREME Court has dismissed the petition filed by pro-Charter change advocates for a people’s initiative to amend the 1987 Constitution.

Voting 8-7, the high tribunal, in its ruling penned by Associate Justice Antonio Carpio, upheld its decision on a similar case in 1997 involving the Commission on Elections vs Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago.

Read all about the really, very good news here.

Good News. I am Normal.

There is this rather conservative assumption that people create Friendster accounts to make new friends, to keep in touch with old ones, to achieve world peace, and all that crap. But, come on. Really now. Ask yourself, why in heaven's name did I have to create this useless account? Here's a wild guess. Pictures. Of. Hot. Chicks. Yep. We are all in it because we are all sick, stalkers looking for hot chicks. Admit it.

“Basically, Jonathan wanted to meet girls,” said Mark J. Pincus, a Silicon Valley entrepreneur who provided Mr. Abrams with some of the seed money to finance his project at the end of 2002. “He told me himself, he started Friendster as a way to surf through his friends’ address books for good-looking girls.”

There is a concept in law called legislative intent. Well, we now have it straight from the horse's mouth, so to speak. If you don't believe me, check out the NY Times. You need an account to login.

Props up to ~C4Chaos for the link.

The Idiot Box, Really

GMA-7's early evening news program had Jolina's new hairstyle as one of its headlines early this week. You read it right: Jolina's new hairstyle. If only to emphasize how fucking serious the issue was, the anchors actually mentioned it not a few times during course of the news program. Well, actually, they mentioned it so many times, you can't help but think that Jolina has probably gone nuts and decided to sport a mohawk dyed orange. In what is probably one of my life's greatest disappointments, it turned out that she just had a haircut. You know, that thing that most every living soul in this planet occassionally does for no significant socio-political or philosophical reason, whatsoever.

In an attempt to drum up interest in its newest import from Korea, the network has, for several weeks, also repeatedly announced on air that Choi something something won the acting awards from the major award-giving bodies in Korea, for her role in their latest soap. Really. But, who the fuck cares?

Frankly, I wouldn't know Choi something something from the other Korean actress sitting next to her. I couldn't care less if she won the Nobel Prize for acting. I have no idea who the fuck she is. And come on, who cares about the Korean acting awards? Frankly, I'm more interested about that crazy bastard up north, who thinks that he can win a war against Dubya and his minions. You have not seen acting until you see those crazy folks tell the world how they would make America pay! Well, either that, or they have been watching too many Koreanovelas, and too few CNN updates.

On Retirement Plans

In The Cop and the Anthem, O. Henry relates the story of a New York City hobo named Soapy, who sets out to get arrested so he can spend the cold winter as a guest of the city jail. Despite efforts at petty theft, vandalism, disorderly conduct, and "mashing", Soapy fails to draw the attention of the police. Disconsolate, he pauses in front of a church, where an organ anthem inspires him to clean up his life - whereupon he is promptly arrested for loitering.

In a rather sad case of life imitating art, CNN.com reports how a 62-year-old man who couldn't find steady work came up with a plan to make it through the next few years until he could collect Social Security: He robbed a bank, then handed the money to a guard and waited for police.

He walked to a bank and handed a teller a note demanding cash in an envelope. The teller gave him four $20 bills and pushed a silent alarm . . . [He] handed the money to a security guard standing in the lobby and told him it was his day to be a hero.

Now, this is something that I am pretty sure will not happen in the Philippines. First, the 62-year-old Pinoy would be living with his kids; and besides, social security is practically non-existent in this country. Second, by the time the PNP arrives, he would have already gone hungry and tired of all the waiting and would have already taken all the bank employees out to lunch. Third, at the rate they are going, the man would already be dead by the time the courts finish hearing the case. Fourth, all the country's politicians will be all over the news about the incident; in the end, the President will pardon him, party-list representatives will rant about how the government is neglecting the poor, and the mayor of Pasig will order an investigation after destroying all the material evidence.

Affirmative Action

Had a nice chat with a good friend a while ago . . .

Vladimir: wala na yung local office dito

Vladimir: tsaka, di na sya ganun ka-selective.

Estragon: eh walang maka-afford sa inyo na local company eh

Vladimir: mas "diverse" na sya

Estragon: hahahaha

Estragon: elitista kang atenista hahahaha

Estragon: bwahahahaha. DIVERSE!!! bwhahahaha

Iskul Bukol

Me: . . . sufficient magnitude . . .
Him: No.
Some other guy: . . . sufficient magnitude . . .
Him: Yeeeesss!

Me: Good faith . . .
Him: No, not good faith . . .
(Browses his bible)
Him: . . . sincerity and good faith . . .

Me: . . . truth and verity of his religious beliefs . . .
Him: . . . No, not religious beliefs . . .
(Browses his bible, yet again)
Him: . . . truth of his religion!

Here's the clincher:

Him: . . . while we moot and analyze, all they do is memorize!

Putangina.

Requiem for a Season

Macky Escalona played the game of his life. JC Intal took the last shot in regulation and in overtime - as it should be. It is still not enough.

In the end, UST's Jojo Duncil simply refused to blink, and his Growling Tigers annexed the UAAP men's basketball crown by going past Ateneo in overtime of Game 3 of what turned out to be one of the best championship series in years.

The Tigers - mostly unnoticed during the preseason - earned the no. 3 spot by beating the Falcons in a one-game playoff, and then went on to beat no. 2 UE twice in a row to face the top-seeded Blue Eagles in the Finals. If not for Doug Kramer's one-second miracle in Game 1, the series would have actually been over last Saturday.

But, both teams saved the best for last, going wire-to-wire from the tip-off up to the final buzzer. It is unfortunate that one team had to lose in this series, and it is more unfortunate still for the Blue and White faithful that that team had to be the Eagles.

OBF.

P.S.

Jojo Duncil was reportedly wary of Bobby "Angelica-Jones-dating" Yan after Game 2. Baka raw kasi batukan siya tapos biglang tumakbo.

The Invisible Hand

Getting tickets for Game 2 of the UAAP Finals just got really difficult. Ateneans are expecting, or at least hoping, to watch the 69th season end on a triumphant note, and everybody from Loyola Heights apparently wants a piece of it.

SRO tickets, as usual, will be sold on gameday itself. Which simply means that you have to line up early in the morning, and wait for the booths to start selling them. Plan B is to get GenAd tickets (the nosebleed section), and jump down to Upper B. Plan C is, of course, stay home and watch it on TV.

The scalpers' are also having a field day. Upper A tickets (face value: 120) reportedly went up from 350 to 700 yesterday alone. Today's going rate is 800. Patron seats are reportedly being sold for at least 2000.

Advisory: The games (the Eaglets are likewise playing for the championship) will be telecast live at the Blue Eagle Gym, High School Cafeteria, College Cafeteria, and Ateneo Professional Schools Atrium, Rockwell.

Bedlam

One down. One to go.

I don't think it is necessary to discuss the last play of the ballgame yesterday, which most viewers would have already seen repeatedly on TV and on YouTube. Well, except for those of us at the venue, who were too busy deliriously celebrating to pay any attention to the widescreen.

UST's Allan Evangelista learned a painful lesson yesterday when he celebrated - probably a little prematurely - after making the go-ahead shot with one second left in the game clock. In fact, he and the Tigers were too happy that they left Doug Kramer wide open on the next, and last, play of the game.


The zebras, being the morons that they are, almost won the game for UST. For starters, the three blind mice should be made to learn and relearn the definition of a backcourt violation. They are taking the joy out of the game. If they want to play, they could probably play for some schools who have "rookies" who, chances are, went to grade school with them.

Photo courtesy of www.fabilioh.com.

Almost There

Barry announced last night that we won't be meeting on Monday. Which means one thing, and one thing only. I can, and I will, substantially satisfy my craving for hoops this Sunday, without any tinge of guilt or letdown whatsoever. Well, at least if we win. Otherwise, there would be plenty of letdown to go around.

He also won't be calling any more people for recits until the end of the sem. Which means I am pretty much set until the finals week rolls in. Which, is not really saying much since the final exam will account for sixty effing percent of the final grade.

I am also in knots trying to write a paper about, of all things, blogging. It would have been pretty simple and straightforward, if it isn't for a course called Legal Theory. I am planning to insert a sentence or two about Liberalism just to make a connection - any connection - no matter how flimsy. I have an eerie feeling it will be like Consti 1 and the E-VAT all over again. Crap.

The schedule for the second semester is also out at CRS. Partially, at least. Once again, there are two classes on Saturdays. Which means that Friday nights and Saturday afternoons will be cramming sessions again. It's not really a good study method. Not unless, of course, you have no choice.

SRO

In what probably is the most horribly-officiated basketball game I have ever seen, Ateneo barely survived Ken Bono, Patrick Cabahug, three dumbass zebras, and three token goons from the Manila City Jail. Despite all the Ts, the dubious foul calls, Adamson's not-so-subtle attempts to physically maim our players, and those two crucial - almost backbreaking - TOs in the last 30 seconds, the Blue Eagles won. To Adamson: welcome to your first Final Four. We hope you enjoyed the experience while it lasted.


(Seats are just suggestions.)

In the second game, the no. 3 seed, UST beat the no. 2 seed, UE. Good job, UST. Now, since you two would be playing another game on Thursday, (1) I don't have to call in sick, and (2) I don't have to miss Consti 2.

OBF.

On to the Fray

image courtesy of www.admu.edu.ph.

Curiouser and Curiouser

The following excerpt is from p. 46 of the UAAP Fact Finding Report on the DLSU PEP Test Scandal. See, and judge, for yourself.

"He (Mark Benitez) stated that Bro. Casingal (Bro. Roberto ‘Bro. Bobby’ Casingal, FSC, DLSU Director for Sports Development) went to their house and he was made to write:

"Atty. Villa: When did he go to your house?

"Mr. Mark Benitez: Nakalimutan ko na rin po eh. Parang pinasulat niya ko na kung ano yung mga ilalabas ko about kung...hindi na magbabanggit about kay Jun Tiongco at kay Derek Pumaren kasi daw po matataas daw yun...mahirap kalabanin." (I’ve forgotten. Seems he made me write about what I would disclose...no more mention about Jun Tiongco or Derek Pumaren because they’re high up there...hard to fight.)

"Atty. Villa: Who said that?

"Mr. Mark Benitez: Si Bro. Bobby po. (Mark Benitez, TSN, p. 24)"

Right now, it appears that more people, than the public was made to believe, were involved. It is also a rather sick coincidence that Jun Tiongco, one of the main characters in this sordid tale, is an assistant coach for UE, under Dindo Pumaren, and is also an assistant coach for Talk and Text, under Derek Pumaren. If you've been hiding under a rock for the past 10 years, just so you know, Franz Pumaren is DLSU's head coach. But, of course, I'm sure that the good QC councilor has absolutely nothing to do with this.

Balls

The Eagles showed no letdown for playing in a no-bearing game, and eliminated the Tamaraws from Final Four contention yesterday, 70-68.

FEU was leading 68-65, when Chris Tiu drilled a three-point basket to tie the game with some 40 seconds left. After FEU's Jeff Chan missed a three, Doug Kramer grabbed the rebound, and passed off to Escalona who calmly brought the ball downcourt. With less than 10 seconds left, JC Intal received the ball from Escalona at quarter court, drove through the middle and made a lay-up with 1.2 seconds left.


FEU had no more timeouts. Game, and season, over.

The Falcons and the Tigers, tied at 6-6, would play a game on Thursday for the no. 3 seed and the right to play the no. 2 seed, UE. The loser will go on to play the Eagles, who were seeded no. 1 as early as last week. (Let's all cheer for the Falcons on Thursday, just so we can have give a little payback to UST.)

A few game notes:

Game analyst Ronnie Magsanoc irritated me no end, for repeatedly insisting that the no. 1 seed would face the no. 3 seed. It's one versus four. ONE versus FOUR. Man, that would be one dumb bracket.

Another hilarious halftime performance by the Blue Babble Band. I say we let them perform during the cheerdance competition. You know, just to show how seriously we take that thing.

Hallelujah!

Doctors and medical students: fret no more.

FOR frustrated doctors and medical students eyeing a nursing career overseas, President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo offered an alternative she says should keep them home.

“I’d like to make special mention to frustrated doctors, don’t leave medical school because medical transcription (is here),” Arroyo said at a roundtable discussion in Malacañang on Thursday.

My God. Just where would this country be without her?

Shameless Plugging

Carlo J. Caparas, the "massacre" film king, who brought upon us film classics such as, The Maggie dela Riva Story and Vizconde Massacre, is eyeing to produce a movie on - of all people - Ninoy, "based on the convicts’ version of the truth." Legal genius Caparas, who may or may not be suffering from a delusion that he's Oliver Stone, will supposedly advance his own "one-bullet, one-triggerman theory."

“Only one bullet killed Ninoy. How come 16 people were convicted?”

Without passing on the man's aptitude in critical thinking, or the state of his common sense, let me just say that his appreciation of this country's penal laws and his sense of history must be leaning a wee-bit towards the deficient side. Because, in the real world, we call it a conspiracy. It's in the dictionary. Look it up.

The Three Point Dunk

Noli Eala seemed to have suddenly developed a weird case of brain fart, and is pushing for a three point dunk.

Now, that, to me, really sounds like a novel, if not revolutionary, idea. The only problem is that it's laughable, idiotic, and downright stupid. Who, in his right mind, would suddenly develop a rule for professional basketball that nobody else in the known universe has ever thought of adopting, and is absolutely unsuited for the Filipino physiology? Come to think of it, should the board members suddenly lose all their mental faculties, and decide to approve this really stupid proposal, imports will no longer need their local teammates. Except, of course, to inbound the ball.

While the NBA is changing its rules to push for more ball movement, and results of FIBA-sanctioned events show that we should emphasize outside shooting and teamwork, Noli Eala is, apparently, suffering from a delusion that all that Filipinos want to see are showboating and individual plays.

Here's an idea, Mr. Eala, why don't you just invent a new game, start a new league, and play with the rules as you see fit. Leave basketball alone.

Dumb and Dumber

Raul Gonzales, the Justice Secretary who always has something derogatory to say against somebody, has decided over the weekend to pick on the UP system:

That school breeds the destabilizers that haunt the country year after year. They are acting as if they are the only ones who know how to run the country.

x x x

I doff my hat to them because they initiate the running of naked people... That’s also one kind of culture that they develop there... Maybe we are going in that direction... there are now women running naked. I will not be surprised if they will go to school with only their books, nothing more.

In response to his statements, the UP Alphi Phi Omega fraternity staged a “special edition” of their yearly Oblation Run at the Diliman campus yesterday, if only "to show the UP community that the fraternity was not going to take the justice secretary’s remarks sitting down." There is no feedback yet from Gonzales if the streakers, one way or the other, destabilized the country.

But what do we know? The state, after all, according to Gonzales, "is the one paying for [our] schooling," unlike Gonzales, who incidentally is from the University of Sto. Tomas(!) - the reason, supposedly, why he is "well-behaved.” He said, "I think some degree of gratitude should be there also."

Well, I am a taxpayer. So, I am paying him his salary as Justice Secretary. I believe the good secretary should likewise repay me, by say, slitting his throat.

Eight and Done

The UST Tigers avenged their first round demolition at the hands of Ateneo by beating the Eagles in OT yesterday, 88-80. The Eagles were leading by three points, off a Doug Kramer jumper with 10 seconds left in regulation, 69-66, before shit happened.

UST's rookie center Jervy Cruz scored all but four of his 14 points in overtime to put an end to the Eagles' eight-game winning streak. The team tied the win streak mark set by the 2002 UAAP champion team, and the 2004 Eagles.

At this point, the difference between the #1 and #2 seeds is just too insignificant. I don't think it will make much of a difference if Ateneo ends up playing either Adamson, FEU, or even UST in the Final Four.

Having said that, I hope that the team would just relax and play. I am not saying that they drop all their games, But there is a bigger goal ahead of them, and that is what they should be preparing for.

OBF.

Help Needed

Joshua has started a mini-campaign (I really don't know what to call it) to bring attention to Jones' condition. Jones, one of the finest people I have ever had the opportunity of knowing, currently suffers from some debilitating disease, which, as far as I know, still cannot be identified by his doctors. The news has quickly spread to Jones' former students, fellow alumni, and classmates.

I suggested to Joshua that he seek the help of the University and its Alumni Affairs Office - which I thought should not be waiting for such appeal in the first place - given the fact that Jones is both an alumnus (HS and College) and a member of its faculty. The resources at the University's disposal would be a substantial shot in the arm not only in information dissemination and fund-raising, but perhaps more importantly, in arm-wringing. While there is nothing, as of yet, in the University's website regarding Jones' plight, I would give it the benefit of the doubt. It's hard to be pissed off when you're eight hours away by land.

If you're from Naga, or if you know someone from Naga, kindly pass the note. And say a prayer for Jones, while you're at it.

Final Four Bound

With FEU's loss to UE in the second game last Sunday, the Eagles also clinched the first twice-to-beat incentive in the Final Four.

Still looking good.

Photo courtesy of www.fabilioh.com.

The Best President We Never Had

"I return from exile and to an uncertain future with only determination and faith to offer – faith in our people and faith in God."

- Benigno S. Aquino, Jr. (1932-1983), from a prepared speech Ninoy was supposed to deliver upon his arrival in Manila

Make-Believe Part III

My wife tells me that the latest incarnation of the Marvin-Jolina tandem on TV is about to end. The story, revolves around four people who for a really, very brief and temporally inconsequential period of their lives, find themselves in the Big Apple. Hence, the title of the show.

The creators of the show have assumed that a majority of its viewers are idiots. That, boys and girls, is the only logical explanation why they allowed several storylines that do not make the slightest sense, and would probably be rejected in a fantaserye.

First, the US Embassy will admit that Dubya is a moron, before it would grant a US visa to an unemployed minor, from the some rural area in the Philippines, who just happened to win barely enough money for a one-way ticket from some noontime show. No, they won't really care that you won it on Laban O Bawi. How he planned to actually live in the US was, conveniently, never explained. If this crap happened in real life, Toni Gonzaga wouldn't have a movie.

Second, contrary to the images shown on the boob tube, Filipinos in New York, or anywhere in the US for that matter, legal or otherwise, actually do open their windows. For some stupid reason, whenever the cast is supposedly indoors in NY, there are no windows. If for some architectural miracle, windows do find their way into the rooms, they are always covered shut. The only explanation I can surmise from this observation is that, should the viewer see through the windows of their sets, the viewer will most probably wonder why NY looks a lot like QC.

Third, they mistook the INS for the PNP. The INS is not that inept. Just ask Atong Ang or Joc-joc Bolante. Jolina may run faster, but the assumption that dear Jolina has a more calculating criminal mind than either Atong or Joc-joc is just too incredible, and is undeserving of any iota of belief.

WTF?!

WTF #1:

I believe that every person is entitled to his own opinion, but for an Atenean to say that he'd "rather see ADMU lose to DLSU rather than see AMDU (sic) win the championship without facing DLSU" is not just plain wrong. It's utterly stupid. For it to actually come out in the Ateneo college paper itself, well, that's really something else.

With all due respect to the writer (I also once wrote for the Guidon), I'd rather lose to NU year in and year out, than lose a single game vs. la salle. I am rather certain the other side feels the same way.

WTF #2:

Great job by the Eagles last Sunday in totally and absolutely dismantling the UST Growling Tigers, that by the end of the second quarter, the Growling Tigers reportedly considered changing their nickname to the Whimpering Pussies.

The game was tied 30-all early in the second quarter, when Chris Tiu unloaded 8 straight points to put the Eagles up 38-30. At the end of the second quarter, the score was 63-36. No, that is not a typo.

The Eagles have swept the first round for the second time in three years. Two years ago, after sweeping the first round, they promptly lost the next game, and went on to end the second round with a 4-3 card. Those past events puts the current season into perspective and makes you enjoy the season in a state of guarded optimism.

Five-and-Oh

Today is the feast day of St. Ignatius of Loyola.

On this day two years ago, during what came to be known as "The Larry Game," the Blue Eagles came back from a 20-point deficit, to beat the Adamson Falcons by three points on an LA Tenorio buzzer beater. It was probably the most improbable comeback I have seen live on the basketball floor, and to this day, remains one of the most memorable Ateneo games I have ever seen.

(The most memorable game would be the one played way back in 1994, when a bunch of unknowns from Loyola beat one of the best basketball teams to ever come out of La Salle.)

So I figured yesterday would be a good day for Ateneo basketball. Too good, in fact, that I set II Tolentino aside until after the final buzzer. Until yesterday, the Eagles were winning by an average margin of four points and change. Their last three games were not decided until the last two minutes of the game. (It's not really the sport to follow if you have a heart condition.) Yesterday, as if on cue, the Eagles beat the title-favorite UE Warriors. As early as the second quarter. They couldn't have possibly chosen a better day to finally win one convincingly.


It was a great all-around game for the Hail Mary squad. Escalona led the scoring with 14 points, including a back-breaking three after the Warriors almost closed the gap down to six. JC Intal had 10 assists (on top of 12 points and 8 rebounds). Nine eagles scored five points or more. (The Warriors' fifth-leading scorer, Martinez, sizzled with 3 points.)

OBF.

(This, by the way, is my 100th post. Yahoo.)

Photo courtesy of www.fabilioh.com.

Sincerity

In yesterday's State of the Nation Address, GMA said:

Sa mga lalawigang sakop ng 7th Division, nakikibaka sa kalaban si Jovito Palparan. Hindi siya aatras hanggang makawala sa gabi ng kilabot ang mga pamayanan at maka-ahon sa bukang-liwayway ng hustisya at kalayaan.

In the same breath, she said:

In the harshest possible terms I condemn political killings. We together stopped judicial executions with the abolition of the death penalty. We urge witnesses to come forward. Together we will stop extrajudicial executions.

You read it right, she condemned political killings immediately after she praised Palparan. As the AM radio commentator said this morning, "Yan ang presidente: sincere!"

Study Now, Pray Later

This is what happens when you do not read the commentaries for the entire first half of the term; when all you did, every week, was cram all the 15 or so assigned cases into your head a good 15 hours before class. (That would be a neat ratio of one case per hour, if you discount the fact that you still have to sleep, eat something and take a shower before going to class) You will try to absorb as much crap as De Leon could toss at you, in the shortest amount of time humanly possible.

So, many thanks to Glenda, or to Gloria, for suspending Property today, and to whatever organization which is the causa of us having no Consti 2 on Tuesday. I will have some more spare time within which I can allow De Leon to eliminate as much of my functioning brain cells as possible.

But, I still have two weeks, right? Yes. It would have been perfect if all classes are suspended until August 4, and if there are no make-up classes to screw your schedule up until then. But, of course classes, as life, go on and according to Scaebolah, "as far as your professors are concerned, you are the lowest possible life form." So there. My boss, on the other hand, is already giving me the look after I told him that I really, really need to be absent from work on August 3 and 4. Well, I can get sick, you know?

* * *

The R.A. Gapuz Review Center placed an ad in the Inquirer last Saturday, proudly proclaiming that they placed the most number of reviewees in the top ten of the nursing board examinations.

I am not sure if that is a sick joke, considering that it has already admitted that it gave its students a document containing exam topics the day before the June 11 and 12 nursing board examinations, which turned out to be, allegedly, handwritten samples of the tests.

According to the Inquirer, Ray Gapuz, founder of the review center, said he did not know if the 18-page manuscript was a “leak” and if it actually contained the exact questions in the licensing exams. But when asked if the topics in the document had appeared in the June 11 and 12 exam, Gapuz replied: “Allegedly, sabi nila (That’s what they say).”

I don't know about you. But, if my review center manages to get a copy of the actual exam questions before the actual exams, placing the most number of reviewees in the top ten is probably the least that it can do. Like, hallouer!!!

Detour

A blogger, who turned out to be the wife of one of UP's assistant coaches, remarked that:

My two beloved alma maters slugged it out at the Ninoy Aquino stadium last Sunday. Either way I'd win. But when it comes to the hardcourt, I'm a Maroon. (I'm an Eagle only in the moot court.)

Well, I personally know some people who can emphatize with her completely. Only sometimes, "when it comes to the hardcourt," it's the other way around.

(One Big Fight!)

The State of the Nation

When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.

When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.

When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.

When they came for the Jews,
I did not speak out;
I was not a Jew.

When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.

- Martin Niemöller, First they came...

The following is from the online petition for the immediate release of Sherlyn Cadapan and Karen Empeño. It is posted on the Philippine Collegian 2006-2007 website.

On June 26, 2006, bonnet-wearing armed men, suspected elements of the 7th Infantry Division, forcibly entered a house of local folk in Hagonoy, Bulacan and forcibly abducted Sherlyn, Karen and Manuel Merino, a local farmer. The armed men introduced themselves as ‘vigilantes.’

Sherlyn, who is two months pregnant, was hit in the stomach as she was shouting for help. Witnesses related that the armed men removed Karen’s shirt and used it to cover her face. They dragged the two women outside and rode off in a passenger jeepney vehicle.

Until now, Sherlyn and Karen have not yet surfaced. While the military denied their involvement in their forced disappearance, Major Gen. Jovito Palparan, head of the 7th ID, immediately accused them as members of the New People’s Army. In a statement released after the abduction, Gen. Palparan insultingly said that ‘they are better off gone.’

Sherlyn and Karen are student volunteers who went to Bulacan to conduct research on the peasant situation in the province. They are also known student leaders from the University of the Philippines (UP).

Sherlyn is an award-winning triathlete and a former College of Human Kinetics representative to the UP Diliman Student Council. Karen, on the other hand, is a Sociology major who was conducting research in the province for the completion of her thesis. They are also active members of Anakbayan and League of Filipino Students, respectively. These youth organizations have been maliciously tagged as ‘communist front organizations’ by the Armed Forces of the Philippines.

Eric Salamat, Your Table is Ready

Photo courtesy of www.fabilioh.com.

Opening Day

For the uninitiated, please be advised that during college basketball games, people do usually stand up from time to time. Some of the spectators can be observed clapping, cheering, screaming, and sometimes even cursing the zebras. Do not panic. Note that this is far from being weird. It is normal. Most specially, when the spectators are rooting for one of the teams to win (which is usually the case). You are there, along with all the people at your side of the arena, precisely, to express your shared conviction that, you are God's chosen people and the folks on the other side are the scum of the earth. (Incidentally, when we play against morons, we rarely, if ever, sit down. The seats are there for time outs. Needless to say, we will get to sit a lot this year.)

Last weekend was opening day. We were playing the traditional doormats, so there wasn't really much to stand up for. I stood up along with a number of people in my row early in the fourth, when somebody tapped me from behind, and asked that I, ehem, sit down. Look, I have no problem giving in to polite requests of nice folks who do not share the same passion and excitement that I have for a silly game (who by the way could have stayed home, watched the game on TV and saved 120 pesos in the process). But, it's an entirely different matter for folks who talk to you as if you just decapitated their dog.

So I looked at her, and gave her this terrified look - like I was looking at the face of Evil itself. I think I even managed to get a chuckle or two from her young alalay. Later in the game, when the Hail Mary team sank a flurry of baskets to seal the win, and everybody was on their feet, I turned around, faced the nice lady, and gave her the best Michael Jordan (circa 1992 vs. Portland, when all His Airness' threes were going in) impression that I could muster.

Hey, what can I do?

Nice Try

Shortly after it was found out that a PEP test review center has actually been fielding high school dropouts and high school equivalency test flunkers in basketball games for two years running, and after the "negligent" school was subsequently suspended from league play for one year, mudslinging suddenly moved up a notch, and some people just started to come up with rumors, blind items and libelous accusations, clearly indicating but one thing: desperate idiots are scary.

A few weeks ago, the same rumors were published in two national broadsheets. Everybody, of course, had an idea as to who was behind the demolition job, but unlike idiots, we prefer to have something to back our statements up. Being the ingenious Ateneans that we are, somebody (it was only a matter of time) was able to obtain a copy of the facsimile that was sent to the press. And being the idiots that they are, they, of course, conveniently used their own fax machine, which ID function was likewise conveniently enabled.

The header said "02.523.4295 DLS PSI GSB." Feel free to "Google it!"

* * *

The 69th season of the UAAP, incidentally, will open tomorrow at the Araneta Coliseum. Ateneo will play the NU Bulldogs at 4PM. The Taft PEP Test Review Center will play with itself.

Big Ben and the Bulls

As a long-time Chicago sports fan, let me just share with you reports from ESPN, that Big Ben is driving east to Chicago, to play for da Bulls.

The biggest free-agent prize of the NBA offseason appears to be off the market. Ben Wallace has informed the Pistons he will sign with the Bulls, Insider Chad Ford reports. The deal is believed to be $52M for four years.

The Bulls now have an all-star center (which says a lot about centers in the East), to go along with the young backcourt tandem of Hinrich and Gordon, and wingmen Deng and Nocioni. Add 2006 draft 4th pick overall Tyrus Thomas and the perenially-underachieving Chandler, and we suddenly have a promising 2006-07 season.

C'mon. Crazier things have happened.

News and Current Affairs

During the course of the 2006 NBA playoffs, I noticed that ABC-5 was giving updates on the said playoffs, a full day late. In other words, they were giving NBA game results, that have already been delivered by the other channels, published on the Internet, broadcast on a delayed basis by local networks, and dissected by employees by the water cooler, a full day before. And I thought, it couldn't possibly be worse than that. Right.

During one of the timeouts in the SMB-RB semifinal game last night, I was able to catch a news update from ABC-5, this time about the 2006 World Cup. Firstly, the newsreader, adeptly pronounced the name of the sport's governing body as fai-fa. Miss, it's fee-fa. Repeat after me: fee-fa. Secondly, Rio de Janeiro is not the capital of Brazil. Brasilia is.

I don't know if ABC-5 has a research department, but I'm really more disappointed with the second blunder above, than with the first (it's forgivable, we don't watch football). You really don't need to pass Social Studies, or understand what those big stars on the map stand for, to get the name of the capital of Brazil right. Any idiot, can simply watch that film classic, I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, and get this little factoid right.

"Destabilizers"

Not only are we going to pass Consti; by God, we are going to do it in a well-groomed manner.

Photo courtesy of Inq7.net

First Day Low

What was once a group that reached a high of around 45 people has been, sadly, decimated down to, reportedly, 18 souls. Based on what little I can remember from Probability Theory, I believe that this does not bode well for one's chances of not getting called on to humiliate oneself.

But, aside from the almost mathematical certainty that the cocktail party phenomenon will manifest itself six days a week, there is still a more compelling reason for tempering our exuberance, or at least, what is left of it. The rest of the 45 people who have moved on, were, most importantly, friends and colleagues, who shared in a rather unique experience that can, perhaps, be compared to the military's boot camp. They are talented people who took, and passed, what is probably the most exacting qualifying examination of any academic institution in the country. They have moved on, either temporarily or permanently, because they

a. happened to enrol one year too early, missing Aga's class in LegHis in the process.

b. dropped Method, along with a number of people, apparently enough to constitute a critical mass, giving the professor enough incentive to pass all the 10 people who were courageous, crazy, or lucky enough to have stuck with it.

c. did not pay enough attention to Bib lessons, particularly to those concerning citations.

d. was forced not to enlist in Method, after being placed on probation, after being screwed for not having citations.

e. a and b.

f. c and d.

g. all of the above.

h. none of the above.

P.S.

Repeat after me. "The equal protection of the laws."

Nirvana

If you were watching TV as much as I have over the summer, you couldn't have possibly missed that feminine wash ad where the girls are so ecstatic it drove one of them to do a little jig, and another to do cartwheels.

Let me say at the onset, that biological circumstances do not permit me to patronize their product. I have, however, normal sisters and female friends, who on occasion, talk about their stuff. I am glad that, to this day, I have never had the grief of watching otherwise normal people, so driven to euphoria by their feminine wash, ending up utterly helpless to resist the seemingly primal urge to do cartwheels.

The whole ad is stupid. The whole freaking cast was absolutely giddy at the thought of using the product, that they all appeared like prepubescent teens on a pajama party talking about their first, likewise prepubescent, boyfriends.

The stupid ad is not, however, totally bereft of any merit or redeeming value. If anything, it could serve as excellent material, for the government's campaign against the use of illegal drugs.

* * *

Props up to PDI for devoting a page of their paper yesterday to an alternative universe front page. The whole page was written in Español, with the headline saying it all: "Viva el Rey!" The paper's mascot "Torito" is introduced in the page's ear. It also had a picture of what appears to be the Rizal Monument in Luneta, only that the man immortalized in bronze is not Rizal, but somebody who appears to be a Spanish conquistador on his horse. Yesterday, by the way, was Independence Day.

Don't Panic

All the important numbers are in. Although two of the numbers are still unofficial, they were pried out from rather credible sources. If the numbers and my math turn out to be correct, then, starting next Tuesday, I should be able to enjoy, at least, another year of fear, terror, and doubt. Not necessarily in that order.

So tomorrow, I shall again witness, and participate in, one of the most disorganized and chaotic activities ever designed by man - registration at Malcolm Hall.

Don't get me wrong. There is a line. It just somehow degenerates into one big mass of people converging at the Office of the College Secretary a few minutes before 8 am. This, in a place were lines are supposedly "sacred," where people are studying rules which apply to all!

I am not really hoping for any major miracle. I am resigned to the fact that the college will probably produce two more presidents before they do anything about this mess. But I am hoping that tomorrow, people will exhibit some common decency, and just fucking fall in line.

Erratum

I mentioned the other day that the vehicle, owned by a provincial governor, that was blown to kingdom come was a Hummer H3, which costs, at least, US$29,500.00 or Php1.56M.

I was wrong on two counts.

First, the vehicle was a Hummer H2 - not a Hummer H3. Second, it costs, at least, US$53,855.00 or Php2.85M - not a paltry Php1.56M.

My bad.

Abracadabra

Gloria berated DepEd OIC Fe Hidalgo the other day, for presenting numbers on classroom shortage in the public schools, which, while true, are significantly different from how the Malacanang-resident saw them, or wanted them to appear.

Hidalgo said she used the pupil-classroom ratio of 45 to 1 in her report. This prompted the President to raise her voice as she told the acting education secretary that they had previously agreed to use the ratio of 100 to 1.

If anything, Gloria's ranting and raving clearly shows what everyone else in this country knows - that Assumption-bred Gloria was never, ever enrolled in a public elementary or high school in this country, and therefore, has no idea whatsoever about what she is talking about.

I also have no clue as to where they came up with this so-called "two-shift policy," or who came up with it. I'm pretty sure Gloria did not get it from Assumption because it is not implemented there - or any other private school, for that matter. I don't know why. Maybe because the shifts are pedagogically unsound, and are actually detrimental to the students' health and safety, but that's just a wild guess. The government, apparently, doesn't care, as long as it can show that it is implementing measures to meet, albeit virtually, the classroom shortage.

Yesterday, a provincial governor's vehicle was bombed. The governor survived but his two aides were killed. I wasn't really paying too much attention to the news, until the governor's lawyer announced to the nation what the vehicle was. It was a Hummer H3. You know, the one that would set you back, at least, US$29,500.00 (or Php1.56M). Actually, I think I'll get one later today.

(One dollar = 52.85 pesos)

Stories and Tall Tales

I have it.

I was at the Power Plant Mall last night to meet Weng and her sister. After spending a couple of hours doing nothing but walk behind them, I decided to check out Fully Booked.

I was pleasantly surprised to find an open copy of John Irving's latest novel Until I Find You. Incidentally, yesterday was the release date of the book's paperback edition in the United States, so I did not expect to find one here this soon. I was about to ask the staff for another copy, when one of them walked towards me, carrying among others, the only remaining copy of the book in the store. Hooray.

The book is surprisingly thick. It turns out that, at over 800 pages, it is Irving's longest novel to date. I'll probably start reading it later tonight, as I only have roughly two weeks left, before all leisure reading gets suspended until after late October.

From the academic dishonesty department: the writers of Smallville and Terminator are looking for the person who came up with the idea of plagiarizing their stories, coming up with an unspeakably stupid Smallville-meets-Terminator storyline, and calling it Captain Barbell. There is no word yet as to whether or not Mars Ravelo has started spinning in his grave.

Dear Joe

My inbox currently has an item with the subject "Joe d' Mango Story." It is supposedly Joe's own story - his own "love problem." It is basically the same sappy third-party story that he has written about countless times in the past (not that I read them), only this time, the man, or the mango, is actually involved.

I do not know what makes the venerable Joe qualified to give advice to all these semi-suicidal, presumably, otherwise normal people, that all of them, for all these years, go to him for help. Why not, for instance, write to Xerex Xaviera instead? I hear he also writes about other people's "love problems."

In my opinion, one does not need go further than our laws to solve these problems. For instance, in the Revised Penal Code, you will find:

Art. 247. Death or physical injuries inflicted under exceptional circumstances. — Any legally married person who having surprised his spouse in the act of committing sexual intercourse with another person, shall kill any of them or both of them in the act or immediately thereafter, or shall inflict upon them any serious physical injury, shall suffer the penalty of destierro.

If he shall inflict upon them physical injuries of any other kind, he shall be exempt from punishment.

Nobody could have said it any better. The person who came up with this provision is a freaking genius. While this may not solve all kinds of "love problems" (the courts will probably construe "sexual intercourse" strictly, eliminating a host of other similar exciting acts from the provision's coverage), it's still sounds much better than all that "letting go" crap.

Freedom! Forever!

Remember, remember, the 5th of November
The Gunpowder Treason and plot;
I know of no reason why Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.

Yes, I just watched the film (on dibidi, of course) last weekend. Better late than never. It's so good and so timely, that all Filipinos should be required by law to watch it. "People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people." Now that's a tagline. Definitely, way better than "A brutal murder. A brilliant killer. A cop who can't resist the danger."

Dito ako may kapayapaan
Dito ang buhay ko'y may katuturan
Dito sa piling ng aking bayan
Kapwa'y paglilingkuran

I also discovered last Friday that SALIGAN has a "branch" over at Naga City. Cool. Now I know that there is more than one way of becoming a starving professional in Naga. You see, I realize more and more each day that this Makati corporate shit is not for me. Right now, I'm sticking with it only because it pays the bills. Loving it? You have got to be kidding me.

I guess it's the promdi in me. There's still nothing like being home before Mike Enriquez' funny voice startles the living crap out of everybody who's watching the news. Or going to work without having to endure the horrible traffic. And the more horrible body odor of the guy standing right next to you. On a cramped train (think Amazing Race). And there is something to be said about living in a place where your home is within walking distance of practically everything you need; where, for at least one day every year, you can go into anybody's house and eat, gratis, to your heart's, and more importantly, to your stomach's, content. Granting that crime is everywhere these days, I'd still prefer to live in a place where if somebody steals something from you, chances are, you know who the culprit is.

So, one day five years from now, I'll take Raul Gonzales' advice to the Batasan 5, and head for the hills once more. Yup. Sounds like a plan.

Quote of the Day

I can only please one person a day.
Today is not your day.
Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

Now Showing

PDI editorial cartoon, 17 May 2006

Of Myths and Sisyphus

I noticed that I haven't come up with any interesting post for quite some time now. For convenience, I'll just blame it on the mind-numbing effects of reading volumes of the SCRA. I had, in fact, picked up a book as early as last March that I vowed to read over the break - which I did - if only to break the monotony of reading nothing but seedy stuff about petitioners and appellants, and a bunch wherefores for the past year. The book, by the way, is some guy's autobiographical account of his first year at Harvard Law.

Lately, I have been spending my lucid moments trying to explain to an American counterpart what we poor, backward Asians need, to start working on his project. Despite my sheer brilliance and eloquence, I cannot help but feel for Sisyphus everytime I talk to the guy. Somehow, he was able to make "going around in circles" an art form. And he has mastered it.

And what's all the fuss about the Da Vinci Code anyway? Everybody who's got a stick up his ass is ranting and raving and asking the MTRCB to ban the film from the country. News flash, ladies and gentlemen, it's a work of fiction. It's a documentary in the same sense that How to Make an American Quilt is an instructional video. Come on! People watch GMA's and ABS-CBN's attempts at entertainment on TV everyday. You don't see people booking flights to Saladin, do you?

Speaking of Saladin, this TV formula of characters who get separated, and who futilely try to find one another their whole lives, where after a generation, by some stroke of luck, they end up within two feet of each other, but somehow, for some stupid and utterly unbelievable reason, the idiots still don't see each other, is getting really annoying. Yes, I know that men with magical powers don't really live in some magical land, but that's just the point. There is a limit to how long I can suspend disbelief. I'm willing to believe that a half-naked Katrina Halili has magical powers, but there is no way that I would buy that daughter-leaves-while-mother-looks-away bullshit. It's old. And it's crap.

Strike Three

The decision on PP1017 came out yesterday, and the Inquirer has characterized the ruling as "the third slap on Ms Arroyo by the tribunal." Ouch.

IT EVOKED shades of Ferdinand Marcos' martial law edict.

The Supreme Court yesterday declared unconstitutional the arrests of protesters, the forcible breakup of rallies, and the raid on a newspaper office that were carried out by security forces in accordance with President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo's proclamation declaring a state of emergency in February.

Voting 11-3, the court upheld the power of Ms Arroyo to declare a state of emergency and call on the Armed Forces to suppress lawless violence under Presidential Proclamation No. 1017. At the same time, however, the tribunal ruled as illegal a clause in PP 1017 giving herself authority to issue decrees.

This is the third time in three weeks that the high court found GMA and her minions violating the people's most basic rights, enshrined in the Constitution that she desperately wants to change (Gee, I wonder why). At least, this time, she can sleep knowing that the voting was not unanimous unlike the previous two (14-0 and 13-0). Nevermind hara-kiri, if this was Baseball, she would have already struck out. Swinging.

Broken Arrow

ABS-CBN has reported that the PEP Test Review Center has threatened to bolt the UAAP.

The De La Salle University (DLSU) administration on Thursday threatened to break away from the University Athletics Association of the Philippines (UAAP) following the one-year suspension imposed on the school for fielding two ineligible basketball players, DZMM reported.

And I thought it would only be for one season. No more lining up for tickets, forever!

Incidentally, a regular poster on various internet fora, managed to dig up a CHED Memorandum Order from 2003 regarding "Precautionary Measures In Accepting/Enrolling Students with PEPT Documents." It was issued "in consonance with the advisory from the [DepEd], that a number of unscrupulous individuals were found submitting falsified documents to gain admission in college."

The signatory? A certain Rolando Ramos Dizon.

Hope Springs Eternal

When it rains, it pours. PDI has reported that the Supreme Court has declared Gloria's Calibrated Preemptive Response unconstitutional.

THE SUPREME Court has declared as unconstitutional the Calibrated Preemptive Response (CPR) policy of the government but said that Batas Pambansa 88 or the Public Assembly Act was legal.

Voting 13-0, the high court ordered the Department of Interior and Local Government to strictly implement Section 15 of BP880.

The CPR bans street rallies without permits and gives the government the authority to deal with protesters accordingly.

Section 15 provides that: “Every city and municipality in the country shall within six months after the effectivity of this Act establish or designate at least one suitable ‘freedom park’ or mall in their respective jurisdictions which, as far as practicable, shall be centrally located within the poblacion where demonstrations and meetings may be held at any time without the need of any prior permit.”

The SC voted 13-0, barely a week after they voted 14-0 against EO 464. Wow. Basted na naman. At the rate Gloria is going, she is going to set a record of sorts for most number of manifestly unconstitutional orders and/or policies struck down unanimously by the Supreme Court.

I am sure that inspite of the unanimous vote, some moron from Malacañang is going to say that they are going to ask the high court to reconsider. Well, good luck to you.

Letters

What follows is a letter sent by a certain Dennis L. Reyes from Torrance, CA to the PDI. It is, by far, the best letter to the editor that I have ever read. I am publishing it here in toto.

I DON’T understand why people are afraid of Charter change. It offers the best opportunity for us to install the best and the brightest Filipino as our eternal leader.

In fact, instead of shifting to a parliamentary form of government, why don’t we just become a monarchy, with Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo as the queen -- or the empress, if you will. This will fulfill the dreams of Apo Marcos about a Philippine Maharlika. This will also bring us back to the glorious years of kings and queens, of France’s Marie Antoniette, of Russia’s czars and czarinas during the Romanov dynasty.

Then we can grant the poor royal titles so that their lives will be uplifted. We can call them knights or dukes or duchesses and their shanties will be referred to as castles or manors. This way Charter change can solve the poverty of our people.

Another reason for us to support Charter change is that it has the support of Ms Arroyo, who talks to the “Lord” as she talked to Pope John Paul before he died. Ms Arroyo is the Philippines’ Joan of Arc. By giving us Ms Arroyo and her knights of traditional politicians, the Lord shows that he loves Filipinos. Ms Arroyo is the will of the Lord. Nobody should contest the will of the Lord.

So everyone should support Charter change. It’s our only salvation from all our problems. It’s the bullet that a man with brain cancer needs in his head.

Ms Arroyo said so. Has she lied to us before?

There's Always Next Year

By now, everybody should have already heard that those cheaters from the PEP Test Review Center along Taft have been suspended from participation in all events in the UAAP. From UBelt.com:

The University Athletic Association of the Philippines (UAAP) has suspended De La Salle University for one year—in Season 69—for negligence as regards the spurious academic documents of two members of its men’s varsity basketball team.

“After due deliberation and in the interest of the league, the board with all the members present and in accordance with its rules and regulation[s] by a unanimous vote decided to suspend [the] De La Salle University,” the UAAP board ruled.

Furthermore: “By three fourths vote of its members qualified to vote in accordance with its rules[,] the board decided that [the] De La Salle University shall be suspended for a period of one year effective UAAP Season 69 and shall cover all sports events.”

This means that we all have to wait for one more season before we can unfurl any banner or poster, making any reference whatsoever to the government-administered PEP Test. Admittedly, there wouldn't be as much fun without those idiots, but at least, we can now be sure that we don't have to line up for hours for tickets next season.

Thank You. Try Again.

I am interrupting regular programming to happily announce to the world that Executive Order 464 has been declared unconstitutional by the Supreme Court.

You might remember that Gloria issued EO 464 to bar officials from the executive, military, and police from appearing in legislative inquiries without her consent. While she has softened on her position and allowed officials to appear before confirmation hearings and those related to the passage of the 2006 budget bill, she has stubbornly withheld her consent in all inquiries on various illegal and criminal activities which tend to establish her complicity therein (see wiretapping scandal and the fertilizer fund scam).

Now that it has been declared unconstitutional, I can't wait to see the face of the first lucky bastard who gets invited to Congress for a little chit-chat.

Of Mice and Men

Change of plans. The Harry Roque Funfest did not push through last Saturday. Everybody was there waiting to undergo their final rites, only to be disappointed, because no proctor - and no exam - arrived. In local parlance, in-indian kami.

As always, when shit hits the fan, you blame the PC. Harry has apparently already sent the questions via email to his staff, who for one reason or another, was not able to receive it (fortuitous event perhaps?). That sound that you hear is the sound of all those years of believing that email is infinitely more dependable than the Philpost going down the drain. Of course, I am being sarcastic.

In other news, I have finally given in. I have resisted it for as long as I possibly could, but alas, I am but human. I now have a Friendster account.

Big Time

Gloria has finally made it.

No, she has not yet successfully proclaimed herself dictator-for-life. She has also not yet managed to tinker with the Constitution to make it suit her needs. Nor has she been able to finally stifle all forms of dissent, muzzle the press, or cow the opposition to submission.

She was, however, the subject of the New York Times' editorial yesterday entitled "Dark Days for Philippine Democracy." The New York Times.

Mrs. Arroyo is no Ferdinand Marcos, at least not yet. But this onetime reformer is reviving bad memories of crony corruption, presidential vote-rigging and intimidation of critical journalists. Unless the Philippine Congress and courts find ways to rein in her increasingly authoritarian tendencies, democracy itself may be in danger.

Yeah, baby!

I'm still waiting for Raul Gonzales to make some wiseass remark about the Times. I also can't wait to finally hear Gloria sing:

Start spreading the news
I'm leaving today...

One L

This Saturday at 5PM, I would be saying goodbye to good ol' Malcolm Hall.

Hopefully, only for two months.

There will be one last mental torture session before we officially call it a semester - and a year. It's really hard to concentrate on what needs to be done at this point, when you are practically counting the days and hours down, before you finally find yourself mercifully emancipated, albeit temporarily, from all the horror and drudgery incident to this unique form of self-imposed struggle and hard labor.

I was, suprisingly, still able to find (though barely) the impetus to prepare for the upcoming weekend, in spite of the wretched Crim 2 finals that we all had to suffer last Saturday. For this weekend, I decided to just reread Jurado's reviewer, and let the chips fall where they may. It wouldn't be as comprehensive as rereading Tolentino, but fuck it, I am not going to read IV Tolentino again. I am also almost sure that it's a lot better than not reviewing at all.

So, on Saturday at 5PM, I will use everything in my power to find a way to celebrate this "momentous occasion." There's not really much to it when you look at the big picture, but when you survived the last year the way I did, by surviving it one recit, one case, one day at a time, every single day is a milestone. So, I will eat. I will drink. And I sure as hell will be merry.

Eloquence

If I Only Had a Brain

Quinito Henson, a Lasallite through and through, averred in his column yesterday that "Arana has accumulated 24 units of failures and is not academically qualified to reenroll at La Salle."

Well, there goes all those AHEAD tutorial billboards. Evidently, Arana needed tutorial services. Badly. But, come on, they might as well have asked the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz to endorse their services. It's just like asking Bembol Roco to endorse a brand of shampoo.

It is assumed, nevertheless, that Arana passed all his dancing courses at DLRT with flying colors.

Felonies for Dummies

Who would have thought that it was possible to learn Criminal Law in three weeks? Yep, we basically breezed through crimes against persons, personal liberty and security, property, chastity, and honor, and criminal negligence all within the last three weeks of the semester. We actually learned theft all the way down to criminal negligence in one meeting.

After a week of trying, I was finally able to finish reading Reyes' commentary on the RPC last Sunday morning (about 1:30 AM). Whether I actually learned anything from it is yet to be seen. My pace was hardly inspiring. On Monday night, I was able to read from robbery to brigandage; then on Tuesday, theft to fraudulent insolvency; on Wednesday, i was able to start on estafa and finished estafa through abuse of confidence; on Thursday, estafa through deceit to other deceits. I called in sick last Friday and just rolled - chattel mortgage all the way to white slave trade. Then, on Friday night, I finished abduction and all the provisions under Title XII, and on Saturday all the way to Sunday morning, finished the rest of the oh-so-lovely commentary on punishable acts and omissions under this jurisdiction.

So, if ever I pass the exam on Saturday, which by the way would constitute 60% of my final grade, I can probably muster enough mojo to pass myself off as an authority on crime and punishment, and assert my knowledge of specific felonies, such as say, illegal use of uniforms or insignia.

Blogging Barbie

All Work and No Play is Bad

It has just been reported that the Sony PlayStation 3 will not be released until November.

TOKYO--(UPDATE) Sony will put off the release of its much awaited PlayStation 3 machine until November from its planned spring debut because of delays in finalizing its next-generation disk technology, the company said Wednesday.

Now, that would have been sad, if I was liquid enough to buy a console on its original release date. As it turns out, I may just have enough moolah by November to get me one in time for Christmas.

Happy Holidays!

Muchas Grasas

I don't know about you, but I think the society pages are a load of crap.

I say it's useless. Granted that the top 5% richest families in the country read this section before they do Pugad Baboy, just imagine how many trees PDI and the other papers can save by not printing this section altogether. You see, the rich folks - or as Maurice Arcache puts it, "all the beautiful people" - can spew out hot air among each other, without involving us innocent civilians, since they all live within three blocks of each other anyway.

Que horror, palanggas! Unfortunately, this will not alleviate the pain and suffering of society writers, which may be caused by restraining their propensity to list the names of these uber-rich people and their current paramours. Surely, not only Class A folks deserve to know who, for instance, the "civic-minded hotshot personalities from the business, arts and culture sectors" are, while using adjectives such as "adorable," "world traveler and renowned," "popular couple," and one of my favorites, "ultra glam" in the process. All in one sentence.

If these pages have a redeeming value, it's this: these pages can explain why the rich become richer and the poor become poorer, better than any investigative journalist's work can. You see, you and I have about the same chances as a snowball's in hell, in having a "seven-course degustation dinner at The Tivoli" with one of these "gorgeous" and "stylish" society folks. You can imagine your chances in dating, much less marrying one of them.

So you see, palanggas, the "chi-chi pack" keep the wealth amongst themselves. It doesn't go out of the family.

P.S. Seriously though, during these times, when people line up for days for a chance to win prizes from television shows and escape poverty in the process, showing off what rich people do with their spare time is just plain tasteless.

Where's the Babble?

Tonight, at 7:35 PM, Red Bull Barako will play its first game in the PBA Philippine Cup vs. perennial favorite San Miguel Beer. For some people, myself included, the game itself will be somewhat overshadowed by Rich Alvarez' reunion with Enrico Villanueva, Larry Fonacier and Paolo Bugia, who for the first time since 2002, will be donning the same jerseys. Just in case you just crawled out from under a rock, these players (except Bugia, who was injured that year), together with Wesley Gonzales and LA Tenorio, formed the core of the 2002 UAAP champions Ateneo Blue Eagles.

Gonzales, incidentally, will be playing for the other side tonight, after a mid-season trade with Airhead21 which brought him to SMB, where he joins fellow Atenean Olsen Racela. Tonight's game will thus feature all six active Blue Eagles in the PBA.

Which begs the question: what the hell was BJ Manalo smoking when he said

My dream, even as a kid, was to play professional basketball. In my mind, Ateneo is the school to go if you dream to become successful in the corporate world, but not to achieve in pro basketball.

Wow, mali.

Ignorance is Strength

If you have read George Orwell's 1984, I am sure that (1) unlike 99% of the viewing public, you know why the show is called Pinoy Big Brother, and (2) Supreme Editor-in-Chief Lomibao's antics are starting to sound like Orwell's Minitrue to you.

Minitrue, or the Ministry of Truth, is one of Oceania's four ministries. It is:

The propaganda arm of Oceania's regime. Minitrue controls political literature, the Party organization, and the telescreens. Winston Smith works for Minitrue, "rectifying" historical records and newspaper articles to make them conform to IngSoc's most recent pronouncements, thus making everything that the Party says true.

If we are indeed living in Orwell's 1984, Minitrue would be headed by, naturally, Toting "Fake CD" Bunye. Supreme Editor-in-Chief Lomibao, on the other hand, would probably be one of its most trusted agents.

Joke Time

As if we need more proof to show that Gloria is truly out of touch with the harsh realities of life for the majority of the Filipinos, she just decided to explain why brain drain is a good thing.

WHILE most observers agree that Filipinos are leaving the country in droves for lack of job opportunities here, President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo said that the worker exodus was propelled by strong overseas demand for their talents and not by desperate conditions at home.

Maybe she's right. Maybe Filipino doctors are not really desperate. Maybe there is just a very strong demand for Filipino nurses abroad.

If nothing else, what she said just shows you that there is not a single OFW in the Macapagal-Arroyo clan.

What's in a name?

It's now in the hands of the Supreme Court. Let us all pray that they would have the balls to decide the case on the merits, rather than dismiss it outright on ground of mootness (which is precisely why Gloria lifted it in the first place, dummy). Otherwise, as Drilon noted, "the media and freedom of the press may become academic."

While the President has the power to impose martial law or suspend the privilege of the writ of habeas corpus, Gloria has not resorted to either, because they are subject to the review of Congress and/or the Supreme Court. This is one of the many safeguards enshrined in the 1987 Constitution after the nation's collective experience with Martial Law. Gloria, on two previous occasions, resorted to the third commander-in-chief power which says "when it becomes necessary, she may call on the Armed Forces to prevent or suppress lawless violence or rebellion." This power has no "expiry date", and is generally beyond the power of review by the Supreme Court.

Just to refresh our memories, here are the two previous instances when Gloria called on the AFP:

In a May 2001 case involving an attempt by supporters of ousted President Joseph Estrada to march on Malacañang, the court held that the issue had become academic after Ms Arroyo rescinded her declaration of a state of rebellion.

However, Bernas recalled that the court dealt Ms Arroyo a setback in the Oakwood mutiny case in 2003 when it ruled even after the President had lifted a similar proclamation that a state of rebellion “cannot diminish or violate constitutionally protected rights.”

As Bernas noted yesterday

These two decisions clarify the meaning and the legal consequences of a declaration of a "state of rebellion." Such declaration adds no new powers. Our President, zealous guardian that she is of the "rule of law," accepts that clarification. But, desiring to assume powers which a declaration of a state of rebellion does not give, she avoided declaring a "state of rebellion." Instead, she proclaimed "a state of national emergency" to let her minions go their merry way. Beautiful!

There are innumerable words in the English dictionary. Merriam-Webster Online lists five synonyms for the word rebellion alone, i.e. revolution, uprising, revolt, insurrection and mutiny, which Gloria has not yet used as a euphemism for her own personal state of paranoia and panic. Now, unless the SC decides this controversy with finality, we may yet see this country under all different kinds of states, with nothing but Gloria's imagination to limit the possibilities.

That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet.